Bat-Octoberfest - Batman Forever (Eternity rom-hack)

For today's review, I'm playing the Eternity romhack of Batman Forever, which will henceforth be referred to as Batman Eternity. Tempting as it may be to play the unaltered edition of a Sega Genesis "classic", I'm taking the path of less resistance. What this romhack does is it removes the platforming and puzzle elements from the game. Seeing as how the very thought of jumping over pits or onto moving objects using Mortal Kombat kontrols fills me with immense dread, these sound like appreciable omissions. If there's still time remaining in Bat-Octoberfest, then maybe I'll give the original a shot. No promises though.

Batman Eternity is a side-scrolling beatemup... Hmm... I'm afraid that's not quite right. The game is closer to a 1v2 or 2v2 fighter. Fighting alone or as a team, Batman and Robin must do battle with the Riddler, Two-Face, and their entire goon squad. I know I've talked about goons a lot this month, but these adversaries are the gooniest by far. Half of them are either masked-goofs who swing chainsaws or honey-mustard coat wearing goobers with flamethrowers. Admittedly, I'm not against the idea of an unserious brawler. One of gaming's many tragedies is that 1966 Batman never saw a belt-scroller. I just think they went a little too far in some places and not far enough in others. Fights often come off as a few dudes in cheap costumes stumbling into each other until someone hits the ground and fades away. 

Combat is... not great. 

I suppose I should start with the lack of impact. The "oomph!" that's supposed to tie everything together with a pretty bow simply isn't there. Punches land with as much force as balled-up handkerchiefs. Batman & Robin have a headbutt that looks more like they're leaning forward to give hapless thugs a peck on the cheek. At multiple points throughout the adventure, I saw Batman take literal chainsaws to the crotch and didn't so much as blink. Nothing connects. There's none of that tactile feedback that fires off the synapses in my neanderthal brain. The only move that kind-of works is the uppercut. Yeah, they didn't totally ruin one of the most satisfying moves in Mortal Kombat history. I guess that's worth a half-point in my (still nonexistent) rating system.

The controls are tolerable if all you're doing is fighting. Batman's various moves aren't fun to perform, but they're responsive enough to use during a brawl. Most of the time though, I relied on gadgets to survive. These are unlimited use and performed via special move inputs. If my firsthand experience counts for anything, the most powerful has to be the bat cuffs. My guess is that originally these were an unlockable of some kind, but the romhack makes them available from the beginning. That's fine by me, because they're one of the few tools that's useful for every occasion. Throwing the bat cuffs is as easy as double tapping forward and hitting C. Forward, forward C, ->, -> C, however many times it takes. Enemies can block the projectile, but it leaves them in block-stun too long to do anything about it. The second it connects I can hit them with an uppercut.

Going through the game using the same two movies like a day 1 Sub-Zero makes it sound awfully one-dimensional, but I'm just relating what worked for me. There's not really an incentive to try the other gadgets, which tend to do little damage or whiff entirely. More often than not, attempting to be the least bit creative results in Batman getting surrounded and pounded. In spite of their relentlessly corny attire, enemies have a large array of moves and will cram many of them into a sequence if they're allowed the opportunity. The heroes have rear attacks that are performed via back + an attack button. To me, they feel ineffective, like there isn't enough hit-stun. If only Batman or Robin could just grab both goons and knock their heads together like in Batman Returns on the Super Nintendo... I miss that game already. 

Each stage is essentially a series of arenas to do battle in. Most of the time, this just means a hallway or large room, perhaps with some objects to destroy for hidden items. There will be instances where the dynamic duo has to defend themselves near precarious ledges. Sure, knocking a henchman off a moving safe or into a hole is a quick means of eliminating them, but the same can and most definitely will happen to the good guys. I can see why the creator of this romhack gave players 10 lives to start off with. It's mind-boggling that the original game shipped without a continue feature, especially when lives are easily lost to bottomless pits. One notable arena has electric currents that must be leapt over, as well as subway trains. A well-timed use of the grappling hook avoids them entirely, which is actually pretty neat. Points for that.

All that remains are the bosses, whose most notable attributes are being just as inconsistent as their minions. Two-Face actually has some unique characteristics, including the chance to regain some health whenever he flips his coin. The Riddler is just a big joke. His first form is an inflatable muscle suit. Maybe it has some actual moves. I didn't bother to find out. The second form is hardly worth mentioning. Clearly, ideas were involved in the creation of the final boss, but he's beaten by bat-cuff spam just like everyone else. 

While there isn't a lack of locales to duke it out in, the repetitive and pitiful combat is mind-numbingly dull. I don't have any complaints with Batman Eternity. The author did what they could with the cards that were dealt. All of the cuts and changes were made to emphasize the game's best qualities. Sadly, its best can't even be considered good. I can't even begin to imagine how dire Batman Forever must've been, if slicing out nearly 30 minutes of it resulted in a much better product.