2026 Special - Astalon: Tears of the Earth

Astalon: Tears of the Earth is yet another story in my strange relationship with video games. I heard the rave recommendations, read the glowing reviews, saw the game was heavily discounted, and gave it a purchase. "Wow! This seems pretty neat." I'd mutter to myself while acclimating to the controls. After that, let's just say that my whims got the better of me. The new game I just bought was immediately abandoned and forgotten. It'll be years before those whims that led me away from LABS Works Metroidvania would bring me back again. Well, better years than decades, right? At least there's still the illusion of a functioning society that might be interested in hearing about why this is a great game. Let's get on with the discussion before I get distracted by a spot on my bedroom wall that's less off-white than the rest.

In the year 21XX, a devastated planet Earth and its few survivors witnessed a bizarre calamity. Ancient ruins housing incomparable evils rose from the wastes. It didn't take long for more problems to occur. One of the few remaining sources of fresh water has been poisoned. Three heroes have taken it upon themselves to explore a nearby tower, intent on stopping the scourge that threatens to wipe out their village. One of them, a wizard named Algus, holds a secret. Due to his pact with Epimetheus, the Titan of Death, dying is little more than an inconvenience. If Algus falls on too many beds of spikes, or one of his allies eats too much fire, then they're merely kicked back to the Tower's entrance. Think of it as a split in the timeline and not the reversal of time itself. In terms of game mechanics, it means that all progress is retained when you die. 

Believe me, I'm not knocking your gaming skills. It's just that even if I ignored the death that's forced upon the heroes in the first five minutes of the game, there's no escaping the crushing jaws of inevitability. One of the gutsy design decisions that Astalon: Tears of the Earth makes is forgoing practically every traditional method of recovering health. There are no healing fountains or comfy beds. Unless it comes with a hot meal, a warm fire isn't going to do anything. Oh, and before you ask, Algus only cooks after specific events, so gorging is out of the question. If you want to feel the loving embrace of maximum HP, then... you have to die. That's just the way it is.

You might not be comfortable with such an arrangement, and that's fair. Video games have a tendency to create this "anything less than 100% HP is unforgivable" mindset. Speaking for myself, I'm the kind of gamer that would spend 4 MP to heal 3 HP. Perhaps it's because maintaining perfect health in a game is one of the only things I seem to have any control over in my life. This game exists, it's taken away something that brings me comfort, yet I'm okay. Algus and his friends have entered an entirely new area with less than 10 HP between them, but I'm managing. Now they've just entered a room that's filled with spikes and mini-bosses, and I'm feeling a little comfy. Let me say it right now: it's brilliant game design.

A lot of what makes Astalon: Tears of the Earth's approach to health work is found in the mechanics surrounding it. Inside the Tower are many fiendish creatures, all of which drop souls when they're slain. Epimetheus has a great interest in souls, almost as if they were currency. What if these souls could be exchanged for boons such as upgraded stats or new abilities? Makes sense, right? There is a slight catch, and its death. This is not a store you can just walk into. First, you die, then you shop. Think of it more as break, an opportunity to reflect on everything that led to yet another untimely demise. If Algus, Kyuli the archer, or Agrias the knight died to a boss, then perhaps they need more defense or attack power. Maybe it's a problem that doesn't have a clear solution, like the party entered a place that was overwhelming in its architecture, had too many locked doors, whatever. Sometimes, all you can do is rest, regroup, and go someplace else.

Level-design might be one of the toughest elements of a game to get right, but the pay-off is astounding. The Tower is a complex but never bewildering labyrinth. There aren't brick walls or convoluted puzzles, just the constant sensation of progress. Every room has value, because every room feels earned. Going the single-screen route works wonderfully because it creates a self-contained series of obstacles that's bolstered by the whatever condition the heroes are in. Each area is connected by a wealth of shortcuts, and discovering an elevator is like swapping saliva with an angel. Everything works in concert to take all of the sting out of death. I mean, I can't guarantee everyone'll feel the same, but not once did I ever grumble "Goddammit. Now I gotta do that part again! Goddamned son of a fucker shit ass-" after getting kicked back to the Tower's entrance. The fact that all of the rewards are useful shouldn't be overlooked either. Everyone can use a +1 attack, a +5 health, or a bell that switches heroes with the press of a button.

Oh, ohhh... Yeah, that's another potential sticking point I could've discussed sooner. The heroes all have strengths, weaknesses, and specialized talents. You weigh the strengths and weaknesses before confronting enemies, but you need the talents in order to overcome particular obstacles. Astalon makes it clear that you'll be spending a significant portion of the adventure without a convenient means of switching the player-character. If there's a location that Algus can't reach, then run to the nearest camp and switch with Kyuli or Agrias. At least a third of the game's runtime is played under this limitation. It just works. Dead serious. Mainly it's because each hero has a different playstyle, but not to the point that it feels like relearning how to play. Agrias swings his sword like he's Adol in Ys III and Kyuli is a demon at long-range. They're designed to fit specific playstyles in combat, but the rigors of running and jumping remain the same. Their similarities in movement make getting around a breeze. Of course, that all changes when most of the traversal powers have been unlocked, but you've (hopefully) found the bell by then. 

I will say however that most players are going to lean on Algus for boss-slaying duties. Each hero is more than capable of handling themselves in a climactic battle. However, the wizard, already devastating at mid-range, will discover a "main character" buff that gives him an edge over his compatriots. It might just be easier for him to realize his full potential, and replays would unearth some boss-obliterating tech available only to knights or archers. Testing that theory probably won't happen until at least New Game+ though. Maxing out stats requires a ton of souls, and the best grinding location is found after almost every big bad is big dead. I'm not even going to bother discussing the other two characters. They aren't weak, but they are late. Still, it's definitely worth the trouble to seek them out, and not just because it's required to finish the game. Exploring the tower is so much fun that I welcomed everything and everyone that allowed me to see more of it. 

Above all though, I'll say that the way Astalon: Tears of the Earth approaches death is something worth studying. Death is... freeing in a way. When opportunities to recover are practically nonexistent, what can one do except embrace inevitability. Now I'm not saying dying is good. It's more about making the most of the remaining life. Maybe I'll get a little bit further: Unlock a shortcut. Collect a valuable item. I might even shock myself by defeating a boss! Well, a mini boss, at least. I can't work miracles. By taking away what has comforted me through so many other games, this has given me reason to rely on myself. Sometimes I forget that I'm capable of doing a lot with very little... as long as it involves playing video games. 

Arcade Appreciation - Metamorphic Force

Metamorphic Force chronicles the story of four brave men who inherited an ancient power that allows them to unleash the furry within. Choose whichever guy who stokes your coals and get ready for six stages of hack & bash action. Forgive me, but this is going to be a bit of a weird belt-scroller to describe. The impression I get is that Konami just wanted to make another X-men but couldn't secure the license. Seriously, put both games together and you'll notice dozens of similarities. Everything from the late 80s comic book character-designs to how everyone walks or punches feels like the X-sequel that never got a chance to grace the arcades. I probably shouldn't use the word sequel though, because there isn't nearly enough here to warrant the usage of the word. Strictly speaking, there's less content here than in the previous game. The cast also suffers from unrealized potential. There's personality in everyone's basic attacks, but super moves are just the Nightcrawler-esque "flies around the screen destroying everything". Still, there's some fun moments, like the guy with the log who uses his bear form to sit on opponents. *

I should probably explain the central mechanic. At first, each of the playable characters start off as humans, relying on their fists or weapons to battle anthropomorphic aggressors. After a short time, they'll stumble over the first of many gold statues. By grabbing this power-up, their forms will be altered, becoming more beast than man. Bestial warriors benefit from enhanced strength and agility, but in truth, it's not something that significantly affects how to play the game. To put it another way, the human form in Metamorphic Force is roughly equivalent to the ghost form in Avenging Spirit. Sorry, let me put it another 'nother way: if you're not covered in fur, then you're probably close to dying. Both the health meter and power meter replenish or deplete at roughly the same rate. Also, a fellow with puppy dog eyes appears frequently, and he almost always has a golden statue in his sack. 

Bear in mind that there isn't some enormous power gap between the human and beast forms. Even without claws, the heroes can waste their opponents in as little as three hits. This is a clever move on Konami's part, as it ensures that bad circumstances can still be recovered from. However, I can't imagine anyone aside from maniacs ever skipping out on the beast form, simply because that's what makes the combat sing. Instead of raw power, a lot of the beasts' strengths come from having enhanced range, as well as a greater degree of mobility in both their ground and air attacks. The hit feedback and animations are also extremely good. There's less impact than genre titans like Final Fight, and that's fine. Instead of focusing on singular hits, the developer opted for short strings and quick flurries. It's designed to emulate the ferocity of a wild animal as it ravages its prey.

While Metamorphic Force does suffer a little from having less-developed characters than its predecessors, I appreciate the refinements it brings to the core game design. Controlling someone and attacking whatever opposes them feels uniquely unnatural. Yes, this is a positive opinion. What I mean is that certain aspects of the combat are very loose, almost as if Konami wanted a beatemup where attacks have a statistically higher probability of landing than any other beatemup out there. If your proximity to an enemy is anything approaching reasonable, then the next press of that attack button is going to do some damage. Grappling is also very simple. You don't even have to push the d-pad / stick towards the manimal you want to grab. The simple act of throwing creates a generous hitbox, so you don't have to worry about a nearby enemy getting a hit in after you just sent his buddy on a one-way trip. 

Even with all of their advantages, I still must advise players to never underestimate the opposition. The lowliest (and greenest) lizardmen don't do much besides laugh at misfortune, but they are deadly with weapons. A few guys with spears will erase a life meter. The difficulty never reaches the absurdist heights of Turtles in Time Arcade, but with every passing stage, enemies increase in number as resources dwindle. Survival eventually comes down to managing large crowds and neutralizing threats with immediacy. As for the bosses... You can probably get away with underestimating a few of them. 

A topic that often comes up in beatemup discussion is the presence of "adds" during boss battles. A lot of these guys (or gals), impressive looking as they tend to be, are at least aware that one-on-one fights are never in their favor. How does the saying go? Never fight alone? That's not a saying. Whatever. The point is that unless the boss is an incredible talent, then they should never fight the player on equal terms. Bring a couple of friends to distract, annoy, and eventually destroy. The guys (and gal) of Metamorphic Force aren't anywhere near skilled enough to compete with the player who can just walk up and grab them. They're not inept. The 4th boss has a grab range that'd make Street Fighter 2 era Zangief jealous. Boss #5 has an ass that kills in three hits. They are outmatched though. This rift creates a difficulty imbalance that's noticeable, but not a huge deal otherwise. Newcomers are still going to see a lot of their virtual coins get eaten.

If my "originally an X-men sequel" theory has any basis in reality, then it's a miracle that Metamorphic Force was #1 finished and #2 damn good. Stomping on multiple beast-folk while listening to banger tunes is a lovely way to spend multiple afternoons. The long-term depth might be a little lacking, but there's still enough of a difference between all four characters to warrant multiple playthroughs. The ease in which one move flows to the next, allowing players to solve several problems at once; this serves as proof that simple yet satisfying combat still goes a long way. Plus, it's not like I can complain about cheap bosses eating all the credits, right?

*Gross. I must've used "there" a gazillion times in that first paragraph.

Stomping in this game rules. 

Steam look - Rocketron

Metnal 28 is under attack by the Congregation of Gogoh! Rocketron corps are fighting valiantly, but even they can't stop the cultists' onslaught. In order to quell this insurrection, Argo Express has sent in the ultimate cybernetic warrior. His name? Rocket Musket.

... Actually wait. That's the name of his gun, which can also be classified as ultimate! Boasting unlimited ammo and weapon-switching capabilities on par with a small army of MCRs, Rocket Musket is the future of warfare. With gun in hands and jetpack on back, the cyborg B.L.A.M. will explore six areas, battle Gogoh's endless hordes, and avoid some sawblades.

|        |        |

There it is again, the damned blinking cursor. Of all the reviews I could've written, this is the one I wanted to sidetrack the least. ASTRO PORT is known for making consistent quality games that incorporate elements that are too-often overlooked. Gigantic Army is one of the few shooters to carry the torch for classics like Cybernator and Front Mission: Gun Hazard. All of their products include a wide range of difficulty settings that do more than just shift damage values around. This review was supposed to be just another look at a very good Contravania, but- oh, hang on. I have to explain another dumb term I just made up. Rocketron is a run & gun with search-action elements. Hallways full of dangerous mechs, unlimited ammunition, and some non-linearity to facilitate exploration. Sounds neat, right? 

|        |        |

You don't have to answer that. There are times when I'm so down that I have to fabricate a kindred spirit, so they'll encourage me to keep writing. These past however many years, it feels like the only regular contact I've had with anyone are insurers, mortgagers, and mechanics. Part of the reason I became a critic was the mistaken belief it'd help me meet more people; developers, other critics, etc. Instead, it's been nothing but silence. Close to a decade of voluntary work burned me out, yet I returned; knowing full well that nothing is going to change. I'm an automaton with a lifetime of customer service experiences and a voice that's as loud as the lone flea on a St. Bernard. My purpose has always been to give. I'll get squished if I protest, and who'll be left to write these nonsensical reviews?

|        |        |        |        |        |

This game is effortless in both controls and execution. B.L.A.M. has an almost floaty mobility that contrasts nicely with his jetpack. It takes some getting used to but really adds to the game's flair. This cyber human is no doubt constructed with heavy armor, giving him weightiness and momentum not found in beings of flesh and bone. I figure that most players will be able to adapt within minutes, and they'll have to. A common obstacle is beds of spikes, and irresponsible jetpack usage will send the protag flying into them. Still, there's a sincere belief in my heart that having the controls work this way adds an extra level of satisfaction to every dodge. Avoiding bullets by measurements too small to be described is a constant joy. 

However, just because the Rocket Musket has an eternity's worth of ammo and a wide of gamut of shot-types doesn't make it immune to limitations. One of the more interesting limitations is durability. If the player takes too much damage while the shotgun module is enabled, then it becomes unusable until enough healing items are recovered. In other words, those who favor certain playstyles are expected to play extra carefully. Depending on its durability, a module can be lost in two hits or less. This can lead to situations where boss strategies change mid-fight. Adaptation is a constant, because there's no perfect weapon.

The drill does come kind of close though. At first, B.L.A.M. uses this to carve through clearly marked walls, but he'll soon discover that it obliterates enemies. Of course, the tricky part is having to get close enough to risk eating several flavors of projectiles. Its durability is infinite though, and the game wisely strays from contact damage (the exception being the tiniest bots that explode on impact). There's what could be described as a DOOM-like essence to how weapons work. Drilling is one of the quickest ways to destroy something, but it requires knowing the full extent of an enemy's capabilities. The difficulty setting affects how often they fire, so micro-adjustments to one's approach are a constant part of the game. However, relying heavily on powerful projectile weapons that can be undone with one bad move is also a risk. I can imagine not every player liking this mechanic, but I think it helps keep Rocketron from being just another "hold the fire button while dodging stuff" escapade. 

Another interesting feature is how upgrades are handled. Weapons, as well as health and running speed, are all upgraded with crystals. These are placed in numerous locations; yet only occasionally in the player-character's path. Choosing where to apply crystals - or use them at all - can add further dimension to a playthrough. It helps to keep those 100% runs from being too easy, since one can just opt to ignore their rewards while still overcoming the challenges necessary to reach them. \

|        |        |

I can't think of much else to say about the game. It's quite well done. The level-design consisting mostly of long enemy-filled hallways works much better than it normally would. This might be because of the emphasis on running & gunning. Rushing through adversity as it explodes in a fiery blaze is in itself a thrill, and there's a decent variety of both mecha and traps to keep one's attention. The level-design is consistently straightforward and plays to ASTRO PORT's strengths. There's a slightly annoying amount of backtracking though. Comes with the territory I suppose.

|        |        |        |        |            |            |        |        |    

That's all I've got. Until next review!

2026 Special - Panzer Bandit

Explaining Panzer Bandit is not going to be easy for me. It's Mad Stalker: Full Metal Force and Asuka 120% getting into a head-on collision, and I'm not remotely familiar enough with either to make an educated analysis. All I can give you are my thoughts and opinions, worthless as they tend to be. Fill in Cafe created a brawler that's fascinating to explore. Mechanics are piled on top of other mechanics, turning otherwise mundane encounters into an eclectic series of interactions. It has its problems, but none of them dissuade me from giving the game a wholehearted recommendation. A unique identity goes far in this overstuffed genre.

In order to explain the basics of combat, I have to begin with the most deceptively simple move: the jab. Pressing the X button repeatedly when next to an enemy will perform a short "magic series", but there's more to it than that. When two attacks connect at the same time, they clash. Repeated jabs are the most efficient method to winning clashes, especially if the opponent used an attack with a lot of recovery. However, it might take more than one hit to create a combo opportunity, as breaking out of strays is made easy with the Square + X heavy attack. Jabs by themselves also do very little damage, so chaining into strong attacks, specials, and supers is important. Even with these limitations in mind, jabs are still the core of anyone's gameplan. Take advantage of their speed and versatility whenever possible. The ease in which they're chained together can lead to better hi-scores as well. 

Another strong move is the throw. It doesn't do a ton of damage on its own, but the priority is absurd. Players willing to take the risk can grab the opposition out of anything. One example that springs to mind is the normally devastating supers that are performed with R2. This technique - which requires a full gauge - releases orbs of explosive energy that home in on nearby foes. If one is able to grab the enemy immediately after they perform a super, then they'll avoid almost the entirety of the blast. Throwing multiple baddies at the same time also works... somehow. No really, walk up to a duo or trio of mooks and toss them away. It's like the programmers found a bug, realized it actually kicks ass, and just left it in. Some characters (like Miu) get an extra exciting piledriver. It's always a treat grabbing someone out of the air and slamming them into a crowd.

In order to keep players from juggling all opposition into oblivion, there's a point when hits stop connecting until an enemy can touch the ground and recover. This is a good feature that incentivizes players to learn high-damage combos instead of linking a dozen plus jabs. I think most combos end after the second wall-bounce or launcher. It's hard to pinpoint exactly, but players will develop a sixth sense for optimal combos soon enough. Besides, enemies are typically training dummies. Some have annoying quirks, like grunts that are always trying to jump over the heroes to land a sneaky back-attack, though that also makes them susceptible to air throws. The most dangerous fodder can be found in stage 7. You'll know them when you see them, because they'll be tossing bombs in your face. As for the bosses... Well, they're an entirely different story, but that's a story for a little bit later.

Part of what makes Panzer Bandit so fun to play is its mobility. Fans of double-jumps, super-jumps, jump-cancels, back-hops, and everything in-between will have plenty of gravity-bending goodness to play around with. The ground-game is no slouch either. Heroes can dash through attacks, ensuring that the enemy's personal space will be invaded no matter the consistency of their anti-airs. Nobody feels weak to use either. Ein doesn't have Kasumi's incredible agility, but his guns and bombs have excellent range. There's support for a multitude of playstyles, yet none of them come at the cost of the game's identity. Playing fast, loose, and natural is rarely this appealing. 

The first seven stages are just different backdrops for the action to take place in. I mean, stage four has enemy-filled minecarts to knock around, and you can go left or right in stage 2's sewer section, but that's the extent of the "level-design". It's not a huge deal. Guardian Heroes had similarly flat stages, right? Of course, that brawler also had a half-decent selection of enemies to contend with. Bashing a series of hapless bots never truly gets old, but I think there should've been a couple mid-level adversaries; robots that don't need superior numbers to do some damage. That might've helped to bridge the gap between the weaker shmucks and skilled elites.

Bosses in this game are 1v1 fights against warriors that are just as talented as Kou and his bandit crew. Their AI is consistent with previous Fill In Cafe games (read: slightly overtuned). Expect to work harder to find openings. Mistakes are often punished with heavy attacks that have a lot of range. Not even the first boss can be underestimated, because he'll hammer his opponents with a barrage of gunfire and missiles. Towards the end of the game, bosses start taking the forms of huge mechs, all with hyper-armor. This can get a little obnoxious for characters like Kasumi, since she needs to land a couple hits to get momentum on her side. Oh, and expect that normally large supply of health to evaporate if the heroes get nailed with a big combo or super move.

The jump in difficulty from mooks to bosses is odd, but not a significant problem for every stage besides the last. It's rare to reach a boss with less than at least 3/4ths of a health meter, and the crew enter each new stage in pristine condition. Okay, so what's the deal with the last stage? It's a boss-rush. Players must defeat all eight bosses with just two healing items. This is not a great time. Most of the villains have their HP cut in half, but they still hit just as hard. A few wrong choices are all it takes for the continue screen to pop up. A series of fights that range from slightly tough to awfully rude is not the best way Panzer Bandit could've ended. Perhaps it's just something that needs a chance to grow on me. Also, some characters seem to have much better luck than others. Senka has a fire geyser move that'll chew through cornered opponents. If I thought the word unbalanced had any meaning here, I'd use it. 

A rough final stage is the biggest complaint I have about the game, and admittedly it's not that huge a deal. Sure, it'll blow up all of my 1CC attempts from now until the end of time, but I'll survive. The large roster of playable characters as well as a scoring system that revolves around huge combos more than make up for a last stage that didn't get enough tweaks. There's plenty of excitement in ruling the battlefield and watching coins explode from the enemies whilst they're being pummeled by huge super moves.

Computer Games

Here's a convenient list of every PC / Steam / GOG / etc. game I've covered on this blog.

Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore

Astalon: Tears of the Earth

Astrolancer

Axiom Verge 2

Banzai Pecan: Last Hope for the Young Century

Beekyr: Shmup for Experts

Belle Boomerang

Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain

Diadra Empty

Dink Smallwood

Disillusion

ElePaper Action

Freedom Planet 2

GyroGunner

Kitsune Tails

Megacopter: Blades of the Goddess

Metro Quester & Metro Quester | Osaka

Monster Sanctuary

N.P.P.D. Rush - The Milk of Ultraviolet

Phoenix Force

Realms of Chaos

Record of Lodoss War: Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth

Rocketron

Sword & Bones 2

Tomomi

Toziuha Night: Dracula's Revenge

Wife Quest

Steam Look - Metro Quester & Metro Quester | Osaka

Today's look is at another "comfy" game. For real, wandering the post-apocalyptic subways of Tokyo while fending off mutant beasts is like a warm blanket and cold pillow. Metro Quester takes the dungeon-crawler formula and then strips away the extraneities. Its uniquely minimalist visuals are paired with a streamlined UI. Anyone out there who likes to cast healing spells or sip revival potions after a battle might be disappointed, because those features are among the many that are automated. Your party also decides which monsters to target, so all you have to do is outfit them and issue commands. It's a system that doesn't require undivided attention but is still just as compelling than any other great RPG. Also, it's perfect for someone who has a lot of music or podcasts they'd like to listen to, but is still obligated to get some game-time in. Hm... I think I might've written myself into a corner with this single-paragraph review. Where could I possibly go from here?

Part of what makes Metro Quester work is its suddenness. With barely a starburst wrapper's worth of story to hold onto, players are thrust into a world that's surrounded by "death". I threw in the quotes because there's not a hint of permadeath to be found. Dead parties are transported back to the base and given another chance. I'm aware there's a somewhat more significant punishment if they fail to bring in enough food after 10 days of adventuring, but it would require a tremendous effort on the player's part to make that happen. But yeah, the immediate goal is to scrounge up some food and try not to die too often. It might not sound like a big deal, but keep in mind that you didn't get the opportunity to decide on a party, let alone get them any decent gear. The general idea behind Quester is that you make do with what you're given. Besides life and death, there aren't any guarantees, so all you can do is adapt to whatever you find.

With that in mind, let me tell you a little about my party. Over on the far left is Gotz. He's mobile police, a job that specializes in carrying shields and managing hate. In this game, hate is arguably more important than hit points. Battles are going to fall apart if the weakest party members keep getting targeted. You'll need someone like Gotz drawing the monsters' attention and protecting the party from noxious gases or other ill effects. Next up is Haruka the detonator. I'd call her a pure DPS machine, but DPS doesn't make sense in a turn-based battle, does it? Anyway, load her up with swords or heavy weapons. Dob-Rock is a Buddhist, though I'm sure that means he treats it as much more than a mere occupation. His skills are in healing, but he'll crack some skulls if you give him a large enough hammer. Scientists like Tsuya use drones to rain bombs, napalm, or poison on their enemies. Careful though, because they're hate-magnets and predictably squishy. Finally, there's officer Ekko. Give her a couple katanas and watch the decapitated heads pile up. I'd say that almost everyone who starts a new game will be given a similar crowd of misfits to lead. Bases located throughout the abandoned metros could be housing other recruits, so the starting party is never set in stone. 

Some other jobs you might want to look for include stealers. Besides being good at hurling a shuriken the size of a manhole at monsters, these young opportunists have a better chance at breaking into safes than anyone else. Don't sleep on their talent for hiding. They'll duck behind the nearest mobile police, giving them the bonus hate required to keep most creatures from targeting the adventurers who aren't dual-wielding shields. Rangers are top-tier killers if you can find the right equipment for them. I knew a lady who had an anti-tank rifle for each hand. By the way, all but the largest bosses are vulnerable to instant-death. What can't be killed in one shot can still be severely weakened by paralysis, debuffs, and much more. If you have a specific build in mind, and the equipment to facilitate it, then you can expect some fantastic results. 

Like I said though, this isn't the dungeon-crawler for micro-managers. Once you've found a strategy that eliminates the enemy with ease and without casualties, then feel free to stick with it until it stops working. Eventually, there'll be a monster party that requires a shift in tactics, just not so often that it'll interrupt that podcast or the 12,000-hour lo-fi hip hop playlist. Although, I'll go ahead and *spoiler warning* mention that the final boss will most likely require a significant amount of extra work. That can mean changing characters or farming the single gold safe that has a very small chance of containing legendary five-star equipment.

New Game+ is implemented in a very clever way. Players are allowed to carry over 60 of their most treasured items. The catch is that they'll be hidden in random patches of mud, sometimes awarded via progress, and generally spaced out so that the party isn't crushing everything in an instant. Additionally, enemies receive boosts to their attributes, so foolproof strategies of the past will likely require some tweaks. Defeating the final boss again isn't the end either, as players are offered to challenge NG +2, 3, and... I want to say it goes all the way to +6, but I never got that deep. Functionally, it's still the same map with the same monstrous inhabitants, which will tire out all but the most dedicated. 

Metro Quester | Osaka

If you just look at the bullet-points, Quester's sequel sounds like more of the same. There are new characters to recruit, a larger array of weapons & accessories, additional monsters, and rivers that have to be navigated with a canoe. However, once you start digging into its depths, you'll quickly discover that it's so much more. The developer took all of the feedback they received from their previous game and used it to craft a great dungeon crawler. 

At the beginning of the adventure, a mystery AI girl is going to ask questions about your starting party. New players should probably stick with the recommended party, as they're balanced to handle practically every situation. However, if you've gotten this far, then what's the harm in spicing things up a bit? One of this entry's standout features is the increased viability of parties that don't adhere to the 1 tank, 1 healer, 2 attackers, 1 utility standard. As long as you're willing to put in the work, then just about any class combination can conquer post-apocalyptic Osaka.

Directly above is what the game refers to as "The Ladies' Tea Party". You're already familiar with Tsuya and Ekko. They're joined by Natsume, Mikasa, and Sasuke. Natsume's talents as a Buddhist include zombie powder. This is one of the strongest, yet most situational healing techs in the game. It's a party-wide revival. Provided you have the resources and your timing is right, recovering from a horrific attack is instantaneous. Mikasa and Sasuke are both Rangers. You can arm them with melee weapons, but it's guns that'll unleash the demon within. Mikasa with a sniper rifle is frighteningly powerful. The creatures she hasn't already decapitated will be trying to fight with basketball-sized holes in their heads. Give Sasuke a good shotgun and he'll carve through multiple enemies like hot bullets through butter. Mikasa also has a chance to recover from death. 

In order to make this heightened level of player-expression possible, Metro Quester | Osaka added several new accessories. Many of these offer abilities that were originally locked to specific characters or classes. For example, the Journey Stampbook clears a portion of ailments the party is suffering from at the end of every round. If you can obtain one, then you won't have to rely so much on healers or tanks with special shields. The only real limitation is resources. Most anything that isn't a stick or a stone requires drugs, explosives, bullets, batteries, or gadgets to operate. During boss encounters, I often relied on Tsuya to make drugs while everyone else attacked. Her healing abilities scale with the supply, so anything short of an obliterative AOE was easy to recover from.

Unless you're rolling with 3 Mobile Police and 2 Buddhists, battles are always going to be a sprint. At around the halfway point, powerful weapons become increasingly common. If one or two of your characters were struggling to find their niche before, then their fortunes (as well as yours) are all but guaranteed to change. Crushing end-game foes becomes the new normal. With the right setup, not even the final boss will survive more than a few turns. Since the "right setup" involves numerous top-shelf pieces of equipment, some farming will be required. The drop-rates for **** & ***** items are higher than in Metro Quester, so don't expect to farm for long. This is just one of those games that wants you to be overpowered.

Though the map is tougher to navigate, especially with rivers placing a larger strain on fuel reserves, I'd say that on the whole it's an improvement over the first game. Each area is a little more intricate in its design and there aren't as many huge mud-fields taking up space. Food is spaced out a little bit more, so take a couple of days to farm as much as the base needs. Although, much like the first Quester, I'd be astonished if anyone failed to gather enough food. The time limits aren't remotely as strict as other games with survival elements. 

Metro Quester | Osaka is a fantastic sequel. Giving players complete freedom to build their ideal party was a masterful change. The ludicrous selection of new weapons and accessories allows for some close-to-broken setups. That said, it doesn't take much for the opposition to get the upper hand. Much like before, New Game+ increases the enemy's strength, and only the most hardened are liable to make it to NG+4 and beyond. I also can't praise the minimalistic approach enough. Limiting the visuals to portraits, menus, and a quaint overhead map makes this such an easy dungeon-crawler to get addicted to. 

2026 Special - Realms of Chaos

Endrick and Elandra, siblings who have mastered the arts of sword and sorcery, embark on a quest to restore order to the realms. This is Realms of Chaos, an action-platformer that was originally released during the heydays of shareware. I have fond memories of that time, even though I could never afford to play past the first episode of any game. Decades later, I've somehow obtained almost the entirety of Apogee's classic library. I say somehow because the games were most definitely purchased, but I can't remember when or how. Managing a Steam library with nearly 1,800 titles is a bit troublesome. 

Anyway, I had to stretch the rules quite a lot to fit this throwback into the 2026 Special. The deuteragonists are sword-swinging Endrick and fireball-flinging Elandra. Swapping between hero and heroine is a mere button press away. This is important, because neither character can save the realms on their own. Elandra's magic is essential to defeating the final boss, but every casting costs gems. The hunk of metal that Endrick wields isn't powered by floating collectibles and is better for spongier foes. However, there's stiffness and delay in every slash. You're better off roasting agile monsters. Altogether, I'd say that character usage is a 55/45 split. Endrick gets a slight edge because of his larger health meter. Just keep in mind that the game is over when either sibling dies.

The chaotic realms that you'll be exploring are filled with all-things typical of the genre. Leap from moving platforms to cross beds of spikes. Climb ropes and search suspicious walls for secrets. Spend gems on power-ups that vary wildly in effectiveness. Yeah, this is one design-decision I have questions about. Part of it is because I don't value some power-ups as much as the development team. The magic shield sounds nice, but it sits too close to the player-character to be reliable protection. Buy it if you want an occasional bat-swatter. Temporary invincibility could be cool if the screen wasn't enveloped in an eyeball-searing effect. Really, all you need are the weapon power-ups, because they gift damage increases that last for the remainder of the episode. Find them or suffer to bosses (and some enemies) that have too much HP.

Like just about every other PC game of the era, players are allowed to save whenever they please. For Realms of Chaos' first episode, I treated this feature as a lovely convenience. That changes significantly in the second episode. I'm not sure what happened, but level-design goes from decent to dreadful towards the back half. The second-to-last stage is several mind-numbing hallways populated by monsters of exceptional tankiness. About 2/3rds of it consists of dead-ends and useless power-ups. Bizarrely, one of the exits is false and will send you back to the beginning of the stage. Past that is a vertical corridor with moving walls designed to smoosh adventurers. The one instance that really highlights how frequently players are expected to save is presented as a choice. If the player goes left, then they fall in a death trap. There isn't any indication that left is the wrong way. 

I suppose I shouldn't complain so much, because cheap deaths in short stages where players make their own checkpoints is far from the worst thing I've dealt with today. However, I absolutely have to mention the Stone Golem. Episode 2's end-boss drops rocks that fall quickly and randomly. His boiling saliva is overly tricky to jump over. I actually had to create mid-fight saves when I lucked into a pattern that didn't chew through my duo's already meager health-bar. For a game likely made by fans of NES platformers, they really dropped the ball here. This pile of stones is aggressively overtuned for the game it appeared in.

After the mess I was just subjected to, I went into Episode 3 fearing the worst. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that it was mostly pleasant. Sure, there were annoying jumps. One of the final challenges is a snake-like moving platform (think Super Mario World or Battletoads) that could've gone a lot worse than it actually did. I cruised through the last episode and its bosses with ease. Well, relative ease. Instant-death spikes and knockback-inducing enemies are still as potent as ever. I'm still very perplexed as to why Episode 2 turned out the way it did. Normally, I'd write it off as just me adjusting to the game over an extended period of time, but the truly obnoxious aspects of episode 2 aren't seen anywhere else.

Realms of Chaos is a fine little adventure, or at least it would be if half an episode wasn't perplexingly awful. Still, if it means anything, having the worst part of the game be towards the middle instead of the very end is pretty chaotic.

"Omigosh!"