Arcade Appreciation - Monster Maulers

The criminal organization Happy Droppers has bombarded Earth with psycho-mutation orbs! From this bizarre assault on nature rose six behemoths. Indestructible by conventional means, these gigantic creatures are poised to wreak havoc. They're so strange and powerful! The planet we call home teeters on the brink of annihilation! Is there anyone who can answer the call of heroism?! Well... yeah, of course there is. Earth's mightiest fighters - the Monster Maulers - have trained both body and mind for this fateful day. Do they have what it takes to save the world? Find out in Kyoku Sentai Dadandarn! 

Alright, very nice. I think I just exhausted my exclamation point budget for the rest of the year. 

But seriously, today we have another kick-ass game from Konami. I don't have to tell you that their output in the 1990s was totally insane. It was nothing but wall-to-wall classics that stretched to infinity. The basic premise behind Monster Maulers is that Anne, Kotetsu, and Eagle must square off against nine tremendous foes in a series of one-on-one - two-on-one if you bring a friend - fights to the finish. Since this is entirely a Player Vs CPU game, any approach is the right one. You can mash buttons until the credits roll, learn the ins and outs of every opponent to come out with counter strategies, or jump straight to that cheap shit. If you discover a technique that breaks the enemy AI or locks them down, then go ahead and abuse it. Nothing is going to get banned here.

Each of the three playable characters is controlled via a joystick and three buttons (light, medium, heavy). True to its nature, this fighter provides its heroes with a modest assortment of normals, command normals, grabs, and special moves. Blocking is as simple as holding back or down/back. Air-blocking is even simpler... because it doesn't exist. Be extra careful with your jump-ins because the opposition loves their anti-airs. While there aren't combos, you can often get away with landing an uncontested series of strikes or linking a kick into a throw. The point I want to get across is that the rules were thrown out the window ages ago. Both hero and enemy operate by a set of guidelines. Just because you block something that looked unsafe doesn't guarantee you a turn. Also, a handful of moves can exploit the enemy's tendency to perform anti-airs. A lot of the game will be spent learning and practicing ways to stay ahead of huge beasts that don't play fair. 

Sidenote: I just love how meaty the attacks look. The impact from every blow is nicely done. Throws and slams - particularly Anne's piledriver - are a serious thrill to perform. My one complaint is more of a character-specific issue. Instead of an air-throw, Eagle latches onto an enemy and throws some punches. It's a neat-looking move without a lot of practicality, as the punches do very little damage. Its only real usages are getting a knockdown and controlling space. Even a game dictated by guidelines respects a good understanding of fundamentals. Anyway, the rest of the attacks all look and sound great. The nine opponents having a totally unique look and move-list is also impressive. Konami injected a ton of personality into every facet of Monster Maulers.

If you want to crush Monster Droppers' schemes with the least amount of trouble, then Anne is your gal. Her standing heavies and mediums are great pokes. She has mid-air combos, which are invaluable against anything large or capable of flight. Shooting Star is the best special move in the game. It's hardly a contest really. Besides being an awesome projectile that can be thrown from any point in a jump, this also serves as a defensive tool to prevent Anne from leaping into her rival's waiting arms. Some foes have a greater tendency to reflect it than others, but even that's limited by how much agency Anne has during and after the throw. With the right timing and spacing, players can keep their turn while bullying their opponent. Anne's other special move is a button-mashing shock that's heavily situational but capable of amazing damage. Unless you have a problem with hearing "SHOOTING STAR!" a couple hundred times a game, this lady is the best choice for attempting a 1CC.

Kotetsu's best attributes are his dive-kick and psycho-crusher. I don't know if I'm qualified to call it a meaty but jumping and sticking one foot in a monster as they're trying to get up works surprisingly often. The psycho-crusher is incredibly versatile, though weakened significantly by the fact that Kotetsu is often vulnerable after performing it. Some enemies are all too happy to take a few hits if it allows them to land a big punish afterwards. Over usage of this move also seems to increase the possibility that the next hit Kotetsu takes will dizzy him. Even with its faults, I still think the psycho-mauler(?) is the second-best special move in the game... a distant second, anyway. Oh, and he has a fireball. 

Eagle is the most honest of the three heroes, and that's not really a positive opinion. His dashing uppercut is a good special. I never found a good use for his rolling special though. Its damage is just too pitiful. One of Eagle's better attributes is his crouching heavy. Use this fantastic poke whenever the situation calls for it. Otherwise, I'm not sure what's good about this guy. There's no doubt a ton of tech I haven't made time to learn, but it just seems like he struggles more than Kotestu and especially Anne. 

I won't break down every opponent, since strategies differ depending on the player and their chosen hero. Just get used to the first several games ending with a vicious beatdown. At its core, Monster Maulers is a series of fighting game bosses. As one would expect, the bosses have numerous advantages and are controlled by an AI that punishes inputs. Aside from the first - whom you're allowed to select - the order of opponents is random. If there's a creature that you struggle with, you might want to get them out of the way early. Of the initial group of six, I'll say that I've had the most trouble facing Slime and Centaur. Slime is incredibly evasive and often links multiple flying moves into each other. Centaur is just relentless with his pressure. Of course, I say this knowing that Anne has the least trouble with both. She can toss heavy Shooting Stars on top of Centaur to break his anti-air AI. Slime has it even worse, as Anne will trap it in a far standing heavy loop that's impossible to escape.

The remaining rivals are the Heavy Droppers themselves... and an army of killer robots. Yeah, the final portion of Monster Maulers mixes things up a bit. After clearing a wave of mechs, players will contend with Ducker. Yeah, this game loves its Gradius & Salamander references. Anyway, Ducker is a Fucker, the meanest of the mean. Besides its wide assortment of brutal attacks, this damned thing will grab someone the instant they land a hit. Most of the fight will be spent learning what NOT to do, and it's just plain grueling. I'm not sure why but defeating the damned thing doesn't grant a customary life refill. Having to face two waves of minions and a pair of bosses with one health bar seems like a "feature" Konami snuck in to wrangle more cash from arcade-goers. At least Mecha Gorilla and the Final Boss aren't nearly as rough as Ducker. 

Still, even with its end-game annoyances, I really enjoy Monster Maulers. The action is satisfying, and there's plenty of depth to each encounter. Doing whatever it takes to secure the win - especially if it's cheap - does a lot to heighten the stakes. Last night I achieved a single credit clear, and almost every fight came down to the wire. There's a link to the video below if you're curious. The 1CC run begins at about 1:04:11. Anyway, this is yet another Konami classic that deserves your time.

Super Nintendo Look - Cotton 100%

Life isn't easy for Cotton. She just wants to relax and eat willow candies, yet disaster follows her like a shadow. In Märchen Land there exists the wondrous willow grass, the main ingredient in a delicacy that has no equal. That's right! I'm talking about the Rainbow Drop. Without a doubt, a candy this tasty is reason enough to challenge seven stages of projectile-laden mayhem. Besides, it's not like the sweet-starved witch can refuse. Someone that looks just like her is causing trouble throughout Märchen Land and ruining her good name. Utilize Cotton's magical prowess to blast holes in cutesy creatures, rescue fairies for extra firepower, and perform lifesaving spells in this Super Famicom shmup by Success & Datam Polystar.

Since my previous memories of the Cotton series have been buried under a mountain of sludge, I'm going to attempt a fresh start. This means that my opinion on this entry isn't affected by some lingering attachment to an all-time favorite. With that out of the way, let me jump straight to why I don't really care for Cotton 100%. First up is the weird visual direction. I like the character designs and backgrounds, but the brightness is set way too high. Everything pops out of the screen, and that's not especially good for a STG. The blown up / overly saturated look ensures that I'll probably crash into a bullet or enemy if I'm not 100% conscious. This is very much a me thing, but I tend to do my best projectile-dodging when it's 4:00 am and I've just woken up. Shmups are usually the perfect games for broken-down insomniacs like me. However, when backgrounds and bullets share the same level of brightness, my eyes struggle to discern any difference. 

Fighting alongside Cotton is Silk. Her and her fairy friends serve as options, lending the witch additional firepower. Pressing the requisite button changes their formation, and holding the bomb button will focus their fire. Note that the bomb button just drops an explosive towards the ground Darius-style. Powerful explosives are instead tied to the spell button. The current formation determines what spell is cast, but I can't think of a reason to use any besides Barrier. It's a shield. It blocks a couple of attacks before disappearing. Even if it's supposed to drop in usefulness as players get better at the game, being able to take a hit without dying is huge. Usually, I wouldn't need an extra incentive to summon a dragon or whatever, but the alternative is a shield that actually carries over to the next stage if it survives the boss. Also, spell charges don't replenish on death, which provides even less reason to spend them on killing something a little more quickly.

Besides the number and speed of projectiles, the difficulty setting also affects enemy durability. This I assume is a form of punishment for my shield-loving ass. On Hard and especially Maniac, the popcorn baddies take as much damage as the average battleship. Since Cotton's weapon-level drops whenever she dies, momentum has a habit of swinging hard against her. She can't break through the frequent walls of fiends with poor weaponry. Maybe this is where the non-Barrier spells come into play. Personally speaking, tying enemy health to difficulty is just a bad idea. The weapons in Cotton 100% already suffer in terms of looks and impact, so having them do less damage just creates a shooting experience that's hard to enjoy. 

Also, the final boss is almost custom designed to leave me feeling less positive about the game than I was minutes before. Cotton has to be in the right place to bait the villain's lightning attack, otherwise she'll get backed against the "wall" and crushed. I get that the big bad needs something to set herself apart, but this particular move requires several lives to be sacrificed; all for an unearned light-bulb moment. My thoughts on the rest of the boss-fights waver between they're too weak to be noticeable and too gimmicky to be enjoyable. There's a tree (and squirrel?) mid-boss that requires an absurd level of pounding. One other mid-boss is a cakewalk unless its bees manage to escape. There are some others that I'm forgetting to mention, but it's hard not to when the absurdly bright visuals and flickering cause this shmup to feel like a bad dream.

I didn't intend to treat Cotton 100% so harshly. The controls and other important bits are solid. My biggest problem however is one that just happens to form into a giant hand that drags everything to hell. It's as if the rough visuals have bled over, causing me to look upon the rest of the game with additional disdain. My eyes hurt just thinking about a replay. 

Super Nintendo Look - Dragon View

In the minutes leading up to this review, I brainstormed and discarded a half-dozen introductions. Among the refuse was a brief history of Kemco, a once-held belief that a belt-scrolling Action RPG would be the coolest thing ever, and existential crisis #2,194. Ultimately, I settled for what I believe best summarizes Dragon View's place in history. It's a derivative product designed in a lab to massage the brains of those who spent a few too many years enamored with sword-wielding boys. If you close your eyes right now; you'll envision this game's entire story. A young warrior with a grand destiny must stop an evil wizard and rescue his girlfriend. Keep those eyes closed a few seconds longer and you'll likely point out that the evil wizard has a tragic backstory (that doesn't even begin to justify his heinous actions). As much as we plead with ourselves to seek out the new and inventive, there is something within us that exists solely to reminisce over and consume the reheated remnants of happier times. I can't hate Kemco, at least not more than any other business. Selling people video games that they've already played is how the industry works. 

It's a criticism faux pas, but I can't help but treat Dragon View as a chimera formed from the DNA of other games. Imagine Link to the Past, Zelda II, and a little Sword of Vermilion getting mushed together. Alex is the young idealistic warrior who must rescue a world plagued by random encounters. The first-person view and 3D graphics lend overworld exploration a unique feel. Important landmarks are connected by roads, but secrets tend to be buried in obscure locations. You'll know you're making story progress when somebody hands you a map to the next region. Upon entering a town, a battle, or a dungeon; the perspective switches to a side-view. In order to defeat the monsters accosting him, Alex can use his sword, the boomerang-like hauza, or spells. Dungeons are much more than rooms full of monsters. Some get really devious by using one-way doors or platforming challenges to frustrate heroes.

In short, there isn't anything here you haven't seen before. While the belt-scroller look is different, dungeons still play out exactly like Zelda. They're just a series of rooms with maze-like qualities and a gimmick suitable to the region. The shift in perspective doesn't add anything to the combat either. There isn't an extra layer of depth like in Golden Axe or King of Dragons. Most attacks are avoided simply by moving along the Y-axis. To their credit, enemies can hit awfully hard. Getting through the first few dungeons is a challenge due to pitiable health and resources. By the mid-game, however, players are liable to be over-equipped and over-leveled. This is when the doldrums set in.

Last year, I must've played through forty games about sword-boys doing sword-boy things. For the most part, I had a really good time. Unfortunately, Dragon View carries itself with a certain mundanity that's hard for me to stomach. The familiar is just too familiar and nothing unexpected ever happens. After trekking through a fire cave and then a region covered in snow, I really would've liked to see some place new. Maybe there could've been a mutated forest or the ruins of an advanced civilization. It didn't have to be original! I'd take anything besides a swamp or desert! Running through the exact same places as in every other action-adventure is just exhausting.

The worst part is that the overworld is just a chore to navigate. I know the game is sometimes referred to as Drakkhen II or Super Drakkhen, so there's no getting around the 3D overworld. It's just, if I'm doing exactly what I would've done in any other Zelda-like, then allow me some joy in exploration. Zelda II places important upgrades in obtuse locations, but its map is easy to move around in. Running through Landstalker's similar-looking forests doesn't get tiring because there's always movement and combat to engage in. Dragon View has a novelty that wears off in less than 15 minutes. Trudging through a featureless world at a single-digit framerate seriously had me wishing the game was more derivative. 

Although a commendable effort was made to provide players with helpful (if sometimes cryptic) NPCs, there isn't a good reason to ever go without a guide. Players are practically expected to find every HP container and equipment upgrade. An alternative exists, but it sucks. Let's say you reach the final boss at level 38. He's going to be an absolute tank at such a "low" level. If you haven't already found the secret hauza technique that deals decent damage to the big bad, then you'll either have to make the long trek back to its location or kill a couple thousand imps. I can't imagine why anyone would want a miserable end-game grind straight out of Ys, but maybe Kemco has data proving otherwise. They surveyed a bunch of gamers who collectively agreed that replaying the parts they hated from the Action-RPGs they loved would still be pretty cool. Yes, I know it sounds insane, but I can't just say "It was the style at the time." to describe every poor decision.

Ultimately, my issue with Dragon View is that it doesn't make me want to feel anything. Snore-inducing overworld aside, no part of the game dips below adequate. I just can't stand its uninspired world and empty characters. Everything is so... generic. The one word I seriously never wanted to use here is generic. I - I'm sorry. You can't see me right now, but I'm doing a my hands are tied gesture. This game could've had an isometric toilet-cam perspective. It'd still never be anything more than a tired replica. Like I said though, I can't hate Kemco. They manufactured my Playstation 2 memory card, and it never let me down.

Turbografx-16 Look - Magical Chase

Once again, predictable as always, I'm trapped beneath the blinding light of a blank screen. My eyes dart in every direction, hoping to settle upon a sight that isn't the definition of futility. Something has to be typed out. "If it sucks, it sucks." is the only encouragement I can offer myself. The days of a finished review meaning anything besides a miniscule sense of accomplishment are so far gone that they probably never existed. Nevertheless, there are few things uglier than total whiteness. It reminds me of the walls I'd stare at while waiting for someone to answer the door and take pizzas out of my hands. Oh, and that cursor! The way it sits in the corner just blinking away. I feel sick.

Today's reason for the turmoil is none other than Magical Chase. It's a game I keep wanting to attach an extremely unnecessary level of gravitas to, probably because the average copy goes for as much as $5,000. That might not sound like much in an age when money launderers seal Super Mario Bros. & Duck Hunt in plastic coffins and sell them to each other for millions, but... I've already given up on wherever I was going with this line. Point is that I can't look at Quest's lone shootemup without thinking it deserves a review that actually appreciates its value. My qualifications are owning a Coregrafx Mini and touching a Hucard once. Who am I to have opinions on a platform I've never truly invested in? Goddammit. The years spent in the retro community are taking their toll. I could cover a thousand games a year and still feel like I'm worth less than a CRT. Yet, the story continues, because it must.

So, here I sit, dead-center in the abominable maze, hoping for a single thought that my meager words can express. Let's try something basic: How do I feel while playing Magical Chase? Well, I guess I feel good. There is an upswell of pleasant feelings when I destroy the final boss. When it's just me and the game, things make sense. Maybe not life, but definitely some things. Much respect to Quest. They crafted a charming little adventure where not a single minute goes to waste. My one serious complaint, which I'll get out of the way right now, is that Ripple is a rather large target. Evading the many dangers that occupy Ripple's world is a little harder than it should be. Then again, having a shmup protag with a generous health meter and a small hurtbox would be overkill I suppose.

What you're looking at is a direct quote from Gley Lancer. It refers to the "Reverse" weapon-system. As you might recall, prior to starting the game, players choose a weapon-system that suits their style of play. Reverse is a shmup concept that I've struggled with since back when I played MUSHA for the first time in 1991. The main reason I wanted to do a Magical Chase write-up is because Ripple has a couple "movers" of her own called Star Maidens. The gist of it is that players can manipulate Topsy & Turvy to protect the heroine. Tapping button I when they're in a desired position will lock them in place. Players can set the Stars in front of Ripple to catch the majority of incoming bullets. Taking the first couple seconds out of every stage to set this up prevents a lot of headaches, but one still has to be vigilant. Enemies attack from every possible angle. 

While the Star Maidens can be directed to fire straight ahead, I believe that they're most effective in their alternate firing mode. This of course, means they'll shoot in the opposite direction that Ripple is moving. No doubt there are a ton of veterans who are already well-adapted to this style of weaponry. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, especially since it requires a higher level of patience and awareness. Combining offensive actions with defensive movements is really clever. The dichotomy adds complexity to each encounter. However, my divided attention means that messing up and eating a bullet is even easier. At least Ripple is built much heartier than the average prototype ship. Being able to devour bullets actually incentives me to learn how Topsy & Turvy work. Huh. I just realized something. If I shorten their names, they become T & T, or TNT. Is this a Working Designs joke that I just stumbled into? Ewwww.

What Magical Chase brings to the table is generosity. In the last 1CC playthrough I did, which wasn't more than a day ago, I must've screwed up a hundred times. Since healing items are usually easy to find or purchase, all those screw-ups were forgiven. Once I reached the final stage, I was able to lock-in and... screw-up an additional dozen times. This game gives its players a lot of room to grow, while avoiding the pitfalls of being too easy. Though, you may as well forget the first difficulty setting doesn't exist. Anyone who isn't playing on Bumpy or Rough isn't seeing anything past the third stage.

Still, even those who struggle with dodging will survive, as long as they're wise with money. Much like other shmups that feature shops, knowing what to buy makes a huge difference. Besides getting the coolest, most powerful weapon available, players would do well to upgrade TNT, Ripple's maximum health, and keep an elixir on standby. The best usable items (double-tap II) are the ones that replenish a couple hearts and provide a temporary damage buff. Keep a handful of both in Ripple's inventory and don't hold back when they're needed the most. 

The critters that accost Ripple come in various shapes, but their sizes stay relatively small. This aspect of Magical Chase gives it a more pronounced identity than the average cute 'em up. Mid-bosses & Bosses aren't gargantuan immobile creatures that take up half the screen. Oftentimes, they're little gremlins that fly around. Players can take advantage of this by continually positioning themselves just out of range. Later fights ramp up the intensity of attacks, ensuring that there's rarely a safe spot to sit in.

I don't think there's anything else to talk about. Magical Chase is quaint in all the right ways. All six of its stages, even the mid-boss-heavy finale, are sufficient and succinct. Its mechanics will require some practice to get a handle on. Fumbling the star maidens during a critical moment happens to everyone. Its lax attitude towards persistent screw-ups like me is really appreciated. When the game gets challenging, it does so in a manner that feels sensible. Give it at least one playthrough every couple of years, and maybe you'll get an extra 1% happiness in your life.

(Or you could play something like Cyber Core and lose happiness. It's your call.)

Game Boy Color Look - Blade

Blade is exactly what I like to see from a licensed game. A competent developer puts their expertise to work and delivers a unique product that's enjoyable to play. Yes, I just stumbled onto this Game Boy Color brawler a few days ago, but I'll be damned if I don't make it the center of attention for a hot minute. For those out there who haven't already checked Mobygames, today's Daywalker experience is the result of a collaboration between HAL Corp. and Avit, Inc. I'm unfamiliar with the latter's games, as several of them were niche. Like, we're talking Volleyball and Cyborg Volleyball niche. Still, my eyes were definitely caught after discovering that many of Avit's team-members were responsible for the classic Kunio-kun and Double Dragon games I grew up with. No doubt they'd do justice to a game about a cool vampire hunter who fucks up vampires.

Upon starting the game, you're given the lowdown by Whistler. The undead menace has bases all over the city, and you get to decide which locale to purge. However, I must suggest that you make Enemy Base 1 your first mission. The level is actually a determinant of the enemy's strength. All of Blade's attributes start at level 1, so taking out vampires of the same level is no problem whatsoever. If he decides to enter the Level 2 area, then he's going to sweat quite a bit. Level 3 is for everyone trying to ice skate uphill. Blade is adept enough to handle anything that gets thrown his way, but he'll have to work three times as hard to complete a mission. Also, the slightest mistake erases a huge chunk of life. Unless you're really confident in your abilities, save the higher-level locations for after you've gotten Blade some upgrades

Another reason to start with Enemy Base 1 is that it's the perfect introduction to the game's three modes of play. It starts with a shooting gallery. With gun in hand and unlimited ammo, our hero shoots down everyone that comes into view. There are a few key points to keep in point. Holding down either fire button produces a steady stream of shots, but it drastically slows the targeting cursor. You're often expected to sweep from one side of the screen to the other, as well as shift focus between the foreground and background. "Feathering" the button-presses should be enough to maintain consistent speed while inflicting damage. Later shooting galleries increase the enemy's numbers and reaction time. Break out the screen-clearing shotgun (both buttons simultaneously) when necessary. Its ammo is limited, but anything's better than taking damage. There are only a handful of shooting gallery stages, which is all right by me. They serve their purpose as both a welcome break from monotony as well as a chance to earn some easy cash. The unique control scheme and satisfactory shootin' are icing on the cake.

After clearing the immediate area of vampires, Blade is awarded some cash. This is dependent on various factors, including the number of destroyed enemies, and remaining special weapons. There's bonus money if you can get through a section without taking damage, but imperfectionists shouldn't stress too much. While cash is required to upgrade equipment and stats between missions, survivors should obtain enough to max everything out before the final mission. The expectation is that players will do just that, ensuring Blade goes from Ultra Badass to Ultimate Badass. Anyone seeking an extra challenge could refrain from enhancing their armor or serum (which functions as the time-limit). No matter the case, spending on Kung Fu should be a priority, since beatemup combat represents the bulk of the game.

As one would expect given the developers, the sections where Blade eliminates vampires with martial arts prowess take heavy inspiration from Double Dragon. The sideview even reminds me a bit of the NES games. By pressing the A button, Daywalker will throw a basic punch. If an enemy is looking exhausted, then the next attack will be a devastating kick. Through regular Kung Fu investments, players can learn to perform spin-kicks, screen-clearing throws, and more. The main point to keep in mind is that button-mashing is a dangerous game. Smarter enemies will block and punish accordingly. Instead of risking it all on repetitive actions, mix up your repertoire with parries.

With the push of the B button (and at least an inkling of timing) Blade will deflect an enemy's blow, opening them up to a quick & nasty combo. Tougher foes like Karate Masters or Werewolves often get priority when attacking, so there's no reason not to learn the parry. The window is generous enough that even if your best is just a guess, you'll still be right about 2/3rds of the time. A fair argument to make is that perhaps this technique leans too heavily in the player's favor, but I think it works for a superhero game. Let's be real here, even on his worst day, Blade is still motherfucking Blade. He's a hundred times better than some vampire chump, and that's reflected in his game. The parry enhances his martial prowess to a supernatural degree, yet it's also delightfully restrained. Players aren't required to spam it just to survive. Throw in the fact that it's always satisfying to perform, and you've got a kickass move that makes the beatemup action sing.

Most missions end with a 1v1 sword battle. It's here where my feelings lean closer to mixed rather than positive. The controls are fine, though a fair bit more complex than elsewhere. For one thing, this is the only time Blade can jump (B+A). He has a couple of mid-air attacks, but most leaps are for evading certain attacks or attempting to better one's position. There are quite a few sword techniques to play around with, but doing anything besides blocking is a big risk with little reward. Bluntly, success in a 1v1 is determined almost entirely by finding the right opportunity... and button-mashing. There are essentially four types of opponents: demons, ninjas, a robot, and the final boss. Demons are elemental, and quick to fill the arena with fire or ice. The best time to hit them is when they're landing from an air-attack. If you manage to knock them down, then start slashing as soon as they wake up. Not all strikes are going to land, but I can't imagine it mattering too much. An upgraded sword kills bosses with the quickness, so you're still very likely to win, even if you spend almost the entirety of the fight getting knocked around. I get what the developers were going for here, but maybe I've come down with an allergy to 1v1 sword battles in beatemups. They never seem to work 100%. 

Some parts of Blade come off as half-baked. The first Enemy Base, with its multiple detours to collect keys and special items, gives the impression that the game will have some adventure elements. It won't last. Walking from left to right and crushing whatever gets in the way is most-assuredly the norm. The enemy variety is pretty good for a licensed brawler, but too much of the 1-hour+ playthrough is spent in subways and sewers. Also, there's really not much decision-making. Whistler stresses it in the beginning of the game, but only because wrong choices lead to a final confrontation that may be too much for most players. Purposefully avoiding the intended route causes the enemy's level to increase, which only favors the maniacs. An argument could be made that entering a potential no-win state isn't half-baked at all, but rather the consequence of ignoring good advice. I just don't see it that way. To me, there should be a viable route to the end no matter what decisions the player makes... pfft! Hahahah! Yeah, I'd better save my ridiculous dreams for something besides an early 2000s licensed Game Boy Color product. What's here is good enough, honest.

All I have left to say is that I'm glad I took a chance on today's game. Blade fans, who've known nothing but disappointment since 2004, should check this out. Some of its ambitions go unrealized, but they hardly matter when the actual gameplay is damn solid. One day, I might even come around on the 1v1 fights. The execution isn't ideal, but from a technical standpoint they're really impressive. It's just difficult to discover the techniques that may elevate the game when battles end so quickly. 

Oh well. 

Zelda II Randomizer ~ Help! I can't quit this freaking game!

This is the page that I've dedicated to my Zelda II: Link is Adventuresome Randomizer playthroughs.

Run #1 - Basic random options. This took about four and a half hours to complete.

Run #2 - More advanced options. This took just under four hours. Ignore the first 20 minutes. It's from a failed run.

Run #3 - This time I got the ALLKEY earlier and was able to save a ton of time. There's still plenty of room for improvement though.

Super Nintendo Look - Super Adventure Island

It's Friday night and I'm on my usual bullshit: playing Zelda II randomizers. Either inspiration strikes, or my brain numbs itself into slush. After two or twelve hours, it finally dawns on me that I can throw down some words on an inoffensive game. Super Adventure Island is a spice-free and forgettable take on Hudson Soft's hop & toss series. Most gamers remember it for the funky Yuzo Koshiro soundtrack. Is there something else? Well, shit. I've already committed myself to writing a piece. Either I find something, or I talk in circles and call it content.

Master Higgins' girlfriend has been kidnapped again! Tighten up that grass skirt and embark on yet another rescue mission. This time around, there are five stages with four areas apiece. Go ahead and use those first couple of areas to familiarize yourself with what's new. It won't be long until you realize that the hero has given up running. The man jogs like he's gotten tired of his lot in life. Luckily for him, the areas have been squished to compensate; hardly ever approaching the lengths common to the NES entries. With everything being a bit truncated, one would believe that obstacles and enemies would be more common. Short and intense, yeah? Ehh. This is an early Super Nintendo game we're discussing here. Not a whole lot can happen without slowdown. Anyway, Higgins has one little quirk to be mindful of. The jumps he makes while standing still are never going to be as high as when he's moving. If you need a high jump, then press the d-pad in the requisite direction before hitting that button. 

As far as weapons go, Mr. Dude has two available to him. The differences between the hammer and boomerang aren't nearly as pronounced as before. I would've suggested that they're interchangeable if it wasn't for the fact that the boomerang is always the better choice. You see, weapon pick-ups can be stacked until three can be thrown at a time. They also turn into fireballs, because why not. Anyway, the ability to throw boomerangs in two* directions is just too good to pass up. Also, they have better distance and coverage. With hammers (or hammerballs), it's possible to throw one over an enemy's head if they're too close. Total Bummer! Super Adventure Island also has a tendency to place hammer pick-ups in spots where they're hard, or at least inconvenient to avoid. Sure game, just do whatever you like. Higgs-meister can coat a third of the screen in consistent, rhythmic blasts as long as he's at maximum boomerang power. Barring some exceptions, the most his enemies can do is struggle to find their way through the fire.

Weirdly enough, all the crazed animals that once ruled the islands of adventure are nowhere to be found. Snails, bats, pigs, foxes, and most notably, frogs have decided to take a vacation. Instead, there are an entirely new set of adversaries to deal with. Weird little shell-like guys sit and wait for someone to land on them. Walruses float along like hot-air balloons. Don't forget the penguins who charge whenever they catch sight of some fireball-chucking guy. Most of the time, these goobers only succeed when players get a little too comfortable. Dangerous enemies tend to have weapons of their own, or the element of surprise. Bug-likes attacking from the sky and tiny bugs that fly in a circle after their rest is disturbed can do a frightening amount of damage. Otherwise, I suppose the only serious threat are the bosses, and even then, the concept of consistency seems to elude them.

Five stages mean five bosses, so let's go down the list. First up is the statue. Immediately chuck fireballs up in his face and he'll be dead before his counterattack can reach the ground. Next is Octo-shell and... Alright, this one's got tentacles. It'll take some patience to find enough of an opening to land a hit and get away. By the by, failing at a boss kicks Higgsworth back to the previous area. It's a rather annoying method to replenish lost weapons, but not a huge deal. Third boss is a ride-along dragon. Most deaths to him can be attributed to falling through the end of his tail or getting sneak-attacked by the sudden lava flow that falls from above. Dying means replaying the most chill mine-cart section. It's a weird fight. Speaking of weird fights, Skeleboner with a lightsaber has one attack. Its hitbox lingers for an extra frame, you need precise jumps just to land a hit and not die, but the boss can be defeated in just a few hits. Then there's the final boss. If he's laughing, then he's going to jump when he runs toward you. Either you know about this, or you die to a seemingly unavoidable attack. His second phase is something either you'll either get on the first try or suffer greatly. It's a load of bleagh. 

Sometimes, I think the entire purpose of Super Adventure Island is to create a vibe for players to slide into. There's a specific flow to every area. All the player has to do is find and hold onto it, and don't allow anything to shake it from their grasp. The game is still challenging in the sense that every bit of contact is fatal. Besides that, however, series veterans so used to the beatings they received on the NES may wonder if the fight ever actually starts. Deaths almost occur by happenstance instead of a concentrated effort. The worst of it is when the game knows all its cards have been played, and resorts to the "I bet you weren't expecting this!" in order to steal a few more lives away. Still, at least I'm not playing Adventure Island 1. That has to count for something. 

*Sir Higgins can fire underneath him while jumping or swimming. Why do the hammers even exist? No, seriously. I know they're Adventure Island's thing, but... they kinda suck here. Don't even get me started on the skateboard. Damn thing barely exists.