Turbografx-16

Here are the links to every Turbografx-16 & PC-Engine game that I've covered on this blog,

Batman

Bonk's Revenge

Cadash

Cho-aniki

Gradius II

Lords of Thunder

Neutopia

Neutopia 2

New Adventure Island

Super Air Zonk

Valis II

Valis III

Ys Book I & II

Ys 4: The Dawn of Ys

Arcade Appreciation - Denjin Makai

Previously, as in like 20 years ago, I talked about Denjin Makai II: The Guardians. A classic beatemup that more than makes up for its relative lack of difficulty with an immense array of playable characters, excellent controls, and fun mechanics. Its fluidity allowed players to link special moves together, leading to all sorts of wild combos. I'd go so far to say that this was Winky Soft realizing their full potential in the belt-scroller genre, leaning into their strengths to craft something that has thrived for decades. When I say thrived, I mean people still play it, not that the developer is still around or- hang on a moment while I check Mobygames. Oh! They were the Super Robot Wars developer! That's really cool, very- I'm sorry. If you could see my face right now, it'd look like the face of a person who has never played a minute of Super Robot Wars. 

Anyway, let's jump backwards to 1994, the year of the first Denjin Makai. This is exactly what I expected from a developer with a lot of promise, yet hasn't quite found the direction they want to go in. The main point I want to get across is that this is an uncut gem, with just the right amount of grime. There are six playable characters, all with impressive though not always unique move-sets. Rather than choosing someone who suits your playstyle, I'd suggest going with whomever has all of the "right moves". To avoid further confusion, I'll go ahead and suggest Makai. He's the guy who's highlighted the instant you start the game.

I'm not suggesting that there's a tier-list or anything of the sort, but some fighters are easier to adapt to than others. Makai's special dash-attack is a projectile, his jumping down-attack is an elbow drop with a meaty hitbox, and his "super-joy" is a nice spin-kick/sweep combo. I'm just going to mention it now. While I will use common beatemup terms like super-joy and magic series, I can't really think of them as such. It's just a term used out of convenience, because there are limitations to these particular techniques that aren't commonly seen in other beatemups. More to the point, like its successor, each character has a separate gauge that drains whenever they perform special moves. The super-joy is considered a special move, so it doesn't cost health to use. However, it doesn't have invincibility, and you're not breaking out of a combo no matter how much you mash attack + jump. 

Also, I hate to put it like this, but the magic series isn't all that magical. At least as far as beatemups are concerned, the magic series is when you press the attack button a bunch of times, and the character does a little combo. Punch, punch, elbow, kick, whatever happens, it does some damage and knocks the opponent down. Basic stuff. Denjin Makai has this, but it's not something you can rely on in most situations. After the first couple of attacks in a series, your chosen hero is going to stop for a number of frames before resuming the rest. Now, let's replace the words "a number of" with just one, "enough". Enough time passes between the first couple attacks and the rest for an enemy to interrupt you and dish out some damage. If you want something resembling a guarantee that every strike will connect, then try hitting the enemy from behind or giving yourself a little distance.

Popcorn guy is just aghast at the weird sex acts going on nearby.

Whether or not that was intentional, Winky Soft was cooking something with a delightfully bitter taste. Limiting the effectiveness of the magic series forces players to operate out of the comfort zone, relying more on special moves and grabs to deal with the gobs of enemies that are regularly thrown at them. Of course, specials require meter management, and finding those moments to recharge can be quite difficult. Grabs aren't free either. Provided an enemy doesn't grab the player instead, there's a pretty high possibility that anything more than a simple toss will be interrupted. Basically, you have a lot of options, and none of them are amazing. It's far cry from Denjin Makai II, where everything you do is amazing. 

The griminess extends to pretty much every interaction with enemies. Beatemups, even the kind found in arcades, tend to operate under some guidelines, if only to keep players from feeling cheated. I'm not going to call this unfair, because after just a few attempts, I was able to make decent progress on 1 coin*. Mainly, what I'm saying is that you really can't take anything for granted. If an enemy is facing you, then you have to do whatever it takes to hit them or get out of the way. If you don't react before they walk up to you, then there's going to be trouble. Tells are practically nonexistent, even for attacks that you'd sincerely believe would have them. The lizard creatures have electricity attacks that are long-range, and they'll just perform them on a whim. No charge-up, no audio cues, just *ZAP*. L-Gigante is a tall dude with sunglasses. He loves dropkicks so much that he'll a big step backwards - which usually places him offscreen - only to make a humongous leap, nailing anyone distracted by the 5 or 7 other guys they're trying to fight. 

We were put here on this planet to suffer.

It never gets any easier, especially in the final stage. Killer Dolls and War Knights are common enemies who punishes any magic-series user with a full combo. They've also inherited Donovan's uppercut, so have fun jumping in on them. Grunts most mundane can't be allowed a moment's respite either. They have this hop kick that looks out of place, yet it's one of the most devastating moves in the game. Since I've got Streets of Rage 2 on my mind, I'll just the hop-kick is the equivalent of Galsia's knife. Me, you, and everyone else is going to be struck by it a hysterical number of times. 

And yet, it's all doable. A lot of what makes this uncut gem shine is that it gives players just enough agency to adapt. Yeah, fighting a whole crowd of devilishly capable minions is rough, but if you can keep momentum on your side, then it's not that hard to crush them. Use every technique to its fullest extent and focus on whomever is most likely to cause problems. Neptune, the 4th boss, has a lizard buddy that's more dangerous than he is. Don't write anyone off because of the size of the health meter. They're a problem as long as they're standing. If you can't keep everyone on the ground and sufficiently pummeled, then target anyone hopkicking or dropkicking. It makes a big difference.

Denjin Makai isn't as polished as its sequel, and that's fine. Some might even prefer that it emphasizes fundamentals over style points. There's much more of an incentive to play smart, but in a way that's akin to controlling the battlefield rather than finding a safe corner to spam special moves from. Not that such a thing would be possible anyway. Players are expected to master the entire moveset, taking advantage of whatever can give them the slightest edge. Something like a down-attack that hits more than once can play a big part in survival. There's a bit more chaos to every encounter, but I think that's part of the appeal.

One last thing. There's a scrappy upstart energy to this beatemup that's worth exploring. Even if you don't 100% vibe with how it plays, still take some time with it. I believe retro games made today are a little too interested in being throwbacks. A lot of people want to make tributes to the classics they grew up with. Cool. All I'm saying is that... Actually, just make whatever the heck you want. If this critic had anything meaningful to say, he'd have gotten a paycheck for it sometime in the past forever.  

*I say this like I can remember the last time I spent anything on an arcade machine.

2026 Special - Warrior Blade

Play enough belt-scrollers and you'll start believing that there's always going to be invisible wall, and it'll disappear only after all your enemies are dead. I expected this one to be more of the same. Slash, stab, or whip through a dozen fiends, then a disembodied female voice tells me to "Go! Follow this way." Business as usual, yeah? Actually, no. I could've moved on at any time, but I chose to stay, continuing the slaughter of everyone that came towards me. 

Warrior Blade is the final entry in Taito's Rastan Saga. For once, this is not a tale of brave heroes standing up to seemingly insurmountable odds. Rastan, Sophia, and Dewey are little more than thieves. Rumors of legendary treasures has led them to the island of Depon. Unfortunately for them, the trio found far more than they bargained for, as their meddling has stirred up ancient evils and long-dead warlords. Master the ways of the warrior or suffer in obscurity in 10 to 14 rounds of hack & slash action.

First off, I have to say damn! I just love how epic this game looks. The dual-screen setup and huge sprites make for a heck of a spectacle. Really, it's one of those games that's a required play simply because there's hardly anything else like it. Sound direction is also very inspired. Alongside the bangers produced by Zuntata, the usage of multiple languages adds a ton to the atmosphere. Strangely, the most common noise - besides the clashing of weapons - is an odd little sound heard the instant after an enemy's dying scream. I'm not sure what it's supposed to be, and now it won't get out of my head.

Since this is the 2026 review special, let's turn our attention over to Sophia the whip-slinger. Out of the three playable characters, her range rating is the highest. It's nice I suppose but forgive me if I can't stop lusting over Rastan's power rating. While looking through old guides in the hopes of finding a hidden technique that will give Sophia an edge, I daydream about the barbarian's flamberge laying waste to everything in two or three swings. Then while playing, I struggle to come to terms with a whip that requires three or more hits to kill someone. In a game like this, having to make an extra attack ups the possibility of taking damage, something that nobody can afford.

Since there's only one life, managing health requires 100% of the player's attention. Healing potions appear in most stages, but other more common forms of restoration require additional effort. After completing stage, any accumulated treasures are converted to health. If you're not cracking open crates and skulls, then your long-term health will suffer. Of course, fighting close to ten enemies at a time - all of whom are capable of attacking from any range - has its own troubles. Grabbing and tossing foes is a decent method of crowd-control, but not always applicable in a given situation. Someone might even stab the protag while they're recovering after a throw! Sophia has to rely on range and mobility to stay one step ahead. Keep a good distance and never get surrounded. Easier said than done, but that's the life of a thief. Also, if it looks like the enemy is about to swing, don't get cute and try interrupting them. Just get out of the way. Taking stray hits is NEVER a worthwhile trade-off. 

Prioritizing threats has been a part of the belt-scroller since the dark ages. If fighting is their intention, then it's something everyone has to master. If you see several armored guys carrying weapons, then make note of what they're wielding. Flails are very dangerous thanks to their deceptively long range. If someone is carrying a javelin, then they'll most likely attack from afar. A halberd means that they'll try to get in a quick stab. Common sword & boards shouldn't be underestimated either. One nasty trick these soldiers like to do is swing at air. Don't be too shocked when you inadvertently walk into this attack. The variety of enemies is on the low end, but Taito did a good job of making everyone dangerous. 

Or you could just run away. 

Warrior Blade is all about risk versus reward. Besides one or two instances, literally nothing can stop you from running straight to the boss battle. Ignore the enemies, skip the treasure, forget about the coins nestled in the enemies' pockets. Run, never look back, and live to run another day. This is something you can learn as early as the introductory stage. Destroy the monsters that you see and more will appear. I think there's 14 or 16 in all. Now, if you run past the first set of foes, reach the end of the stage, then turn around and kill them. Congratulations! You cleared the first stage with just 4 kills. Don't expect a prize. Play Night Striker if you want a pacifist bonus. 

By choosing to avoid encounters, the possibility of clearing this game without continues will shoot through the roof. The catch of course is that your hi-score's suffering will be immense. There's really nothing wrong with choosing survival over glory, but that's not how an arcade-goer's mind operates. Stay and fight! What's one coin compared to endless treasure! Before long, the urge to obtain a score that'd impress the hall of champions has taken over. This is about the time when the bad fortunes strike.

You caught that part about 10-14 rounds earlier, right? Of course you did. I just like saying these things. On a serious note, a "bad fortune" is an extra stage that potentially leads to legendary treasure. It's basically rank control. The more enemies you kill, the more gold you steal, the better the chance that you'll be rewarded with more opportunities to die. Locking a third of an arcade game behind rank is an incredibly forward-thinking idea for 1991. Although, if you prefer, there's a dipswitch that enables all 14 rounds regardless, so players are free to experience the entire game. 

I'm starting to think I've forgotten to discuss something and... uh... oh! I nearly totally forgot about the boss battles! Firstly, I must give credit to the development team for making every boss a memorable one. They all look and sound fantastic. However, I have to point out that almost all of them are easily dealt with. For some, 90% of the strategy is standing in the right spot, and the other 10% is mashing the attack button. Now, I don't want to take too much away from these fights, because they're still an intrinsic part of the game. One long and particularly draining stage ends with a boss who attacks with difficult to avoid spirits. You'll be in for a bad time if you arrive with low health. Most of Warrior Blade's combat depth is found in regular encounters, and I think it works rather well. The final boss being kind of a chump if he's attacked from behind is legitimately great. Just watch out whenever he jumps really high.

Along with the bad fortunes, a lot of Warrior Blade's replay-value comes from choosing the order of the four main areas. Each location has a treasure (potentially two) that gifts its owner a permanent boon. Completing the Ship provides a boost to defense. An increased attack speed is given to anyone who braves the volcano (which itself is an optional area of the Castle). However, as areas are cleared, the enemies are replaced with stronger variants. The aforementioned Castle's treasure does weaken them, but the player must decide when to obtain it. Remaining health also plays as a factor, since some areas provide more healing opportunities than others. A full-heal item appears after the score reaches a certain point, so it's another factor to consider when deciding on a route. It's always a pleasure to see Taito get inventive with arcade games. I'm reminded a little of Cadash, which created a unique spin on traditional Action RPGs by having a time limit. 

Still, I wish that Sophia was just a little stronger. Having a longer reach is nice, but someone who can get a quick kill will always have better luck surviving. She does have a fun move where she winks, stunning the first person (or creature) in her line of sight. I'm not sure if it's viable in a pitched battle with a huge crowd though. Maybe I should dig through the Mikado Game Center archives and see what super players were doing. My guess is that they're playing safe and using plenty of special attacks. 

Warrior Blade brings a lot of great ideas to the hack & slash formula, and its top-notch presentation still holds up today. I'd say to check it out however you can. Take some time to play with as much bravery or cowardice as you like.

You can throw enemies into pits or let them get killed by traps, but it won't help your score.

Steam look - Megacopter: Blades of the Goddess

Back in the 90s, Electronic Arts put out a series of helicopter games for 16-bit consoles. Desert, Jungle, and Urban Strike utilized their unique perspective and arcade/sim design to deliver a series of difficult combat scenarios for players to overcome. Multiple times I've tried them, and multiple times I've failed horrifically. It happens. Someone makes a game that isn't for me. Not the end of the world. Anyway, the series was a decent success, garnering a dedicated fanbase that's still around today. One of those fans even went so far as to create an um... I can't quite call it a homage. It's more like a springboard. Megacopter: Blades of the Goddess retains the Strike ideology, but then mutates it into something that... Well, let's just say that it also isn't for me.

The world is in danger! Mankind's last hope is Jack. An ordinary pilot with an extraordinarily low chance of survival. Luckily(?) for him, the vehicle he's piloting is none other than the Megacopter. This abomination was the result of ancient AZ-TECHnology and countless human sacrifices. As such, its standard arsenal of machine guns and rockets is backed by powers that are not of this world. Simply tapping the A button while holding a direction will perform an evasive dash. Having a fine method for escaping bullets is cute, but real devastation requires blood orbs. Destroyed enemies have a chance of dropping an orb, so be sure to swoop in and grab it with your crane before it disappears.

Picking up ammunition and armor with the crane was a common sight in Strike Series, and that's retained for this game. In fact, both titles are structured similarly, with the player being tasked to destroy enemy structures or rescue civvies. They're often heavily guarded, and reinforcements are never far behind. Blades of the Goddess also features pizza tokens and hearts. Gather both to upgrade equipment and AZ-TECH powers.  

Where these helicopter-games try to align is in the combat. Enemies will attack from both ground and the air. Destroy enemy soldiers or artillery with the right trigger, and drones or helicopters with the left trigger. The quasi-isometric perspective makes it pretty easy to keep track of the action. Getting kills is a different story, since it relies on somewhat finicky aiming controls along with weaponry that's designed for precision. Strafing around a group of soldiers is simple enough but gunning them down requires more skill, and potentially multiple attempts. I mean, it makes sense for a game with simulation elements. After all, a killing machine shouldn't be too good at killing.

However, what truly separates Strike Series from Blades of the Goddess is that the latter is trying to create an arcade/sim/arcade sandwich. Taking cues from golden age shmups, this modern shooter adds a lot more bullets. Almost all of these projectiles move at danmaku-lite speeds. Depending on the circumstances, you could see as much as 40% of the screen get cluttered with tiny orbs of damage. Usually, I'd say death instead of damage, but Megacopter has enough armor to take a beating. Its size is still a problem though, because it has little trouble catching quite a lot of whatever the enemy is throwing its way.

There's a very real disconnect between how players deal with enemies, and how enemies deal with players. Reptoids don't have to think about where they're aiming or running out of ammo. They shoot in the general direction of the helicopter, and maybe they'll land a hit. Meanwhile, the helicopter has to ensure that they're targeting what they're trying to destroy, and they have to carefully manage their ammunition. Each weapon also has a recharge time, so there's no scenario where holding down the fire button does anything worthwhile. To me, this is like trying to play Operation! and Dodonpachi at the same time. I have to doublecheck that my gatling gun can kill one little soldier while his buddies and anything else in the vicinity blast away without a care.

In these ugly situations, the AZ-TECH powers can be really useful. That likely won't happen until the mid-to-late game though, because grabbing blood orbs with a crane in the middle of a heated battle is a crazy bad idea. Instead, save up those hearts to unlock the "grab orbs just by getting close" power. Then, you'll want to grab Obsidian Strike, because it temporarily disables all enemy equipment. It'll make surviving the fortified zones so much easier. One of the more enticing (and early) powers turns Megacopter into a whirlybird of destruction... but you'll drop it the instant you fly too close to a turret and get shredded.

Still, even when it seems like I'm playing Blade of the Goddess the right way, I'm not having a lot of fun. Here's me, piloting a kickin' rad helicopter and blowing stuff up, but my mind is obsessing over weird details. The targeting cursor was off by a millimeter, so a burst of gatling fire missed its mark entirely. Can't press the wrong trigger, or else the homing rockets won't home in. There's an entire wall of bullets here and the evade-dodge meter isn't full, so better just retreat and try a different angle. The gratuitous violence gives me the impression that I'm supposed to revel in the slaughter, but instead all I do is catch myself overthinking. What's left to say? There's no connection. Maybe this would appeal more to someone who's also a big fan of Strike Series. Unless of course, they're also turned off by the idea of navigating a unfamiliar bullet-hell just to play something they grew up with.  

Arcade Appreciation - Bullet

You know what time it is?

That's right!

It's time I drop everything and pull out a random game that I think kicks some serious booty. Bullet is a twin-stick shooter by Se- oh wait... really? We're talking about a twin-stick shooter? A... twin-stick... as if there wasn't already a hundred billion trillion quadrillion of these damnable things floating around? Unbelievable! I'm trying to put on airs like I'm some sophisticated critic with a deeper understanding of the gaming zeitgeist. Yet, without fail, I fall into some artless point & shoot nonsense- you're not buying any of this, not even as a bad joke. In all realness and backbreaking honesty, Bullet is a twin-stick shooter by Sega that kicks quite a lot of butts.

Grab a Logitech F310 or some other dual-stick controller, because you'll be needing it for however long it takes to conquer evil. Player 1 steps into the shoes of Emmy. She was on her way to aerobics class when the robot overlord's forces attacked from underground. With machine gun in hands, Emmy shoots through an entire army, defeats their lazy commander (all he does is sit!), and heads deeper into the abyss. Reaching what lies at the bottom is going to take a lot of effort, hardened reflexes, and plenty of quarters. Oh, wait. Let me take that last part back. Any extraneous coinage or credits doesn't matter. You get a few lives, a couple extends, and that's it. 1CC or say goodbye to Earth, baby!

Right, so let's dig into why I'd give a care about this twin-stick shooter. Bullet's brilliance is in the limitations it places upon players. Emmy's gun has very limited range. The enemy forces are infinite. She'll get overwhelmed if she doesn't start moving immediately. For a mover & shooter, the fundamentals are extremely tight. Agency is everything, as finding (or creating) gaps in the enemy hordes will make all the difference in surviving the onslaught. In spite of the low framerate, sensing and evading projectiles doesn't feel problematic. Enemies don't shoot from offscreen, so there's plenty of time to react to their presence while running towards the boss.

Each stage has a nice sense of progression, as foes with unique capabilities are introduced at specific points. In the sewers, the most common enemy will be the rat. In time, they'll be joined by soldiers, and eventually slime-throwing blobs. The hangar that follows is a robot heaven (or hell), where the most annoying of the bunch spew 8-way spread-shots. Prioritizing running over gunning is the surest way to survive these consistently escalating scenarios.

This is fine. No really, it is.

One other aspect of Bullet that's very neat is that it has a strategy for players willing to give up points for a better chance of survival. Although this shooter can place a large number of enemies onscreen, that large number isn't anywhere near infinite. The more baddies you have chasing you, the less a chance they'll have of getting in your way. The player-character runs just a little bit faster than the enemy, making this tactic fairly easy to utilize. Keep in mind though that there's no outrunning bullets. The best one can do is lead enemy fire away from their position and keep their movements unpredictable. Due to the limited weaponry, a lot of situations can't be tackled head-on. All these facets come together to create a shooter that's smart and compelling entertainment. Having a weapon that can't simply punch massive holes through armies really elevates the action. That said, try "fluttering" the aiming stick while firing. It seems to increase the rate of fire while giving the bullets a nice fanning effect. Maybe it's just a placebo. Whatever, I'll keep doing it anyway.

While this is a short arcade game, it was made in the 80s, and you know exactly what that means. Yes indeed, there are multiple loops, and they do not play around. The first stage of loop 2 is noticeably tougher than the last stage of loop 1. I believe there are at least a few 4-ALLs floating around the net, so expect a long hard road to mastery. 

I didn't know what to expect out of Bullet, but I was hooked within its first minute. Leave it to the amazing talent at Sega to create a twin-stick shooter that still feels inventive after 40ish years. Give it a shot sometime.

2026 Special - Kitsune Tails

I'm supposed to think of a clever intro for the "Super Mario Bros. 3 with lesbian fox-girls" game, and unfortunately, it's not coming together. The braincells must not be coagulating today. Let's just skip ahead to the ramen and pretzels* of the review. Kitsune Tails is a 2024 indie platformer designed to evoke strong feelings about the things that we love to see. Speaking solely for myself, I'm happy to have a jump & stomp game that evokes the classic era. Anyone foolish enough to repeatedly visit this blog has been subjected to my decrepit whinge-fests about modern platformers and their tendency to include a few more spikes and pits than normal. I can't help myself. I like player-expression, finding multiple ways from point A to point B, and so on and whatever.

What we have here is a platformer distinctly built for comfort vibes. It's got inviting colors, a soundtrack that soothes, and a generous supply of checkpoints. Other features that help keep frustration between minimal and nonexistent include constant access to the inventory. Heading into danger and need a power-up? Just pop into the menu and crack one open. Power-ups are bought at the shop, completing certain tasks, or succeeding at minigames. If you prefer to sweat, then every stage can be finished without ever touching the inventory. Of course, it's all relative. Someone who cuts their teeth on Kaizo Bros. is going to fly through no problem, and they'll still have a good time because the game is damn good. Me? I'm more of a "won the first-place-in-his-age-group trophy at a McDonalds championship." level of SMB3 gamer. I had a few struggles, but only because I kept trying to show off to an audience of none. 

On a scale that measures how close Kitsune Tails plays like its inspiration, I'd probably give it a +1. When compared to the raccoon-tailed hero, the fox-tailed heroine has the slightest additional hint of momentum. I've had to correct a few jumps while in mid-air, but this could also just be a very me thing. I've spent less than 10 hours - across two playthroughs - on this game. Super Mario Bros. 3 might as well have been the only game I played for years. Comparing a weekend adventure with imprinted muscle memory is an insane ask, but I am insane... so... yeah. Seriously though, this is one fine-controlling game. Smooth as buttered silk. The crisp movement adds enough weight to each action that I was well-aware of what I did wrong whenever the consequences caught up to me.

Over the course of her adventure, Yuzu comes across various costumes, all with special abilities to master. The game tends to be pretty hands-off, only requiring specific costumes for unique circumstances. For example, the samurai armor allows Yuzu to spear nearby foes. That jumonji(?) yari can also be plunged into the wall to make a stepping-spear. It's one of those abilities that gets used once or twice, then perhaps never again. I feel like there was a little bit of a missed opportunity for some of the costumes. They're utilized more as proof-of-concept than an integral part of the game. Then again, SMB3 did the same thing. The biggest difference is that Yuzu can effortlessly run & jump when she's a fish out of water. Frog Mario? Not so much. Oh, speaking of. The swimming levels here are actually kind-of lit. I was shocked that I enjoyed all of them.

Let me just go ahead and state that I liked pretty much all of the levels in Kitsune Tails. Some of the most interesting from a pure mechanical standpoint were the verts. I liked using the heroine's various talents to clamber up platforms and through the myriad dangers. There's one in the ice-world that relies on skillful Snow Fox usage that's outright exceptional. The only nitpick I have is offscreen umbrellas. They lurk in a few vertically scrolling levels, eager for a sneak-attack. Again however, this is partly on me for rushing ahead as if I had the mad skillz to back it up. 

Now, I know the game is less than two years old, but I have to use open spoilers to finish the review. There's a second playable character, her name is Kiri, and she has a sword. What makes her much more than a melee attack are all of the special moves she'll learn. First is the blade dash, which opens up an entirely new dimension in traversal combat. Slicing through ground or air with ease adds so much to her role in the game. Not long afterwards, she obtains an upward slash, a dive-kick, and a supercharged dash for flying in any cardinal direction.

What really makes Kiri awesome is that touching the ground or striking an enemy will cause all of her moves to "reset". Basically, it means chaining moves together while in midair. The utility of this is really something special and even reminds me a bit of Shinobi for the Playstation 2. Linking blade attacks to cross chasms or climb verts is supremely cool. Shame that there aren't more levels that utilize the other fox-tailed heroine's entire move-set, but it's alright.

The deal with Kitsune Tails is that while the bulk of it is a wonderful platformer with solid mechanics and fun ideas, there's also plenty of minigames to check out. This being the 2026 special, I uh... admittedly didn't spend much time with any of them. Kappa racing or searching a haunted house for treasure isn't exactly what I'm looking for in these women with women games. Still, their inclusion is welcome, as it showcases the skill of the developer at tackling a multitude of genres. Built-in features for designing your own levels or minigames are included. I probably should've designed a few of my own levels, if merely to silence earlier complaints about there not being enough costume/blade-dash-specific content. Thing is, the most level-designing I ever did was for a single-screen puzzle platformer, so meh... You know how it is; always easier just to complain.

Actually, there is in fact a bonus world that contains a handful of levels intended for maniacs. Let's just say these levels showed me that although I like Kitsune Tails a whole lot, I don't love it. You'll need a fair amount of love and all the things that come with (patience & commitment) to deal with these brutal challenges. One level is devoted entirely to ghosts and disappearing blocks. Another has Yuzu trying to master an expert technique. It requires tossing a shelled creature and jumping off of it as it rebounds off a wall. After many failed attempts, I started to wonder if something wasn't adding up, and if the hitboxes weren't just a tad too hurtful. Rather than having my otherwise enjoyable time get blown up by a completely optional mechanic that neither adds to nor takes away from the adventure, I chose to step away and start writing the review.

So yeah, I figure liking a game a whole lot is enough reason for me to recommend it to everyone, and I mean that. This isn't just me liking me some weird-ass shit because it's got level-ups or a hundred secret characters to obtain. Kitsune Tails is a very charming platformer that expertly grasps the essentials and tops it off with plenty of bonuses. Buy it, treat yourself to a playthrough ever year, and maybe life will get a little bit better.

No guarantees though.

*I'm too broke for meat and potatoes.

Arcade Appreciation - Wild West C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mesa

Yup, we're heading back to the 90s for another classic arcade game. Wild West C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mesa, along with Sunset Riders & Mystic Warriors, formed something of a trilogy. I mean, how else could I describe a trio of shooters where four players blast through an entire rogues' gallery and their hundreds-strong army of goons? Besides, the shift in genre was a welcome reprieve from Konami's plethora of belt-scrollers. It also meant more opportunities for their immensely talented programmers, artists, and composers to show off. Anyway, since today's review is centered on the Ryan Brown (TMNT) property, let's uh... let's rodeo! 

After a whole mess of cows evolved into a "bovipomorphic" state - caused by a comet striking the Western plans - they formed a community atop the mile-high mesa they were stranded on. Next, they discovered Steampunk, mined several tons of silver, and built a thriving frontier town. A frontier to what I can't really say. Maybe the comet caused the formation of other skyscraping mesas, and folks would use airships to facilitate trade or travel. In any case, wealthy towns out in the middle of nowhere inevitably fall prey to ruffians. It's up to Marshal Moo Montana, Dakota Dude, Cowlorado Kid, and Buffalo Bull to keep the peace. This is the part where you insert a coin fire up MAME, select your favorite Cowboy, and start blasting.

Wild West C.O.W. Boys of Moo Mess, which I'm shortening to WWC.O.W.BMM for the remainder of the review, is unique in the sense that it's very... kid-friendly? Now, I'm not judging the gaming skills of the kids, nor am I trying to be condescending to older folks, but this is an all-ages shooter. To put it another way, it's an unexpectedly fair arcade game. Actually, fair isn't the word I should use, so let's swap it out for... generous. Yes! Generous! Why, if this shootemup wasn't loaded to the brim with Konami's trademark flair, I'd say it almost looks out of place sitting next to the likes of Golden Axe: Revenge of Death Adder, Parodius, or a multitude of other classics that would gladly exchange your precious coins for a series of boots to the face.

Let me put it this way, if you were a parent worried that your child was going to spend all five of their dollars on a single arcade game, then you'd gently nudge them towards the one based on that Cowboy cartoon they're always waking up at 6:00 am on a Saturday to watch. Allow me to explain just how generous a shootemup can get. Players start with three lives. It takes three hits to end a life, but health-replenishing booze is easy to come by. Health is also restored to full whenever a stage is completed. This is what I mean by generous. One coin is taking a gamer - no matter their age or skill level - much further than if they spent it elsewhere.

Another reason why a life in Cowtown lasts longer than one might expect is due to the complete absence of collision damage. Now, if it were up to me, collision damage would be joining fall damage in Hell, but I understand it's a necessity for some games. Konami thought otherwise. Unless the enemy is shootin', swingin', or creatin' explosions, then no heroes are getting harmed. This has a shocking effect on all interactions, no matter whether they involve the lowliest goons or the baddest bosses. It won't take long for players to realize that they can get creative during encounters, using movement and positioning to place themselves just out of danger. 

One example that immediately comes to mind is the boss fight with Five Card Cud. He's a deadly dealer that employs fancy acrobatics to pelt sweet innocent folks with playing cards. One of his moves is to leap onto the platform where you're standing and throw a few cards. It's actually a bright idea to stand right on top of him, in-between those cards flying to the left & right. The one time you should avoid contact is when he transforms into a massive card, and that's a massively telegraphed move. One of the other villains (I don't know his name) drives a train. During most of the boss-fight, you can park yourself outside of his cannons and safely fire away. Another game would've expected its players to dodge everything thrown in their direction, but this one's generosity extends far beyond expectations. Multiple other bosses can be undone by playing smarter, not harder. I'd say the biggest exception is the final boss. He's got the largest array of attacks, all of which are designed it punish anyone standing in the wrong place for one too many seconds.

As one would expect from Konami's best years in the arcades, C.O.W. delivers seven stages that contain all manner of obstacles and adversaries. This being western-themed, there's the obligatory minecarts, ghost town, and a giant scorpion-infested gulch. Stages rarely last beyond a few minutes. They have their theme, play around with it for a little while, then end before their welcome is worn out. It does get mildly repetitive having two instances where an eagle-riding cowboy guns down goon formations like it's Gradius, but it's also the only instance that really stuck out to me. The majority of the 25-minute runtime is used well. Giving players the choice of the next stage is also a nice touch. The level of difficulty subtlety increases with every passing stage, so choosing to complete the most troublesome of them early is a worthwhile strategy. 

Besides running, jumping, and shooting, the boys are also capable of dashing. This Jump + Shoot technique lets them charge ahead, smashing through whatever's in their way. I can't properly explain why, but it reminds me a little of Rocket Knight Adventures. Mainly I guess because it's a technique that sounds like something to build a game around, but using it poorly is guaranteed to put players in a bad position. The dash isn't invincible, and it won't do immense damage to bosses. It's one of those mechanics with rare-use cases. You'll have to experiment to find them. Still, its inclusion does add to the flavor, helping to set the game further apart from Sunset Riders & Mystic Warriors. Special weapons can also be picked up and held. Mainly, you'll want to hang onto them for specific situations. There's a mid-boss in the minecart stage that can be quickly dispatched with a well-placed boxing glove.

Also, I'll go ahead and mention that this arcade game might have one of the saner second loops I've seen out of Konami. There's clearly an increase in difficulty, as more enemies appear in each stage, and bosses seem a little bit faster than before. Otherwise, it's shockingly restrained. Nobody is firing spread shots or coughing up revenge bullets. Players will have to work a little harder, but there's nothing here that would force maniacs off of the machine. Y'know something? I'm starting to suspect that this game was never intended for maniacs in the first place.

I've done about all I can to dance around the words I could use to describe this Moo Mesa Cowboys game, but in the end, I have to admit that it's a bit on the easy side. Not "You better 1CC this in less than three attempts" easy, but a heck of a lot more forgiving than just about everything else that populated arcades in late 1992. Despite this, not once did I ever feel like its comparative lack of difficulty took anything away from the game. There's still plenty of action, fun bosses, and decently thought-out gimmicks to justify the time I've spent. Plus, it's freaking Konami. You know darn well it's got all sorts of charming details that fans of both the cartoon and video games can appreciate.