Bat-Octoberfest - Batman Forever (Eternity rom-hack)

For today's review, I'm playing the Eternity romhack of Batman Forever, which will henceforth be referred to as Batman Eternity. Tempting as it may be to play the unaltered edition of a Sega Genesis "classic", I'm taking the path of less resistance. What this romhack does is it removes the platforming and puzzle elements from the game. Seeing as how the very thought of jumping over pits or onto moving objects using Mortal Kombat kontrols fills me with immense dread, these sound like appreciable omissions. If there's still time remaining in Bat-Octoberfest, then maybe I'll give the original a shot. No promises though.

Batman Eternity is a side-scrolling beatemup... Hmm... I'm afraid that's not quite right. The game is closer to a 1v2 or 2v2 fighter. Fighting alone or as a team, Batman and Robin must do battle with the Riddler, Two-Face, and their entire goon squad. I know I've talked about goons a lot this month, but these adversaries are the gooniest by far. Half of them are either masked-goofs who swing chainsaws or honey-mustard coat wearing goobers with flamethrowers. Admittedly, I'm not against the idea of an unserious brawler. One of gaming's many tragedies is that 1966 Batman never saw a belt-scroller. I just think they went a little too far in some places and not far enough in others. Fights often come off as a few dudes in cheap costumes stumbling into each other until someone hits the ground and fades away. 

Combat is... not great. 

I suppose I should start with the lack of impact. The "oomph!" that's supposed to tie everything together with a pretty bow simply isn't there. Punches land with as much force as balled-up handkerchiefs. Batman & Robin have a headbutt that looks more like they're leaning forward to give hapless thugs a peck on the cheek. At multiple points throughout the adventure, I saw Batman take literal chainsaws to the crotch and didn't so much as blink. Nothing connects. There's none of that tactile feedback that fires off the synapses in my neanderthal brain. The only move that kind-of works is the uppercut. Yeah, they didn't totally ruin one of the most satisfying moves in Mortal Kombat history. I guess that's worth a half-point in my (still nonexistent) rating system.

The controls are tolerable if all you're doing is fighting. Batman's various moves aren't fun to perform, but they're responsive enough to use during a brawl. Most of the time though, I relied on gadgets to survive. These are unlimited use and performed via special move inputs. If my firsthand experience counts for anything, the most powerful has to be the bat cuffs. My guess is that originally these were an unlockable of some kind, but the romhack makes them available from the beginning. That's fine by me, because they're one of the few tools that's useful for every occasion. Throwing the bat cuffs is as easy as double tapping forward and hitting C. Forward, forward C, ->, -> C, however many times it takes. Enemies can block the projectile, but it leaves them in block-stun too long to do anything about it. The second it connects I can hit them with an uppercut.

Going through the game using the same two movies like a day 1 Sub-Zero makes it sound awfully one-dimensional, but I'm just relating what worked for me. There's not really an incentive to try the other gadgets, which tend to do little damage or whiff entirely. More often than not, attempting to be the least bit creative results in Batman getting surrounded and pounded. In spite of their relentlessly corny attire, enemies have a large array of moves and will cram many of them into a sequence if they're allowed the opportunity. The heroes have rear attacks that are performed via back + an attack button. To me, they feel ineffective, like there isn't enough hit-stun. If only Batman or Robin could just grab both goons and knock their heads together like in Batman Returns on the Super Nintendo... I miss that game already. 

Each stage is essentially a series of arenas to do battle in. Most of the time, this just means a hallway or large room, perhaps with some objects to destroy for hidden items. There will be instances where the dynamic duo has to defend themselves near precarious ledges. Sure, knocking a henchman off a moving safe or into a hole is a quick means of eliminating them, but the same can and most definitely will happen to the good guys. I can see why the creator of this romhack gave players 10 lives to start off with. It's mind-boggling that the original game shipped without a continue feature, especially when lives are easily lost to bottomless pits. One notable arena has electric currents that must be leapt over, as well as subway trains. A well-timed use of the grappling hook avoids them entirely, which is actually pretty neat. Points for that.

All that remains are the bosses, whose most notable attributes are being just as inconsistent as their minions. Two-Face actually has some unique characteristics, including the chance to regain some health whenever he flips his coin. The Riddler is just a big joke. His first form is an inflatable muscle suit. Maybe it has some actual moves. I didn't bother to find out. The second form is hardly worth mentioning. Clearly, ideas were involved in the creation of the final boss, but he's beaten by bat-cuff spam just like everyone else. 

While there isn't a lack of locales to duke it out in, the repetitive and pitiful combat is mind-numbingly dull. I don't have any complaints with Batman Eternity. The author did what they could with the cards that were dealt. All of the cuts and changes were made to emphasize the game's best qualities. Sadly, its best can't even be considered good. I can't even begin to imagine how dire Batman Forever must've been, if slicing out nearly 30 minutes of it resulted in a much better product. 

Bat-Octoberfest - The Adventures of Batman & Robin (SNES)

It's hard to argue with Konami's output during the 80s & 90s. No matter what hardware you handed them; they were going to churn out a handful of classics in an instant. For their final outing with The Dark Knight, they went above and beyond, creating one of the best-looking games on the Super Nintendo. No hyperbole, this is Batman: The Animated Series in all its glory. I'm the last reviewer capable of coming up with a hundred dozen ways to describe good graphics. The only words I can use are stunning, unreal, striking, bold, and immaculate. The Adventures of Batman & Robin is all those... and more. 

Please don't ask what I meant when I said "...and more." because I don't know. It just sounded like something worth tacking on to the end of a sentence. For real though, seeing a game that looks this accurate to the cartoon is a delightful shock to the senses. It's not just the scene-for-scene recreations, but also the fantastic animation and excellent lighting. Oh, and the soundtrack rules too. One of my new favorite pieces of SNES music is the first track from "Fowl Play" aka stage 3. To think, there might have be an alternate timeline where Konami put out a series of Batmanvanias, and they all had music as good as that piece.

Since I've just about exhausted my vocabulary, it's time to move on to discussing the actual game. Taking control of the Caped Crusader, players must challenge eight stages, many of which are loosely based on episodes from the series. To give an idea of what to expect; stage 2 "No Green Peace" pulls elements from both Pretty Poison and Eternal Youth. At the end, Batman will do battle with none other than Poison Ivy and her man-eating plant. Though the game starts with a kick-punch segment where the hero lays waste to various gun-toting goons, this is not going to be your typical action-platformer. Each stage is unique, challenging players in sometimes unexpected ways. Out of all the Bat-Octoberfest games I've covered thus far, this one feels the most like being the Batman. It's a delightful experience.

Now, I definitely don't want to downplay the kick-punch aspects too much, because they are still integral to fighting the many nemeses of Gotham City. Besides the all-important 1-2 jab, Batman can crouch to kick, which has a little more range at the slight cost of speed. His jump-kick is a good answer to most problems. He can also grab and toss goons, though femme fatales are immune to that sort of contact. Not to get too sidetracked already, but I have to mention that since almost every enemy in stage 2 is a woman, using batarangs to temporarily stun them is the only option available. The fights with Catwoman later on will involve fisticuffs, but grabs are still rebuffed with a kick. Everyone else is fair game.

Before a stage begins, the player must decide on what equipment Batman should take with him. You're free to take as much (or as little) as you want. There is one condition. While you could take everything, some gadgets are only necessary for a particular stage. Also, since switching between and using them requires additional button-presses, carrying too many items will get unwieldy, and might cost Batman his life during a critical moment. Thankfully, retreating to the Bat Cave is always an option. Make use of it if you don't have the right equipment or need to replenish your lives and continues. Restarting the stage is a small price to pay for such convenience.

Most armaments are of the "throw and forget" variety. Stars and plastic explosives deal damage. Since enemies are typically dealt with in one to three hits, you might as well just save them for bosses. The spray gun is a less violent problem-solver than a punch in the face, so keep it in mind when facing innocent people under the effects of a fear-inducing toxin, likely spread by some guy dressed as a scarecrow. The other gadgets have unlimited uses but are much more situational. You'll use each of them once throughout the entire game. That said, you're only going to make things much harder on yourself by attempting to ignore them. Finally, the batarang and grappling gun are always equipped. A batarang can knock the gun out of someone's hand. Which is always nice. One thing that players might not realize until it's too late is that the grappling gun's mechanics are a little unwieldy. Hooking onto an object takes some precise timing. Moreover, releasing the grapple at the wrong moment will send Batman flying in an unintended direction, most likely to his doom. A late-game section where the hero must swing underneath a zeppelin will likely result in several lost lives.

Since The Adventures of Batman & Robin delivers its action through a series of situations, the difficulty is less of an upward climb and more hills & valleys. The first couple of bosses are surprisingly durable. I'm pretty sure it takes more punches to down the Joker here than in every movie and TV show put together. Swinging across the trees of Poison Ivy's lair presents an early yet challenging test of the grappling gun. Most of stage 3 is working with clues and finding hostages, while stage 4 is a short (but memorable) chase sequence. 

Stage 5 is the obligatory vehicle section. Wait. Wasn't stage 5 in Batman Returns also Batmobile-centric? Odd coincidence. Anyway, this section is designed in the spirit of overhead-view driving games. If you've played Spy Hunter, then you're already halfway to understanding what's going on. However, like some of the later sections with the grappling gun, this game will incorrectly assume you're an expert at handling the Batmobile. The time-limit in the first checkpoint is very short, and you can get away with maybe one error. Dodging traffic is one thing, but the real killer is all of the sharp turns. They're easy to mess up, forcing a restart. I understand it's a tricky balance, since even an extra 10 seconds on the clock could erase all semblance of challenge from the stage. Still, the amount of practice necessary to finish what's ostensibly a 3-minute stage creates "difficulty holes" for players to fall into. 

It took many attempts to reach Two-Face with this much time remaining.

While I could put forth the argument that the variety of sometimes uneven scenarios dates the game, I'd just end up feeling like I'm being contrarian because I have nothing else to say. The low points aren't even bad. At worst, they're unexpected friction, and might necessitate a trip to the Bat Cave to regroup. Even then, you're only out a couple or so minutes. The stages move quickly enough that you're not trudging through filler just to get another shot at the section you're stuck at. Part of being the Batman is dealing with everything that comes with the cowl. It's not always amazing, but it always works, and that counts for a lot.  

Where it does get amazing is the spectacle. Whether it's battling the Clown Prince of Crime atop a rollercoaster or fighting your way to the Scarecrow while his zeppelin careens into buildings, there are this liveliness and energy to everything. What's also great is that there's never any compromise. The climactic encounters are fully interactive. No cutscenes, no QTEs, no limitations on what you're allowed to do during a specific moment. I know I already brought up the graphics, but the appeal of the game is more than its visuals. It's the way it carries itself, realizing ambitions that were otherwise unimaginable in 1994. 

Stage 7 is a recreation of Edward Nygma's classic game "Maze of the Minotaur". Take a gander at the screenshot above. It's exactly what it looks like: a giant maze. You'll solve riddles, seek out false walls, and battle plenty of virtual goons. Although, since I've had to dwell on it, the enemy variety consisting almost entirely of guy + guy w/ handgun + guy w/ machinegun is a little disappointing. Adding a strongman and some dudes with swords would've gone a long way. On the other hand, the predictability helps with staying alive. Restoratives are uncommon, even in larger stages like this one, so knowing exactly how to handle every foe is required to progress. 

The subsequent battle with the Riddler has a pattern that's easy to figure out, but mistakes are punished harshly. This is another sometimes literal "difficulty hole", since Batman can get crushed by a king or fall to his death. What helps to keep the annoyance from overtaking the enjoyment is that the maze isn't that big, and the score-based extends you'll pick up over the course of the game are permanent. Now, obviously this is dependent on the difficulty setting, but having 5 tries against a boss instead of just 3 helps quite a bit. 

There's still the final stage to contend with. Yeah, it's a boss-rush. The refights don't take too long, and there are a few surprises. Even better, the strategies you worked out to defeat each villain are even more viable here. Catwoman falls to a jump-kick loop. Stay on The Scarecrow's straw-filled behind, all the while pelting him with batarangs and punches. The Penguin no longer has a helicopter assist. Altogether, it's a great showcase of how well you've honed your abilities in a short period of time.

I will have to nitpick the fact that the few times this game provides hearts, they're often small. Was a large heart after three boss-bouts in a row too much to ask for? 

There are a few sticking points in this game, but they're easy to look past. The Adventures of Batman & Robin's lasting impression more than makes up for the instant deaths and a couple overtuned segments involving the Batmobile. Konami did an incredible job. Visually, this still looks on par with games released decades later! Granted, credit must also be given to Batman: The Animated Series for its timeless art-direction, but the dev-team's flawless adaptation to it can't be commended enough. It's another must-play.

Bat-Octoberfest - Batman: The Animated Series (Game Boy)

The previous Batman game I covered was... an ordeal, to put it kindly. Thankfully, Batman: The Animated Series for the Nintendo Game Boy is back-to-basics action & platforming entertainment. Before going any further, I have to give credit to the amazing talent at Konami for once again making miracles happen within the confines of Nintendo's handheld. The graphics make full use of the limited palette to create a gripping atmosphere. Then there's the music, which fits the action perfectly. Oh, and I have to give an extra special mention to the 8-bit rendition of the Batman: TAS opening theme. Fantastic work.

That's all I have to say about the audiovisual stuff. Mostly, I'm just glad to have a normal video game after that nasty mess I covered yesterday. It's just a bonus that Konami put just as much effort into the aesthetics as they did the mechanics. Anyway, the idea behind this game is that it's more than just another hop & punch. In fact, if you try to rush through the danger, your suffering will be immense. The pacing is more akin to titles like Bonanza Bros. and Crackdown. If you've played either, then you know that they're arcade games that emphasize stealth, but you're also expected to move quickly. Mainly, what I'm getting at is running up to everyone and throwing hands isn't the way to go. There are only so many enemies in each area, but you're expected to use the environment and Batman's limited abilities to get the drop on them. 

As early as Episode 1, you'll notice that any goon facing Batman will attempt to take a swing at him. While the Dark Knight does have a semi-decent amount of health, he won't get far trading blows with everyone. Moreover, restoratives are uncommon. You can find them, but never as drops from defeated foes. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, batarangs are extremely limited and not exactly the difference-makers they might've been in other games. All Batman (& Robin) really has is a punch, and let's be honest here, it's not even a great one. It doesn't combo into anything, and you can't mash the button to eviscerate opposition. Nevertheless, despite it being all you have, it's also all you actually need.

Episode 2 drills this concept further into your bat-skull by introducing bad guys with guns. From here on out, adversaries that aren't packing something are as rare as those restoratives I mentioned a second ago. Attack your foes from behind, above, or below, as often as you can. Alternatively, use the environment and your bat-rope to stay out of the path of their bullets. Unlike other games, the bat-rope is used exclusively to pull yourself to the ceiling. Fans of swinging will have to look elsewhere for their fix. Still, taking advantage of the level layout adds a nice bit of dimension to every situation. Getting past anything without taking damage is a thrill in itself.

The first four episodes are themed to coincide with each member of the Rogues' gallery. Episode 1 features The Joker and exploding teddy bear factory. Expect to avoid plenty of fluffy surprises while moving across conveyor belts. In Episode 2, you'll battle both The Scarecrow and Mr. Freeze. This is where Robin is introduced. He can climb across ceilings but has less health than Batman. A bit of a rough trade-off in my opinion, but it's still enough to deal with The Scarecrow and his jetpack-wearing goons. Now Mr. Freeze is when the cold realization sets in that this game does not play nicely. If you can make it past the squad of ice-gun carrying crooks, then you'll face the first of several tough fights.

The bosses in this handheld edition of Batman: The Animated Series are no joke. When you reach Mr. Freeze's lair, the worst thing you can do is immediately chase him down. He's got a freeze lazer ricocheting blasts in multiple directions and is also quick with his own cannon. Watch, wait, look for an opening. Both the timing of your jump and the angle of your approach have to be perfect. Any deviation will most likely result in a comedy of errors. If your rhythm is off, every attempt to pursue Freeze will leave you cold. Death is especially punishing in this game. There aren't any lives, and you get only two continues.

Just to be clear, the difficulty is set to an appropriate level of painful. This isn't another Return of the Joker (GB) where the simplest mistakes result in instant death. However, it's still very easy to string seven simple mistakes together, resulting in one dead Bat. Episode 3 starts off with a dangerous obstacle course and multiple run-ins with Catwoman. Try to adapt to her fighting style, leaping in to land a punch whenever you can. Poison Ivy's house leaves even less room for errors. There are a lot of ways to get hurt. While I would never consider this game cheap, it does little to dissuade the feelings of frustration and despair. Restoratives probably could've been a little more common or replenish more than three blocks of health.

Pushing the limits of "tough yet fair" is Episode 4. Mr. Riddler's base will have you running in circles and getting picked apart by enemies that refuse to die. Still, both his base and Riddler himself pale in comparison to what follows. The Penguin challenges Robin to a little game. Reach the top in 90 seconds, or it's Game Over. This is one of those sections where you're almost guaranteed to not succeed the first time. Navigating the jumps and spike beds isn't too bad, but a bomb can get in Robin's way at the least opportune moment, costing him so many precious seconds. Next up is a hallway packed with respawning birds that chase Batman around. This is just... relentless. 

Now, even if you conquer the Penguin and the ensuing Episode 5, there are still a couple of additional challenges. The hard difficulty setting makes everything do double damage to the heroes. Yeah, I'll have to pass on that. Otherwise, there is replay-value in playing for score. Each episode awards a time bonus, but first-time players will most likely end up getting nothing for the troubles. Consider shooting for that elusive bonus an extra incentive when you inevitably have to restart the game from the beginning. I mean, not that you have to. Save-states make any failure easier to swallow. Also, in all honesty, two continues is ridiculous. This adventure is tightly designed and executed superbly, but there was no reason to be that stingy with the extra chances.

Altogether, Batman: The Animated Series is a dependable game. It starts off almost innocently, allowing its players to soak in the atmosphere. Give it time and you'll discover it's tougher than studded leather. Each episode builds upon what came before, testing one's patience in a series of increasingly grueling scenarios. Despite it all, there is an element of fairness to every encounter. It just takes practice, and most likely a do-over... or several. Konami's insistence that two continues is enough strikes me as unnecessary padding. Whatever. It's a 30+ year old game. Give it as many continues as you need. Fans of Konami, Batman, and/or Game Boy should definitely make an effort to check this out.

Bat-Octoberfest - The Adventures of Batman & Robin (Game Gear)

Oh, my goodness.

I don't even know where to begin.

Well, maybe starting with a couple of facts will get the ball rolling. Developed by Novotrade and released in 1995, The Adventures of Batman & Robin is an interactive software product for the Sega Game Gear. Oh no! Robin has been kidnapped! Over the course of ten levels, the Caped Crusader battles the Rogues' Gallery and their henchmen in order to rescue him. Succeed, and the dynamic duo will be reunited. Fail, and who really gives a damn? Okay, fact time is over. Good thing too, because we're about to dive into one of those games. I'm talking not just bad, but that extra special bad. Anyone who dares to spend more than a few minutes playing this mockery is going to feel like they were transported to a realm completely divorced from all things sensible. A hostile realm where the clouds devour everyone who steps outside, and gravity turns the flowers inside out. 

First off, I can't comprehend how Robin was immediately kidnapped in his own game. Maybe it's not something that should be questioned. After all, there's been a hundred Legend of Zelda games, yet Zelda gets kidnapped in all of them. Okay, but seriously, I'm going to take an uneducated guess and say that at one time or another, Robin was planned to be a playable character. However, as we'll soon see, Novotrade must've ran into a lot of problems during the game's development. Robin got the ax, and his kidnapping was relegated to a single throwaway line in the intro. They didn't even have time to create some key art of Boy Wonder tied up or blindfolded with his shirt off. Anyway, his absence is the least of the game's problems. I'm just trying to set the scene.

Upon starting the game, I was immediately treated to what might be the worst controls in a 2D Batman game. There's a lot to say about Batman: The Arcade game and Batman Returns on the Genesis, yet neither can compare to the insanity I'm going to attempt to describe. The simple act of turning around is either instantaneous, takes a half-second, or Batman stumbles like he tripped over his own foot. I sincerely believe this is caused entirely by RNG. Whether or not he jumps when I press the jump button is also random. There's a double-jump but getting that to work properly AND land on the intended target is like trying to roll three 7s in a row. There's a special irony in that a company capable of making one of the first and best examples of controlling a dolphin in a video game could fail so spectacularly at a game about controlling a bipedal mammal. It really is shocking that so much of what I want Batman to do is governed by forces beyond understanding. 

I can't even pretend to be shocked that the camera won't keep up with what's happening. There are times when it actively refuses to show me what needs to be seen, and you know what? That's fair. I shouldn't be so hard on video game cameras anyway. They do so much, yet nobody is ever around to praise them when they're working perfectly. In this game, where the controls only ever work when they feel like it, my complaints about the camera just make me look like a worse person than I already am. 

Seeing as how we're dealing with a piece of entertainment media that has dysfunctional controls and an unresponsive camera, each level is designed to continually remind us of those issues over and over again. I'm saying that there are endlessly large stages with gobs of vertical platforming. There will be countless, and I mean countless times where the controls will fail, and Batman will fall. Sometimes, this isn't a massive problem. Other times, like in the Mr. Freeze stages, falling means redoing so many RNG-boggled jumps that I just wanted to lie down and take a month off. Just use save-states. A "legitimate" playthrough is a pipe dream anyway.

Ah right, can't forget about the goons. There are of course several of them dotting each stage, and they all respawn, because what the heck. Fighting is not nearly as clumsy as running or jumping, but it's still pretty terrible. The best strategy when dealing with regular enemies is usually just getting close enough that a mash of the attack button will put an end to them. With the rest of the game being what it is, you're unlikely to get past anyone without taking at least a little damage. Just... do yourself a solid and ignore it. Bosses are a bit different in that they're more durable and have some unique means of attack. Don't waste time trying to learn a pattern or whatever. Break out the special weapons and destroy the boss in seconds. If need be, you can get in their face and mash away. It'll cost a few lives, but it doesn't matter.

Yeah, I probably should've said this in the beginning: "It doesn't matter." Death in The Adventures of Batman & Robin is a mild inconvenience. Batman lies on the ground for a second, then gets right back up. He has nine lives, you see. Dying also places him in the exact spot where he bit the dust. If that spot was in front of a half-dead boss, then so be it. Continues are unlimited and you can even use passwords to save progress or skip ahead. There isn't a doubt in my mind that Novotrade reached a point where they threw up their collective hands, said "It doesn't matter." and did whatever they could to erase any semblance of friction. 

The fact that Batman's hurt-box doubles in size while he's running doesn't matter.

The framerate that hovers somewhere between 10 to 15 FPS doesn't matter.

In this game and this game alone, there's a difference between standing on spikes and standing in spikes. Only one of which actually depletes health, yet it still doesn't matter.

I try to throw an explosive at The Scarecrow, and he rolls into a ball like Samus freakin' Aran, but that absolutely doesn't matter.

It doesn't even matter when I'm trying to fight a toy plane and none of the projectile weapons do anything.

What gets me is despite how little anything matters, Novotrade were still thoughtful enough to place health restoratives in areas reasonably close to the boss battles. What was Batman Returns' excuse!? Swear on my everything, it's like the more time I spend with video games, the less I understand them. Anyway, I think there's nothing left to say about The Adventures of Batman & Robin. It's a total disaster. If you must experience at least one bad game in your life, then make it this one. The sole redeeming quality is that you can learn a lot from it and never have to worry about losing progress. 

Try it if you dare.

Bat-Octoberfest - The Adventures of Batman & Robin (Genesis)

In 1995, it was abundantly clear that the Sega Genesis was entering its final years. Both the Playstation and Saturn were in stores, with the Nintendo 64 not far behind. In spite of this, developers such as Treasure and Clockwork Tortoise Inc. were pushing the 16-bit console far beyond conceivable limits. Wait. Clockwork Tortoise Inc? Yeah, I uh... probably should've looked up the developer of The Adventures of Batman & Robin sooner. To be fair, they had only released two games before getting disbanded in 1996, both of which sharing the same name but are otherwise quite different. Today's look is the Run & Gun they developed, and it's quite impressive, if a little uneven.

The basic and I mean basic plot is that a handful of Batman's most notorious archenemies have busted out of Arkham. As Batman or Robin, you must take the fight to them over 4 stages, all of which are divided into multiple sections. Both heroes can also team up to form some sort of dynamic duo, provided of course you have a second player in your life. In any case, since this game draws inspiration from the likes of Contra and Gunstar Heroes, you can expect to shoot through hordes of goons, swarms of devious flying objects, and a wealth of massive bosses. 

Unlike some other Batman game, no hero is firing a gun. Instead, you'll be flinging batarangs, shuriken, or bolos at a fast yet strangely rhythmic pace. Letting go of the fire button for a brief moment charges up a stronger projectile attack. When close to enemies, the fire button becomes a punch button. It's a very elegant method for those context-sensitive situations. Punches tend to swiftly eliminate whatever they come into contact with, making up for their lack of reach & coverage. Absolutely do not forget about your jump-kick either. It has two angles of attack, though I figure you'll use them to dodge attacks more effectively; kicking whatever is in the way is a nice bonus. 

Rather than an attempt to design enemies that could appear in every stage, Tortoise opted to instead design henchmen that are villain appropriate. Since the first crook you'll be chasing is The Joker, his goons are dressed in clown attire and swinging crowbars like they're robbing every store in Gotham. Even the larger guys are in on the heist with their bulky sacks filled with ill-gotten goods. It's a nice bit of flavor that serves both narrative and gameplay. Most of the goons aren't armed with guns because they hadn't accounted for Batman showing up literally the second they started their crime spree. Dealing with their seemingly endless numbers, along with the occasional burly dudes and the few who brought guns, all while the towering city burns. I tell you, it's almost majestic. This game is a near-constant barrage of visual effects, and they're astounding. I could definitely live without the screen-flashes though. They tend to occur during massive explosions or when picking up the screen-clearing skulls.

Shortly after dealing with the first boss, the next enemy-type is introduced: little helicopters bearing a maniacal smile. In most cases, enemies tend to be either the kind that walk on two legs with hopes of battering & blasting the heroes, or smaller flying "popcorn" adversaries. Easy to destroy yet quick to overwhelm. It's here that the pattern of this game emerges. Each area is a straightforward slice of minimalist architecture and waves of baddies. Whether they're running or flying, you're always being pursued. You can fight all you want, but that health meter won't last. The pacing is a step below frenetic. It's clearly communicated when you should keep moving, and when you should take a brief moment to assess the next attack. 

The Adventures of Batman & Robin effortlessly juggles a multitude of pulse-pounding scenarios... for the first 15 minutes. If you're familiar with the game, then you already know that I'm about to discuss the shmup section. Utilizing the rare combination of a side-scroller with a topdown-perspective, this part of the game has our heroes blasting a myriad of airborne vehicles out of the sky. This section can be further divided into three parts. The first, where you're flying over the streets of Gotham, looks amazing even today. The third, where you attack Two-Face's giant air fortress, features a series of intense battles. Then there's the second part, the one I'd prefer to skip entirely because it's just missiles and helicopters and more missiles and a couple of jets and some more helicopters and a few planes and ENOUGH! For reasons unknown, Clockwork stretched this portion of the game out way too much. Seriously, it's 15 minutes. I've reviewed entire shmups that could be completed in that amount of time. 

While I could pretend to say that I hate dwelling on stuff like this, you know I'm lying because otherwise what else would I have to complain about? This is a prime example of a vehicle section that takes a good idea too far. Shaving it in half would've made an immense difference. There are other parts of the game that could use a minor trim. I'm talking like a minute here and a minute there. Mainly, I believe that there's a stellar 45-50-minute-long game here. Trying to push it past the hour mark is when the cracks start to appear. 

Before going any further, I have to take a moment to appreciate Mad Hatter's stage. From its theming to the level-design, this is expert craftmanship. It starts with a visually subdued yet mechanically intense backstage section, which culminates in a fantastic-looking Cheshire Cat boss. Falling further into this twisted Alice in Wonderland world, Batman hops across giant mushrooms and is then attacked by a giant toy that tries to hop on him. The following section as well as the Mad Hatter battle are just exquisite. I'd argue it's the game's peak...

...Which is unfortunate because that still leaves the entire last stage to get through. There's nothing outwardly bad about the Mr. Freeze portion of the adventure, but its highs are a little disappointing compared to what came before. Even on my first playthrough decades ago, I remember thinking that there had to have been a fifth stage or an ultimate final boss. Unfortunately, neither are the case. This isn't something to dwell on, especially considering the harsh constraints of game development. Still, I wish there was a better finale. 

Being slightly uneven and too long at points aren't nearly enough for me to dissuade anyone from checking out The Adventures of Batman & Robin. It is in every respect a stellar showcase of the Mega Drive hardware, and a really damn good game. There aren't enough words to describe just how phenomenal the Jesper Kyd soundtrack is. The way it syncs up with every throw of a batarang is a triumph of sound-design. Expect a stiff challenge, but don't be too concerned about potentially hitting a brick wall. Restoratives, extra lives, and credits are generous enough that players can make meaningful progress with every attempt. 

Absolutely give it a shot.

Bat-Octoberfest - Batman Returns (Genesis)

The Game Gear edition of Batman Returns was a fine game. I suppose that it could've been more ambitious. A few more stages and an additional, more difficult route likely could have catapulted it to a top-tier experience for Sega's 8-bit handheld. There's only so much time I can divulge to the "what could have been". In an era with so much licensed junk, a solid if unspectacular product can still be considered a win. Now I'm looking at the Genesis game. More ambitious? Yeah. More content? Certainly. Better? No. In the end, this is just my take, but a game that is simple yet dependable usually wins out over one that tries to push the envelope but continually falls on its face.

I don't want to be too reductive or dismissive of this attempt at a 16-bit Batman Returns, but it starts off on the backfoot with a rather confusing first stage. The general idea behind navigating each stage is to go right, but starting off on a roof-top with no clear direction isn't great. The indistinct, often muddy visuals don't do an effective job of signaling where the player should and shouldn't go. Then there's the second stage, which seems to resemble a building that is tilted to one side. A neat concept, but its execution is claustrophobic. Traps are oddly difficult to get around, resulting in an unnecessarily large amount of damage. Also, though the bat-hook is an essential tool for getting around, it's never 100% clear when it can be used. There was a section in stage 2 where I was stuck in a spike trap simply because I couldn't find whatever it is my bat-hook was supposed to latch on to in order to escape. Stage 3 hides pits behind foreground objects, and that's just plain rude game-design.

All that needs to be said about the combat is that every time I saw an enemy, an audible sigh escaped my lips. Fights are unpleasant at best. Unless I'm tossing batarangs or some other armament with limited ammo, my adversary is usually the first to land a hit. It's almost as if getting punched in the face is all part of Batman's prep-time. There probably should've been more restoratives in each stage. The final section of stage 3 requires the Caped Crusader to scurry up a series of small platforms while gargoyles leap on him. A courtesy heart would've been greatly appreciated before the fight with Penguin directly afterwards, but that didn't happen. Maybe I have to blame myself for expecting something that occurs in 98% of other action-platformers.

Yes, one could argue that I ought to try "getting gud", but I'm just trying to adapt to the game's flow, which apparently consists of getting tagged by an enemy or projectile that I didn't see coming until it was too late. Also, "too late" can mean the second someone is onscreen. It's all the more reason not to shame players who chooses to set Batman up with a stock of 7 lives before starting the game. Shoot, I did it and I don't care what anyone thinks. One additional perk of stocking up is that I feel less guilty about the fact that enemies don't respawn when Batman dies. What's probably most aggravating about the messy combat is that it's a waste of some imaginative enemies. There are fire jugglers who disappear under their hat to move around, kung fu clowns, clowns jumping out of mirrors, and of course gargoyles. However, just when I'm about to praise the game for its good ideas, it'll throw something obnoxious at me like exploding lights.

While batarangs can and should be used against common enemies, you'll want to hang onto your rare sub-weapons for the bosses. Homing batarangs are especially useful against The Penguin and his flying umbrella. Searching each stage for extra ammunition pays off, though it also means putting up with the dreary graphics and messy everything else for an extended period of time. Plus, I don't know what to think about the game coming up with new and funny ways of messing with me. One time, while walking across a train, a platform sprung out and bashed Batman. It felt like one of those "Ha Ha! You played our game, idiot!" pranks that got old decades ago. Oh, and of course the final act is packed with icy floors, instant-death pits, projectile-flinging goons, and holes that kick you back to the beginning. Isn't that hilarious? 

Eventually, Batman Returns on the Sega Genesis will end, but not before it takes a piece out of you that you might not be able to get back so easily. There are interesting sights, if you can actually see them through all the depressing despondent dreariness. Stages are designed to be either needlessly complex or just hallways full of baddies. It's difficult, but only due to poor balance and scenarios custom-designed to steal lives. The section where Batman has to escape a rolling ball comes immediately to mind. Then there's the finale, which is just endless misery. Although I persevered, all I got out of it were more memories that I'd prefer to live without. 

No thanks.

Bat-Octoberfest - Batman Returns (Game Gear)

Firmly in the "not bad at all" camp is Batman Returns for the Sega Game Gear. Yep, The Penguin and his goons are in need of yet another beating. This time around there are five stages of side-scrolling action-platforming action. Jump, swing, and bop the circus gang with your trusty batarang. It's a very traditional game, but the execution is solid as a rock, and you know I'm all about the execution. The soundtrack is provided by Motohiro Kawashima. To the surprise of nobody, it's chockful of bangers. If you've got an hour or less to kill, then give it a couple of play-throughs.

I'd say that this was the short review and to stick around if you want to read the long one, but admittedly I don't have a whole lot to talk about. If you've ever played a Shinobi game, particular the entries exclusive to the Game Gear, then you already have a pretty good idea of what to expect. Besides his batarang, which can be adjusted for more distance or power, Batman's main tool is the bat-hook. Swinging around or climbing onto ledges is handed quite well. It's easy to figure out while still satisfying enough to keep you engaged. 

The first four stages all have two routes to choose from. Consider them the "normal" or "hard" routes and take your pick. Mainly, the differences tend to be slightly more difficult platforming sections and new enemy types. It's a cool feature that I wish was expanded upon with either a third route or more stages. Each member of the Red Triangle Circus Gang has a unique method of attack. The most basic of the bunch will throw hands or fire bullets, while others get cute with somersaults or sliding everywhere like a Metroidvania protagonist. One of the reasons why I brought up Shinobi is that for most enemies, there isn't any contact damage. If you want, you can just bump into them and use the period of invincibility to walk on by. 

No matter which routes you choose, you'll want to take the time to explore each stage. I don't believe there are any huge secrets, but fluttering bats drop both hearts and bat-icons. The hearts do what you'd expect while the bat-icons add to your special attack stock. Using a special attack causes the batmobile or batskiboat to arrive, fire some weapons, and that's it. Huh... Now I'm reminded of Streets of Rage 1. Whatever. A... anyways, you'll want to hold onto every special attack you find. Then, when you reach the final boss, all you have to do is bash him a few times during his easy first phase, then spam special attacks to crush his next two phases. 

And... yeah... I think that's all I have to say. Batman Returns is a decent little romp. It doesn't have the replay-value to compare with similar titles on Sega hardware, but I had a good enough time.