Some 40 years after its earliest incarnation hit the arcades, I've accepted that Q*bert might not be for me. Its concept is instantly approachable and the controls are solid, but I don't think we'll ever be on the same page. This is likely due to a core mechanic that's introduced after a few stages are cleared. At first, clearing a stage is as simple as hopping onto every cube at least once. Once becomes twice a little later, but it's still fun. My interest starts fading when the cube's color repeatedly changes no matter how many times Q*bert stomps on it. This causes stages to take much longer to clear. Not only does every misstep have to be corrected, but the same must be done for every step taken to reach that misstep.
Classic arcade games tend to have "walls" that prevent all but the most dedicated players from tying up a machine for more than a few minutes. The issue I have with Q*bert's wall is that it creates tedium. Call it a philosophical difference, but if I'm playing what is essentially the same stage over and over, then I need some permeance. If Pac-Man eats a dot, then that dot stays eaten for the remainder of the stage. Having to constantly retrace steps makes me feel like I'm in a temporal anomaly. I've lost sight of my goal, yet everything still wants me dead. Maybe it's not that deep, and I just think forcing extraneous steps on players is dead-end game design.
Anyway, my plan for September is to play and write about 27 SNES games. That's one for each letter of the alphabet. Super is a letter onto itself just because it's so damn prevalent. If you're wondering why you're reading a Q*bert 3 write-up from a non-fan of the original, then it's because there are no other games in the system's library that start with the letter Q. Before digging into the game proper, I have to give props to Realtime Associates for the control schemes they've devised. As fans are probably aware, the arcade game had a joystick that could only move diagonally. To emulate this, the developers implemented a default setting that allows players to hold the SNES controller... diagonally. That's pretty neat, but I think there's an even better setting. The one I chose maps the four directions to the four face buttons. It's flawless! Not once did I ever accidentally leap into the abyss. For the most part, my deaths were the result of poor playing.
While it's not the first entry to do so, Q*bert 3 sets itself apart from the original by featuring stages that vary in size and shape. There are 100 in all. While the gameplay remains the same, the diverse layouts create new challenges. Q*bert still has to contend with all of his old foes, and now they're joined by froggies and derbies. Frogs are slower to act than their reptilian allies, but they never leap off of the stage. When the paths narrow, getting around them gets quite difficult. Derbies (and perhaps other hats) move in fixed patterns, usually in areas that get a lot of traffic. Pipe cannons spit dangerous red balls, but only after turning twice. If there's one onscreen, expect to keep a mental count of when they'll fire next, or suffer.
Each stage has at least one or two qualities that help it stand out. Some of them are composed of small islands, and Q*bert uses the floating discs to travel between them. Although, this does remind me of the time when it jumped off a disc after arriving at an island and was immediately killed by a waiting frog. I think that particular stage (5-2) wasn't tested enough. I appreciate the willingness to try new ideas. The early-game pacing is also quite nice. Stages move quickly, and skillful play feels very rewarding. Why, this could have been an ideal game in the series if it hadn't stayed so true to its arcade roots.
After the 16th stage in Q*bert 3, the cubes change color every time they're landed on. I disliked this mechanic in the arcades, and it's even worse here. The only reason it worked before was because every stage had the same open layout. There was room to maneuver. This entry often features claustrophobic stages with very few routes. A lot of times, a retreat is necessary to avoid death, but that creates more cubes that'll have to be fixed. Hopping back & forth repeatedly to clean up every single misstep gets tiring.
Speaking personally, this game stretched itself past the breaking point by combining arcade mechanics with home-port content. Attempting to complete 100 stages in what one sitting, let alone in pursuit of a high score, is just not feasible when 84% of them are susceptible to problems that fall outside of the player's control. Yes, it's ultimately the player who decides where Q*bert goes, but nearly every step creates disorder. In the corner of one stage, there was a short scuffle as the player navigated their way around a frog or snake. They'll have to come back to that corner eventually, because its colors are all wrong. Again, every step taken to clean up that mess will create another. The issue is exasperated n narrow corridors where there's only one way through.
In the end, I may be a non-fan who probably should've kept his mouth shut and his hands off of the keyboard, but that can't prevent me from questioning Q*bert 3's logic. There are a ton of stages, and most of them grind to a halt the instant a less-than-perfect player has to deal with an unexpected situation. A lot of work went into creating all the new content, yet the game adheres to a core mechanic that's explicitly designed to keep it from being seen.
I don't get it.
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