Yikes - Games I really shouldn't have bought

Every now and then I end up with a game that I simply can not hope to wrap my head around or they're in a state that's pretty much unplayable. To me even the worst game isn't a waste of money because there's still something I can learn from playing it. With these games however what else can I say aside from...oops?

Die By the Sword - I read a bit about this game way back and thought it sounded really interesting. It's an action game with a unique control system and customizable movesets. It also has features like the ability to hack limbs off of an enemy and watch them hop around helplessly(though the same can be done to you so you can do your best Black Knight impression). Unfortunately it's probably my lack of a dedicated 3D graphics card because this game is unplayable. Maybe I'll give it another go in a few years.

Redneck Rampage - I guess you had to be there to appreciate games like this. Basically it's your typical tale of hicks vs aliens and includes all of those wacky redneck stereotypes like pork reins, shootin' aliens instead of shooting, and some hillbilly tunes to jam out to. I gotta say though the highlight of the game so far is the soundtrack. Otherwise this game looks and runs quite terribly. I think I'm going to avoid 3D-card games for awhile.

Guilty Gear Overture - I try to stay open-minded but even I don't have the mind for this game. I couldn't care less that it isn't a 2D fighter but a Real-Time Action Stategy game just isn't for me. I can only guess that Arc Systems accomplished whatever it was they were trying to do here cause even after running through the glorified tutorial that is the story mode and trying a multiplayer match(which froze my 360..thanks) I'm almost as lost now as I was when I tried the demo of the JPN version a long time ago.

Divine Divinity - The best thing about this game is most definitely the soundtrack. One of the nice features of GOG.com is that a number of the games available have downloadable soundtracks in mp3 format. As a pizza delivery guy I go through a lot of music so this is always welcome. The soundtrack to this game is beautiful and atmospheric, some of the pieces even remind me of the music to Blade Runner. This game on the other hand feels like a dated Diablo 1.5. It tries to capture the mood of the first game while employing the features of the sequel. Unfortunately I got hit with a crash-bug early on and I can't figure out how to get around it. Oh well it's probably not worth the time anyway, the first 10 hours I spent with the game haven't really blown me away.

Metro 2033 - Good game but I have absolutely no time for it. Life is short and I gotta prioritize so this game had to go.

Dragon Quest V - While the story is charming and the characters are endearing the game itself just wasn't enough to hold my interest. I guess I'm getting tired of the traditional JRPGs or maybe it's just the wrong time of the year for it. Whatever the case I wasted my time on this one and got maybe a 1/3 of the way through it. I'm sure others will love it however as it's a quality game.

Ultima Collection (I-VIII) - Like a lot of things this seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately I came to the realization that I'm getting older and one day my ability to play action-oriented games will have all but faded away with time. Maybe I'll come back to something like this when I'm seventy and can devote that kind of time to hundreds of hours of Ultima goodness. If that doesn't happen well..who cares?

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory - I heard this was an absolutely fantastic Stealth game. Problem is I continue to forget that I don't care for stealth games. On the bright side at least I was only out $4.

There'll be others in the future so feel free to keep an eye out.