Arcade Appreciation - Slashout

A very long time ago, I started this blog as a way to discuss the merits of arcade games, which often go unappreciated. Even the most enlightened community has at least one person who treats these amazing games as nothing more than quarter-munchers, and it breaks my heart. The brilliance of an arcade game is in its ability to deliver intense action and dizzying complexity, often within a minute of pressing the start button. Even if I tend to lack the skill to expertly play a lot of the arcade classics that have graced this blog, I believe in my ability to recognize quality.

In-between a recent slew of random RPGs, I've been working my way through Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii. Naturally, one of the many adventures with Goro Majima was a visit to Honolulu's arcade. Talk about Model 3 Heaven! Virtua Fighter 3, Fighting Vipers 2, Dayton- Sega Racing Classic 2, Ocean Hunter, and SpikeOut: Final Edition; an absolute steal for the $20 or less I spent. Okay, so this was - unless you count Battle Street (I wouldn't) - my first experience with SpikeOut. It more than met my expectations. Way back in 1999, Sega / Amusement Vision delivered one of the best 3D fighters around. That's quite a statement to make about a game I only played through once, but I was seriously that impressed.

Keep reading. This isn't actually a SpikeOut review.

What makes SpikeOut so phenomenal is how it effortlessly blends multiple concepts together while avoiding the pitfalls that 3D brawlers often fall prey to. Also, it's controls and mechanics are extremely intuitive. Learning how the game works had an appreciable impact on my enjoyment. Let's start with the Shift button. While this is held, the player-character faces the same direction no matter which way they walk. The second I started using it, I noticed that my movements were faster, more responsive, and easier to plan. I could see and feel the difference, so naturally my mind became occupied by all the ways that technique could be put to use. Next was grappling. The instant I grabbed someone, and knocked down nearby foes with their thrown body, I understood the grab's value as a method of crowd control. Charge attacks are another massive part of SpikeOut. Knowing when to use the level 1 launcher, the level 2 stunner, and the level 3 super adds immense depth to this beatemup. In just a few minutes, I was taught the importance of every move, and efforts to learn felt genuinely rewarding. Despite my extremely limited experience, I could see exactly what makes this game so beloved.

Going into Slashout, I tried to keep outside impressions as muted as possible. However, something to the effect of "it wasn't as well-received" had managed to worm its way into my subconscious. Maybe it was a YouTube comment, a forum post, or I had just absorbed a stray opinion via photosynthesis. In any case, it was a thought that would instantly spring forth after my first couple of attempts at this Hack & Slash follow-up. Even though I didn't have a single clue as to why it wasn't as well-received, it wouldn't take long for me to come up with a large list of possible reasons.

Before diving into the weeds, let's take a moment to give Slashout a proper description. In a world of magic, something bad is probably happening. Choose from one of four weapon-wielding heroes to stop the forces of evil. Each of the six stages is packed with strange creatures to pummel and a large end-boss to conquer. There's actually no real story to speak of. Your selected hero will travel from a vaguely Mediterranean City to the outskirts of a Haunted Mansion, then through the rusted remnants of an Abandoned Mining Facility. Afterwards, they'll play in the Mysterious Forest, challenge the Dragon's Den, and finally battle the Great Evil in Diabolo's Shell. I don't know. Something about it all feels like a pinata that was stuffed with high-fantasy tropes and then given a mighty thwack. There's also a couple of hidden stages, though I'll tell you right now that I'm not interested in seeking them out.

Let's introduce our heroes. Slash is the all-rounder with decent reach, speed, and power. Luna, who looks like a cross between Princia Ramode (F-Zero GX/AX) and Ulala (Space Channel 5), is definitely quick, but her pitiful reach makes dealing with crowds a problem. Axle is a real "swing and want to forget" kind of guy. His huge axe has a good chance of clipping foes, even if they're not the intended target. Lastly, there's Kamui. He's a ninja. That's all I got. 

Everyone works with the same pool of moves. There's the standard attack string, which can be followed up by one of two sub-series. To put it another way, tap the attack button three times, then either attack + charge to perform a launcher, or mash charge to do a different standing combo. You can also press jump + attack to perform a hopping slash, which will knock a foe down and make them susceptible to combos. Chain these sequences together to juggle an unlucky monster to oblivion. Pressing attack + charge by itself will do a sweep attack, good for pushing something off of you. You also have a limited stock of magic for breaking out of crowds or doing big damage after a series of slashes. 

The most notable omission in everyone's repertoire is a grab. Yeah, I get this is a Fantasy Hack & Slash, but grapples were an essential part of SpikeOut. Physical contact is a consistent occurrence, so having some means to rush in and toss someone aside, maybe knock down a few others, could've gone a long way towards making crowds more manageable. Also, while charge moves are available in this game, there's hardly any reason to use them. Their area of affect is ridiculously small, and the heroes almost always get hit out of them. Unleashing a level 3 charged move should've been equal parts satisfying and devastating. Instead, it's just a meager projectile. An overabundance of effort to maybe knock down an enemy.

Each stage is filled with bizarre monsters. How bizarre? Well, off the top of my head there are floating ram heads, goofy chickens, pumpkin ghosts, ghosts with masks, killer top hats, Master Hand from Super Smash Bros, and those drillbots from the 3D Sonic games. Not Sonic Adventure but Sonic Colors or Generations or... Sheesh! I'm flying right off of the track. My point is that these goofy weirdos are out-of-place yet also overdesigned for maximum annoyance. Half of them look like they ought to be knocking some Belmonts off of moving platforms, and that's basically what they do here. They utilize their obnoxious numbers and ridiculous attacks to keep players off-center. I'd call it death by a thousand cuts if the heroes had a health meter that could actually stand up to more than a dozen.

Let's talk about a few of these assholes. In the Mining Facility, there are bomb-carrying robots. Try to combo them while they're still carrying, and you'll inevitably get exploded. That's not their worst trait, however. What they really love to do is sit just outside of your sword swings and throw dirt. Yes, dirt. Piles and piles of it at intense velocities and angles. Oh, and you're most assuredly going to get pelted from offscreen. It happens all of the time. Next are the pumpkin ghosts, who throw giant pumpkins to break up any attempt at fighting. That's not all, because they have a spin-attack with they can throw out on a whim. Almost everything in Slashout lives to annoy, and every hit adds up quickly. If a group of foes act with any degree of cooperation, there's a good chance you'll be struggling far more than any reasonable arcade-goer should have to.

Now hang on a moment, because I'm not done with these assholes. In the Dragon's Den, there are winged cats who rush from offscreen, or spit spread fire from offscreen. Pick your (offscreen) poison. There are multiple instances where they attack as a trio, and it's just no fun to deal with. I feel like the player's movement while shift button is held down should be faster to compensate for the projectile spam and fantastical attacks everything is capable of, but that's not happening. Besides looking problematic, Seppia will strafe and shoot, creating additional misery for everyone who already has a winged kitty problem. 

This all leads to one of my biggest issues with Slashout. It's got this square-peg to round-hole design philosophy. The main reason SpikeOut plays so wonderfully is because its combat mechanics and enemies were designed for each other. Both good guys and bad guys have roughly equal limitations, and it's all due to the fact that they're all humans. Since everything in Slashout is some kind of monster, it has fantastical moves and abilities available to them. A hero doesn't have to worry about something simple like getting punched, or kicked, or grabbed & tossed. No, they have to deal with projectiles, flying attacks, spinning moves, random stuff with weird properties, and so much more. In fairness, SpikeOut has one or a few bad guys with spinning moves, but there's a wind-up, a clear visual indicator, and enough signals to our brains that maybe we shouldn't go near someone that's got a pickax on spin-cycle. 

Then we get to the gatekeepers, and it's more nonsense. A handful of enemies have invincible attacks, and there's practically nothing that can be done about them. I've dodged a gatekeeper's invincible attack, assumed that I had an opportunity to counter, and was immediately made to be a stupid idiot as that foe whips up another invincible attack a second later. My memories of AV's previous 3D brawler are fading fast, but I could've sworn I was able to knock down bosses and keep their invulnerable moves from being spammed. That isn't happening here. I even tried level 3 charges on the off chance that it had the secret ability to break a monster's state of immunity. Nah. That was just a dumb moron move that got me killed.

Each stage ends with a large boss. I can see what the developer was going for, but very little clicks into place. Bosses have an assortment of attacks which they'll perform every other second. It feels like Dark Souls or something, except with stuff that's ludicrously difficult to avoid. Also, the 60 second time-limit doesn't provide many opportunities to look for a window. Players have to do an entire health-bar's worth of damage to get additional seconds on the clock, and that's a big ask when bosses seem to do whatever they want. Now, I'm somewhat certain there's a strategy to defeating everything while taking little to do damage, but the absence of tells and free time has me trapped in the constantly KOed zone. 

Predictably, the final stage is a whole new tier of badness. The first couple phases involve getting shot at by giant eyes while fighting shadows of the heroes. Pick one or the other, not both. Next up is the big bad, looking like a Frieza prototype. As Slash gets repeatedly knocked out by an endless array of projectiles, I'm wondering if I should've played a shmup instead. At least there I'd have the capacity to dodge whatever gets thrown my way. Trying to navigate meteors with a hurtbox the size of an entire body is so far from what I could ever imagine wanting from a SpikeOut successor.  

There's a bunch of other issues worth picking at. Sources of healing are limited to potions and level-ups. Neither can be considered reliable. Several stages have uneven terrain or camera-blocking objects. Since most everything has collision, getting pushed (not hit) by one monster while trying to attack another monster can cause that attack to whiff. These and many other minor problems contribute to game where success and failure are out of the player's hands. Ultimately, it creates a product that exists seemingly to chew up quarters, and that's not good.

Again, I'm sure there are 1CC videos floating around. This is just me speaking as someone who is trying and failing to see the path to that accomplishment. Slashout doesn't feel rewarding to do well in, let alone play. I'm not getting the necessary feedback that lets me know I'm making the right (or wrong) decisions. After a certain point, all I'm ever able to do is sit on the sidelines as whoever I brought into battle is obliterated. I feel bad for them. They were just a hapless shmuck who should've never picked up a weapon. I wish I could've done more, but honestly, I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. 

Playstation 2 Look - Phantasy Star Generation: 2

"64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, and... let's just make it 71 to be on the safe side." I mumbled to myself. It took 71 battles, but I finally crafted a pair of White Boots, end-game equipment that gives a nominal boost to most of Anna's stats. 71 battles with two whistlers, four whistlers, four whistlers, two whistlers, over and over again. "I must be going insane." I sighed aloud as I drearily fumbled through Rolf's technique menu to cast Ryuka. Truth is, there's no "going" insane. I've been out to lunch since the day someone told me that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action repeatedly and expecting a different result. Screw that know-it-all jerk. Nothing worse than someone who talks platitudes yet never extends a helping hand. Well, whatever. I can't be concerned about ancient history, especially when I have another 68 or 69 battles ahead of me. It's extremely important that I craft the Black Boots. Their single digit decrease in damage is sure to make a difference when facing Dark Falz and Mother Brain.

You're probably wondering why in the name of any deity would I be so concerned about a meaningless accessory. The answer is that I don't think very highly of myself. For reasons that may never materialize, I gave Phantasy Star Generation: 2 a full playthrough. This remake of the Sega Genesis classic was developed in conjunction with D3, a publisher that brought many low-budget (and low-quality) games to PlayStation platforms. In all honesty though, I wouldn't even consider myself in the top 10,000 haters of the Sega 3D Ages line-up. Space Harrier, Outrun, and several others might be uglier than swamp ass, but they're... playable, I guess? Eh... Look. I didn't say I was in the top 100,000 lovers of these middling clunkers. 

I said my piece on the original Phantasy Star II less than a year ago. However, I probably should've mentioned that this is a 15-hour RPG that was inexplicably stretched to 25 hours. What does that make Phantasy Star Generation: 2 then? Oh, that's easy. Sega & D3 stretched a 15-hour RPG to over 35 hours. The simplest thing anyone could've done is implement a handful of QOL features to smooth out the roughest edges. What's here is everything but simple. Basic, functional, and satisfying was replaced with overwrought, repetitive, and aggravating. With only a hint of hyperbole, I can say that this version of PS2 is worse than the original in every conceivable way. "A hint of hyperbole?" Yes, the camera was fixed so players can actually see what's in front of the party. That's literally it.

Let's talk about the big exclusive features, and why I hate them. During his investigations into the recent surge of Bio Monsters, Rolf will acquire the services of various heroes, all with differing backgrounds and talents. Since the party-size is limited to four, everyone else has to stay home. Instead of twiddling their thumbs, they can "practice" or "create". Practice is actually useful since it allows inactive heroes to maintain a level of experience close to those who are following Rolf around. Item Creation on the other hand, is intricately designed to cause psychosis. 

"71, 72, 73, 74, and let's stop there. That has to be enough for the Ice Slicer." I exclaim with a sense of self-satisfaction. "Napalm-Shot!? Dammit!" I must have miscalculated, lost count, forgot to take Amy's contribution into account, whatever. The point is that item creation requires players to participate in a huge number of battles, all to get something that may or may not be useful. It'd be much too intuitive to ask the heroes sitting at home to make a particular item, and PSG:2 laughs at the idea of including a freaking counter. "89, 90, 91, 92" Yes, this meant that I spent an inordinate amount of time counting out loud. The slightest mistake would leave me with something practically unusable. Adding to the annoyance is that creators can overlap. Rudo & Kain create weapons, Hugh & Kain (?) construct armor, and Hugh & Kain & Rudo invent accessories exclusively for men. Only one creation can be picked up. Reload a save if it isn't the one you want. God damn this is so stupid! I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must've been for yesteryear's gamers who didn't have access to PCSX-2's fast-forward. 

The most embarrassing part is how little all that effort actually matters. I crafted Anna's Ice Slicers, even a Lightning Whip. Did endgame weaponry turn her into a warrior goddess? Of course not. Did it make her a force to be reckoned with? Nope. Did she get even the slightest bit stronger? Ehhh... ummm.... IuhhIunno. Something every Phantasy Star II fan has dealt with are all the bio monsters and robots that have high defense. The remake is even more of a slog. All that work I put into upgrading Anna's arsenal was thrown back into my face as she did *plink plink* damage forever. She's my favorite character in PSII; seeing her stuck with Snow Crown duties broke my heart. Ultimately, I invested shit-ton of extra time to get the same result. When it comes time for the final bosses, Rolf & Rudo are still going to be the damage-dealers. Seriously, I think it's bullshit that Rudo's is the only character who has easy access to defense-ignoring weaponry. A competent remake might've tried alleviating the bullshit instead of exacerbating it. We're so far outside of that realm of possibility I'm sorry I even had the thought.

Next up is the battle system. In an effort to increase player involvement, the heroes can charge their attacks. A level 3 charge does the most damage, but often causes whoever performs it to act after the enemy. Really, it's not enough to make a difference. Even worse is the "parry". What this does is reduce incoming damage if a button-press is timed correctly. I'll tell you right now that this isn't Paper Mario. Decent timing isn't saving anyone's life, because the damage-reduction is limited to a single digit's worth. Players who fully engage with the battle system are awarded bonus experience, which again doesn't make a single goddamn ounce of difference. 

The more you know about Phantasy Star II, the more the remake wants to punish you. For starters, talking to the various NPCs wandering each city is required for progress. If you want the Jet Scooter or the Maruela leaf, then you'd better talk to various people multiple times over until they give up the requisite information or key-item. It's such an unnecessary addition that simultaneously makes me feel bad for complaining about it. Somebody put a lot of work giving every NPC plenty of say, and all it accomplishes is bothering the heck out of me. Now, there is a side-quest that leads to reward. Spend enough time with an old man on the outskirts of Piata, and you might obtain the almighty Enhancer. This item permanently doubles physical attack power. It's... rendered mostly useless by all the robots. Never before have I put in so much additional effort to achieve the exact same result. Seriously, what the fuck is the point of anything? 

A joke that's made at the player's expense involves the second floor of Roron Dump. In order to get the Jet Scooter, they must bring Polymetryl to a Motavian on the third floor. Don't talk to anyone on the second floor, because negative IQ Rolf will give the Polymetryl away, forcing a reload or an additional 10,000 meseta to obtain more. Speaking of jokes, I'm not even going to waste oxygen on the requirements to resurrect Nei. Look them up if you need a laugh. 

Every attempt that Phantasy Star Generation: 2 makes at improving upon the original is a total miss. I can carry enough star atomizers to choke a Dezolian Mammoth. They're practically required for the exponentially longer fights with Dark Force & Mother Brain. I can level my heroes up to 99. The experience needed to reach that cap is way past obscene. I have all these new features and mechanics available to me. All of them make the game less enjoyable. I stand by what I said last year. Phantasy Star II is best experienced with a romhack. Don't waste your time with this overproduced shithouse of a remake. 

Super Nintendo Look - Front Mission: Gun Hazard

The topic of today's discussion is none other than the 1996 collaboration by Squaresoft, Omiya Soft, and Cobra Team. Front Mission: Gun Hazard is part of the oh-so-underrepresented subgenre known as the mecha shootemup. At first glance, its giant robots firing upon other giant robots, but there is more, much more to them than that. Think back to classic anime series such as Patlabor. Labors are large bipedal machines that weigh several tons. Their ability to walk and perform tasks are the result of a hundred thousand moving parts. Piloting a hefty tank that could trip over a car or collapse a building by brushing against it requires immense skill. Special Vehicles Division 2 knows that the instant they haul their Patlabors out of the garage, some shit is about to go down that could cost all of them their jobs. The cool robots suddenly become a lot less cool when one wrong step could result in a dozen lawsuits; not to mention the mental anguish that'd haunt the pilot for the rest of their days.

Of course, collateral damage and civilian casualties often go ignored in the war-ravaged world of Front Mission. Nevertheless, walking panzers aka wanzers are still considerably heavy weapons that rely on fusion-powered propulsion systems just to get around. Their size also makes them easy targets for the opposition's weaponry. Jumping, dashing, holding up a shield; all of these actions are noticeably delayed. In short, piloting a Wanzer is a far more involved process than putting one foot in front of the other and firing a large gun. Creating a mecha game that takes all of these factors into account requires an exceptionally talented dev-team. Square went with one of the best.

Gun Hazard follows the story of Albert Grabner: rebel, mercenary, hero. A coup d'etat in his homeland of Bergen leads the young pilot to assist the deposed president's escape. Not long afterwards, his talents are recognized by Richard, who offers him mercenary work. It's the best opportunity Albert has of taking Bergen back from the tyrant who seized it... provided he lives that long. Before going any further, I should establish how progression works in this game. All across the world, there are nations embroiled in conflicts that require a mercenary's assistance in resolve. Each nation contains several areas. These are where the story and action scenes play out. For convenience, areas are color-coded on the map. Red indicates an unresolved skirmish. Blue areas are either safe places to converse with NPCs or optional battles. If it's green, then it's a shop. Head there for new equipment, ammunition, or wanzer-repairing fuel. Breaking it down further; you complete missions and upgrade your stuff until the credits roll. 

It's a little hard to believe that the developer best-known for Culdcept would harbor mecha game geniuses, I assure you that's exactly the case. Before the formation of Omiya Soft, programmers Hideo Suzuki and Yukihiro Higuchi worked on Assault Suits Valken, or what we know in the west as Cybernator. This 1992 game is a brilliant realization of 2D mecha action, an inspiration to many an indie developer (most notably ASTRO PORT). What makes it work so well is... something that I'll have to save for a future review. Originally, I had planned to cover Cybernator first and then Front Mission: Gun Hazard. Instead, I played through the latter twice in less than a year, which is quite the event for my "Has a stack of unfinished RPGs that rivals the Tower of Babel" ass! Point is, there's a noticeable and effective learning curve to both games that elevates them far beyond their peers. A shooter where the mecha controls as effortlessly as Bill Rizer or Lance Bean is pretty cool, but also not at all what I'm looking for.

What makes these games so special is how much work goes into movement. Let's start with the basics. How does several tons of machinery stop running without immediately toppling over? The simple answer is that it never runs. If there's a destination that must be reached in a hurry, or enemy fire to be dodged, then a mech must rely entirely on its dash unit. Propulsion systems placed in the front as well as the back allow the weapon to move quickly without risking its stability. In the case of Gun Hazard, however, there's an important rule to keep in mind: no collisions! Dashing is an essential tactic, but careless usage will be punished. Colliding with enemies or even walls will damage Albert's wanzer. A dangerous situation can be made worse if he's needlessly dashing and crashing into the opposition. One handy trick for all you players out there is to hold up on the controller. This allows the wanzer to maintain its current dash without all the clunky starts and stops. Rolling the d-pad between diagonally left and right is the closest one can get to "precision-dashing" and is a lot of fun to use.

In most other games, jumping is the go-to method for evading danger. That's not the case here, at least not usually. Like I said before, wanzers are large targets. One that's airborne is sacrificing both their superior ground maneuverability and projectile-deflecting shield. That said, there's still plenty of use-cases for jumping as well as the limited-flight capabilities provided by the Vernier system. It just demands a greater degree of player involvement. Your level of agency is far greater than the enemy's, especially when they give up basic functionality (like walking) for absurd weaponry. Learning the when and where of jumping as well as hovering is very satisfying. There's a great degree of control in steering a massive tank through the air and raining hellfire on everything below. It also significantly affects dealings with the few enemies that are capable of flight. Aiming in their general direction and pressing the fire button works... to an extent, but the real magic is in adaptation. I could've said that eventually you'll become one with the machine and effortlessly glide through the battlefield, but I still haven't mastered the controls myself. Somehow, two full playthroughs of a meaty Action-RPG aren't enough.

Twelve to fifteen hours spent in Front Mission: Gun Hazard will provide a lot of opportunities for player expression. Wanzers come equipped with a primary gun; unlimited ammo but prone to reloads. Secondary weapons can serve multiple purposes. Bazookas fire a single rocket for big damage. Wireless gun pods hunt down nearby foes and pelt them with bullets. Bounce Shot fires projectiles that bound across walls and ceilings, handy when storming enemy bases. There's a wide selection to choose from, and they become more effective with continued use. Basically, committing to a loadout confers multiple benefits. You can get by with a basic setup, but sticking with something a little more personalized makes the experience all the sweeter. 

I highly recommend trying several different loadouts. Also, take the time to work with partners who'll join at various points in the story. Their specialized talents don't (usually) make-or-break a playthrough but take care of them and they'll serve you well. The level of difficulty tends to be pretty lax, unless you decide to skip every optional encounter, thus drastically limiting the funding necessary to keep Albert armed and healthy. In any case, experiment as often as possible. Take advantage of the wide variety of encounters. Get creative with the means to dismantle them. 

Seriously, it's actually staggering just how much there is to see and destroy in this tightly designed game. Each nation has unique scenarios, often requiring more out of players than just shooting whatever moves. Wait, let me back up a second. I don't want to imply that there's anything obnoxious like a stealth mission. There are, however, extraordinarily large wanzers to tear apart, labyrinthian bases to navigate, a little escorting (nothing serious), and bosses that won't appear anywhere else. A ton of work was put towards creating an adventure that never gets repetitive or tiring. Excitement is quite literally everywhere. 

Albert will have to leave his wanzer to complete some missions. 

I suppose the one aspect that doesn't quite land 100% is the endgame. By this point, the best weapons are limited to Napalm Shot and Spark Shot. The final dungeon is a series of elevators, and the opposition mostly consists of spherical drones. I'd almost call it an interactive epilogue if the final boss didn't do immense damage with every attack. Still, it is my sincere belief that this is an earned ending. Much like the rest of the game, it creates an interesting scenario that isn't seen anywhere else. Also, given enough time, I think I could recognize the value in not having a gigantic final dungeon with seemingly endless hallways and mid-bosses. Front Mission: Gun Hazard knew exactly when to end, and that means a lot.

If you've never experienced a 2D mecha game, then this is the perfect one to start with. It teaches players all of the essentials of controlling a weighty machine. Nobody is going to instantly master the controls, and that's fine. There is just as much forgiveness as there is friction. Every minute spent inside the wanzer is a joyous one, and the sense of satisfaction that comes from piloting one is something you won't find just anywhere. I suppose this being one of the best looking and sounding RPGs on the Super Famicom is also worth a mention. 

My final rating: Required. Do not risk the possibility of leaving the world without playing this masterpiece. 

Super Nintendo Look - FEDA: The Emblem of Justice

Mildras Garz has seen better days. Shortly after the Millenium War devastated much of the planet, a new empire rose to power in Skulderia, a small country known for its ancient ruins. Cobalt and his four commodores are seeking out a relic of unfathomable power. All the while, civilians are subject to unending atrocities. Entire villages razed on the pretense that they're harboring rebels. Genetic experiments that are an affront to nature. Brian, a soldier who had seen enough senseless killing, turns on his commanding officer and is promptly imprisoned. Not long after, instead of an executioner's axe, he's greeted by Ain, fellow soldier and best friend. After making their escape, both men attempt to pursue a life without war, but it doesn't last. With all the suddenness of snapping fingers, they're coerced into siding with the liberation. The next 12 chapters in the blood-soaked history of Mildras Garz begins now.

What you're looking at is the ideal way to play FEDA: The Emblem of Justice; one finger perpetually resting on the fast-forward key. In the pursuit of transparency, I'll admit that speeding through grind sessions or conversations between uninteresting characters is one of my sins. If developers wanted players to fast-forward through their games, they would've included it as a feature... like Square-Enix, Acquire, and several others have done over the past decade plus. Seriously though, it's not a feature I want to abuse, especially if I'm serious about critiquing a retro game. However, my attempt to treat this SRPG by Max Entertainment as respectfully as possible was thwarted by its agonizingly slow speed. Either my finger remains attached to the fast-forward key or I give up and find something else to talk about.

If you'll forgive a sudden shift in the topic of discussion, then let me talk a little about Shining Force 2. It is, at least as much limited experience with the genre is concerned, one of the best-paced Tactical RPGs out there. Epic large-scale battles through mountains, deserts, and everything in-between move with just the right amount of snappiness. The cursor that shifts between all participants in the battle is quick and responsive. Even those early stretches where nobody sees combat for a few turns is tolerable, simply due to how fast everything moves. Battles still take a long time to play out, but that's just logistics at work. The maps are large, the enemies are spread out, and there's no telling what happens when both forces collide. No matter what, I'm 100% involved in every moment of the action.

Sometime after playing and loving its sequel, I finally got around to the first Shining Force and was taken aback by its glacial pacing. The cursor I mentioned a second ago moves across the battlefield like it was hit by a slow spell. Cinematics, normally the highlight when opposing forces meet, felt less compelling. Instead of an ally or enemy instantly evaporating the instant their HP is depleted, the game deems it necessary to wait for a confirmation text box. A lot of what makes SF2 work can be attributed to numerous micro-adjustments. Save a second here, a micro-second there, and before you know it, a SRPG feels almost twice as fast as it was before. You wouldn't believe how annoyed I am that the GBA remake of Shining Force is just as dismally slow as the decade-old original. (I'm not that annoyed.)

Due to what I can only presume to be an unfamiliarity with the hardware; FEDA is an order of magnitude worse. The problem isn't that the maps are too large or enemies are spread too far apart. In fact, most battles are solved in a handful of turns. Unlike Shining Force, adversaries typically aren't interested in holding their position. The instant control is handed to them; they'll head in the direction of the nearest ally, doubly so if its Brian or Ain. This isn't checkers, let alone chess, it's just a horde of minions rushing the two units that cause a Game Over if either of them falls. Our issues here are entirely technical. The enemy AI always needs a full second to plan their next move. When a battle cinematic ends, players must stare at a blank screen for 5 to 7 seconds before they can see the tactical map again. Several units clustered in the same area causes slowdown. These tiny timewasters add up. Just thinking about sitting through 80+ battles without a fast-forward key is too depressing to stomach. 

Guerilla Unit 3 is the force that Brian and Ain will be leading for the entire campaign. Up to ten units can participate in battle, and they run the gamut of warriors, knights, archers, healers, and sorcerers. Mainly though, what keeps a unit off of the bench is their Attack, Defense, or Special Ability. Dan the Lizardman is the perfect lure. His high defense ensures that he'll survive a series of attacks. Roiss has a special ranged attack that can OHKO just about anything. Then there's Sonia, whose greatest talent is the game-wrecking magic shield. Unlike the other two heroes however, she'll only side with leaders who are aligned with chaos.

One of the unique features of FEDA is the emblem. Basically, it's your alignment. Focus on the mission, avoid slaughtering every last adversary, and your emblem will shift towards justice. Ignore the objective, kill anything that stands, and pursue optional battles to acquire the chaos emblem. Depending on where your emblem lies, certain heroes can join your unit or choose to leave. There are also four possible endings. Otherwise, the differences are minimal. Shopkeepers aren't going to raise their prices just because your squad is comprised of bloodthirsty animals. Good thing too, because maintaining the desired emblem can get annoying.

To give a general idea of what to expect, picture a battle where the mission is to defeat everyone. You're probably thinking that completing this mission will shift the emblem to chaos, and you'd be right. Someone else might say "Now hang on. We didn't have a choice. It's not our fault they all had to die." To them, I say "tough shit". The creators of this game threw in a little commentary on the nature of war. If you're expecting the world to look favorably upon you because you were "just following orders", then you've been playing too many video games. 

If you're serious about committing to the path of righteousness, then you can't afford to make any mistakes. That means running away from optional battles and avoiding rescue missions entirely. When a hero or heroine's HP is depleted, they're thrown in prison. Breaking them out is as easy as killing three weak enemies, but your justice-aligned emblem will suffer. Being good - or at least as good as a soldier can be - takes a lot of effort. On the other side of the coin, battles can sometimes end with the chaos-aligned player getting punished. I'm pretty sure that an inexplicable alignment shift cost me my only decent healer. Granted, he was a sicko who hypnotized women, but he knew the aura spell. Although, I can only blame the game so much. I likely brought this upon myself for teetering in-between justice & chaos emblems. Nobody likes a tweener. Apparently, the Saturn version made some adjustments to the emblem system to address player complaints. I might give it a shot one day, especially if it also managed to fix the Super Nintendo version's molasses-pacing.

Actually, there's a lot more that needed fixing in FEDA: The Emblem of Justice. The game is simply unbalanced. Early on, keeping Ain alive is an interesting aspect of the campaign. He has high evasion, poor defense, and everyone wants him dead. At level 40 however, he receives a staggering 11 points of defense. To put that into perspective, that's literally 11 levels worth. Suddenly, the most hated wolfman in Mildras Garz is a tank with 30% evasion. If that isn't enough, then have Sonia - or the equivalent sorcerer - cast Magic Shield on the entire squad. Everybody is now immune to attack spells for the remainder of the battle. Here. Let me unwrap this metaphorical scroll that contains the names of each adversary that relies entirely on magic to do damage. Oh! A lot of big names on here! This Cobalt dude, he sounds familiar... Wow! That's a mega oof if I ever saw one! Yes, not even the final boss himself can do anything to get around Magic Shield. Every other boss being a couple special attacks away from dead ensures that you'd have to severely handicap Guerilla Unit 3 to give the enemy a chance. 

Also, in case you missed it earlier, the CPU has a one-track mind that's embarrassingly easy to exploit. I've had battles end in a turn and a half because the enemy commander thought the right call was to walk straight into Brian's open arms. The number of times the baddies got the bright idea to target someone they could actually kill in 2 hits instead of 30 can be counted on one hand. Okay, okay! That's an exaggeration. I needed two hands to count the number of times, and some of those only happened because I was sandwiching the squishy mages in-between Brian and the enemy. 

FEDA: The Emblem of Justice is filled with ideas. However, it lacks the cohesion needed to hold them together. Battles end up being one-dimensional due to overpowered characters and inept opposition. The emblem system manages to be both thematically appropriate and poorly designed. I get the impression that Max Entertainment had a lot of ambitions but also had to ensure that players could finish the campaign, no matter what happens. It's one of the many unenviable aspects of game development. On the plus side, there's plenty of conversations that end with Brian threatening to stick something up someone's ass or Ain talking about dick. 

2026 Special - Psycho Dream

There are some games out there that I have to appreciate, simply because of the bizarre energy that emanates from them. Psycho Dream is a classic example. Back in 1992, Riot put out a platformer that looks and sounds like it was ripped straight out of the subconscious. The perplexingly beautiful music is like a caterpillar that crawls into someone's ear, turns into a butterfly, dies, and is reborn again; all in the span of seconds. Visually, it's not quite as surreal, but still unlike most anything on the Super Famicom. I can't say I'm surprised that such an experience has continued to resonate with the community. Psycho Dream has seen multiple rereleases for modern platforms. Even Retro-bit has a cartridge version in the works. Preorders end in a month. Sadly, I lack both a shelf and the willingness to decorate it with Collector Editions of games I don't enjoy playing.

Sometime after the collapse of Japan's Bubble Economy, a virtual format known as D-Movies hit the scene. Why settle for watching a movie when you can live in it. With little hope of attaining financial stability, teenagers sought refuge in the unreality. Many of them would spend the rest of their lives in fantastical worlds where a better tomorrow was guaranteed. I don't have to tell you that foregoing the essentials of food, water, rest, and activity drastically decrease one's lifespan. In an effort to save people from becoming "Sinkers" - individuals whose bodies die while they're trapped in D-Movies - the government created Diamond Dogs. In Psycho Dream, two agents have been sent into the mind of Sayaka, a chronically ill woman caught in virtual reality's thrall. Take control of either Ryo or Maria, run through six tracks with multiple chapters apiece, then get frustrated with the cheap final boss and quit. 

Since it's the 2026 Special, my interest of course lies with Maria Tobari. As much as I'd like to question her questionable attire, I have to recognize some harsh statistics. Out of the 40 odd games I've covered so far, less than 10% of their protagonists wear pants. Also, she has a whip. The leather boots and leotard might as well be packaged in. One other thing, if I was even slightly bothered by how Maria's dreamworld persona dresses, I wouldn't have even attempted to recreate it in Soul Calibur VI. It sounds like I'm getting sidetracked, which yeah that's kind-of true, but mainly I want to get across that I like pretty much everything about the game. Just don't make me play it.

Maria Tobari in Soul Calibur VI. The guy she's bullying is Roy from Irem's Blade Master.

However, I can only ignore the basic concept of a video game review for so long, so let's talk about this hot mess already. Judging by the familiar-looking health meter and the whip-slinging heroine, you'd almost expect to be playing a Castlevania. Don't hang onto that first impression for very long, because it'll get Maria killed. Yes, I'm going to say it right now: forget about the melee weapon, ignore the purpose of the 2026 Special. The instant that Maria enters Apocalypse City - the D-Movie Sayaka is trapped in - you'll want to start hunting for crystals. These color-coded gems tend to drop from mutants scurrying about the ruined metropolis. If you see a blue crystal. Fantastic. Pick it up immediately. If the crystal is yellow, then wait a moment for it to turn blue. 

I'm being completely serious when I say forget about the melee weapon. Whips and claws aren't much good in this virtual world of lousy hitboxes. Maria is such a large target that getting anywhere near a mutant or their projectiles will result in cheap pain. Anyway, that blue crystal changes Maria's weapon to an arm-cannon. Grab a second one for spreadshot, and a third to make the bullets home in on nearby fiends. Relentless mashing of the fire button will solve 95% of problems. It's not deep or rewarding, but it is tolerable, and that's the most I can ask for out of Psycho Dream.

Crystals of various other colors can be picked up. Green offers a temporary shield, purple gifts the protag a screen-clearing bomb to use at their discretion, and magenta replenishes some health. Last and definitely not least is the red crystal. It only appears if Maria's claws or arm-cannon are at maximum level. Collecting the crimson shiny will unleash her overdrive form. She'll be a spinning, hovering, and bullet-spewing maniac, an abomination that no mutant could ever overcome. The catch is that if Maria is hurt three times, then the overdrive is gone, and she's stuck with the miserable whip again. Bosses will go from fodder to frustrating the instant this occurs. If you don't like taking risks, then stick to the homing spreadshot. Less firepower, but it's harder to lose, so not a bad trade-off.

Whether you decide to approach this game as a subpar Contra or an awful Castlevania, know that there are even more issues to contend with. Psycho Dream is rife with slowdown, and not the helpful kind that helps with bullet-dodging. It's not like Maria is dodging a whole lot with her dominatrix-sized hurtbox. Instead, what all this slowdown does is chew on your inputs. If you ever get the feeling that something is nibbling on the fire button or swallowing those jump-button presses whole, then that's the slowdown doing its "job". Maybe Telenet could've pretended it was intentional; made a claim in the manual that the hardware Diamond Dogs are using to dive into these Dmovies has a weak CPU. Let's pretend that whatever has Sayaka trapped is sending static signals to futz with the connection... or something. 

I suppose it doesn't really matter because 95% of the game is easily dealt with. Mostly, your purpose is to soak in the weirdness and piece together a story that's told almost entirely through symbolism (and what's printed in the manual). The developers were clearly invested in giving the Super Famicom something that defies the norm. Still, I have to wonder how Psycho Dream would've turned out if it was envisioned in another era, genre, or medium. Imagine if this was Survival Horror, a light-novel series, an 80s OVA, anything besides a Super Famicom platformer that's a few years too early. 

Oh, and of course there's the remaining 5%, which outright stinks. The finale is usually where all of a game's faults congregate to summon a bugbear of an experience. Surprise! That's exactly what happens with the final boss. Dodging bullets is already difficult enough when you can see them coming, but Maria doesn't even get the luxury, because her arm-cannon is useless in this fight. If you can manage to destroy the arms, then the second phase begins, bringing a load of input-eating slowdown with it. A terrible end to a bad game.

There's nothing else for me to say. Psycho Dream is a fascinating piece of media, a feverish little adventure. I still think about it from time to time. But yeah, with any luck, I'll never have to play it again.

Sega Genesis Look - MUSHA

MUSHA is one of those games. You know what I mean; the kind of games that are so awesome and beloved by all that it's impossible to come up with anything significant to say about them. How am I just going to say "Oh hey guys! Any of ya'll heard of this MUSHA game? It's really neat!" without utterly demeaning myself. Next week I'll post a Playstation Hidden Gems video, and the first game in it will be Final Fantasy 7. Point is, everyone knows that this 1990 Compile shmup rules, so I'd have to come up with something extremely thought-provoking that'd make readers see one of their favorites in a new light. 

So... yeah... it looks like I'll be sitting here mindlessly tapping my desk and rustling nonexistent papers for quite some time. Mentally, I'm not where I need to be to take on the herculean effort of saying something nice about a game that hasn't already been said a hundred gazillion times over. Last night was... rough... slightly more-so than usual. While working the same pizza delivery job I've had for too long, somebody ran a red light. I was about a whole second away from getting struck, driver-side, and spending this morning dealing with whatever inconveniences that would've arisen from it. A lifetime of Florida-living has produced more near-misses than Dodonpachi and ESP Ra.De mashed together, so all I can do is brush this incident away. Nothing happened; that's something that I have to hold onto, even though it also means carrying the guilt. 

Several real-world minutes have passed since I typed out that last paragraph. My thoughts are currently overwhelmed by the many neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances who have perished in car accidents. An unshakeable image of a fatal accident I had personally witnessed over fifteen years ago just resurfaced, as well. Right at this moment, my mind is replaying every horrid detail and I can't stop it. Apologies to everyone who just wanted a MUSHA review, but I think (hypothetical) long-time readers have gotten used to the fact that I treat games-writing as an excuse to offload some accumulated depression. My free-trial therapist ended last month and there's not enough in the budget to justify a subscription. 

Anyway, this is the part where I ugly transition into describing how the game works and what the controls do. Players take on the role of Terri, the sole survivor of a squad obliterated by offscreen lasers. She pilots the Metallic Uniframe Super Hybrid Armor, an incredibly advanced and highly sophisticated piece of machinery that doesn't explode in a single hit, provided that she's carrying a sub-weapon. This mobile suit's main method of attack is a cannon that spits out energized shuriken. Grabbing enough power-ups will strengthen it multiple times over. Those same power-ups also add to the option stock. Options fire star-shaped bullets in whatever direction you need them to. It's a lot like Battle Garegga, though not nearly as surgical. 

If you're not already well-aware, then I'm going to tell you right now that MUSHA is not a complicated STG. It's a power-fantasy through and through. Enemies do not serve some broader function, wherein you chain them together or utilize some mechanic to turn their bullets into priceless jewelry. Their purpose is to be blasted into dust a second or two after they appear onscreen. This game is designed around instant action, the kind where all players have to do is hold the fire buttons down and react to whatever happens next.

Something that I've often said about this game is that it's the perfect pick for anyone curious about shmups, but doesn't have any idea on what to start with. It's a statement I still stand by, well... sort-of. Hell of a time to get a case of the wishy-washies, huh? Seriously though, I'm a bit more hesitant to wholeheartedly recommend this to potential newcomers than I used to be. Mainly, it's because there's so much here that players might end up taking for granted. Being able to take a hit while carrying a sub-weapon, as if it's Sonic the Hedgehog's last ring, is already huge in a genre defined by the one-hit-kill. Shockingly, there's more. Terri's mecha is also special in that it has small hurtbox. I'm not just talking "small by 1990 standards" either, because this thing is tiny! 

Forgive the poor editing.

That... that right there almost feels illegal. Having a miniscule hurtbox means that players will be able to get away with a lot. Memorization isn't nearly as important as in other shmups, simply because reacting is enough to guarantee survival. Actually, I have to take that back. There are a handful of instances that can be considered "memorization-checks". Enemy homing missiles come in two flavors: white vanilla and black licorice. Vanilla is curvy, fluffy, and easy to get rid of. Licorice however must always be treated with respect. One of the sub-bosses in the final stage alternates between both flavors, creating what is probably one of the most important teaching moments in the entire game. 

Still, having to get that far just for a teachable experience is going to create expectations that clash with the norm. Consoles tend to house shmups that are far more forgiving than what's in the arcades, but MUSHA is one that I'd consider on another level. Back in the day, my ten-year-old self flew through it with relatively little trouble, and he was the type of gamer that couldn't get past stage five in Life Force with the 30-lives code! The way I'm speaking right now, you'd almost get the impression that I'm teetering on the edge of not wholeheartedly recommending this game... and God no... I'm sorry for even suggesting such blasphemy.

I sincerely believe MUSHA is one of the best Mega Drive games ever made. It's the essence of effortlessly playable. Compile was one of those developers that could capture lightning in a bottle, then smash that bottle and recapture that lightning just to prove a point. They had an innate knack for piecing together all of the necessities to make a great shooter. I think this is one of those times where they did exactly what they needed to do, then made the right call to step away and move on. It's the restraint that brings everything together, making for a shmup that even the most hardened of hardened veterans can find joy in. Being the gold-standard in terms of presentation certainly doesn't hurt. The action is bolstered by an immense soundtrack and a visual direction that hasn't aged a bit. 

Sadly, and not the least bit shockingly, I don't have anything else to add. This STG is one of those rare cases where the developer made it look so easy that false ideas start to formulate. "Why isn't everyone making games this good?" said I from another time, completely ignoring the thousands of moving parts and at-times otherworldly influences that make a product more than just avoiding bullets and blowing shit up. In their toying with a genre built on friction, Compile created what I can only describe as a lightning unicorn. It's so smooth, so breezy, so reassuring, so many things that I'm not supposed to love, and yet... Damn. Like I said, there's nothing I can say. 

Super Nintendo Look - Secret of Mana: Climate Crisis (Turbo)

Good news, everybody! It's that time again when I drop everything to devote all of my attention to a random game. I may have written about Secret of Mana before and probably shared some strong words that weren't especially positive. Whether or not that's actually true is irrelevant, because I know for a fact that 1993-1995 me was obsessed. It was, alongside Final Fantasy "III", one of the only Super Nintendo games I actually owned. Both saw an unholy number of playthroughs, far more than anything since. 

Actually, let's skip past the nostalgia waxing and move onto the topic of today's look. Secret of Mana: Climate Crisis (Turbo) is a romhack that extensively rearranges the Squaresoft classic. The synopsis is roughly unchanged. While the wounds of a cataclysmic war struggle to heal, a young man stumbles upon a sword, and his destiny is changed forever. Forever in this case is closer to the next 20 to 30 hours, but you know what I mean. Anyway, the World of Mana, as if it didn't have enough problems, is now suffering with climate change. Due to forces both known and unknown, the lands that our heroes call home has been trapped in an eternal winter. Rivers running through Pandora have been contaminated by The Empire's wastewater. The one land you'd expect to see constant ice and snow has turned to mud. Every region is on the verge of catastrophe. 

I mentioned that this is an extensive rearrangement, and this becomes noticeable the instant Jema tells "Sword Boy" (Let's call him Larz) to visit Luka, the guardian of the Earth Palace. We won't actually be visiting the Water Palace until close to the end of the adventure. Fear not, healing spell fans, for that duty has been transferred to Luna. We'll recruit that spirit in the Upper Lands. As you might've ascertained, spells were moved around quite a bit. "The Girl" (Flan) still specializes in support magic, and "The Sprite" (Victy) in attack magic. Sidenote: Yes, I named the third main character after the Kangaroo in Bare Knuckle 3. Multiple spells had their properties enhanced, and a couple of others were discarded entirely. Saber spells are still around, and they're almost exclusive to Larz. They're far more significant than in vanilla Secret of Mana. If you see a boss that's strong against Gnome cast stone saber on your party, then you'd better undo that immediately.

Oh, right, I've already gotten this far into the review and haven't even acknowledged the (Turbo) part. This romhack has multiple variations. Most change the difficulty, increasing enemy parameters and all that. Turbo though, that's what caught my attention. Its big feature is excising one of the combat system's central mechanics. You know how when playing Secret of Mana, you had to wait for the gauge to reach 100% or else your weapon attacks did very little damage? That's gone *poof*. Every attack that lands will do the full amount. Charged moves have also been rebalanced. The meter moves faster, increasing in speed as the heroes obtain level-ups. The Speed-Up spell also affects the charging rate, so consider training it if you want to see more level 8 special moves.

Turbo is, quite literally, a gamechanger. Secret of Mana has some pretty interesting mechanics that go unnoticed due to all of the wait time. Monsters have various "states" that they can be in. Some can't be hurt during a stun animation, while others have attacks that can't be interrupted. It pays to be aware of all these different properties, though rushing in while mashing the attack button also works fine. Due to the shifts in charging speed, special moves are more prevalent and should be incorporated into everyone's strategy. Something that I like to do is have my lead character focus on stunning and pushing enemies around, setting them up to get devastated by my allies' huge attacks. Altogether, battles are less stilted, more dynamic, and creates a greater degree of player expression. Just about every weapon feels better to use. Their strengths are more pronounced, allowing players to do more than just crush everything with the highest possible numbers.

This romhack does a great job of expanding the scope of the game world. There are not only more dungeons to explore, but a handful of them have been reworked to be more compelling. One of the more interesting reworks has to be the Platinum Island. Originally, this was Gold Island. Getting into its tower palace required a short detour to grab a key. Now that detour is an entire dungeon. On the outskirts of Kakkara, there's a palace being swallowed up by a void caused by the Mana Fortress. The heroic trio will have to raise this palace out of the darkness, reach the Mana seed, and rescue a few friends along the way. The many side-characters play a larger role in the narrative, which is really nice to see. I also appreciate that all of the added content isn't a detriment to the pacing. This is still very much a game that moves quickly, never allowing a single location to wear down its players. Clearly, the team behind this hack knew exactly what made the original so beloved and did an impressive job expanding upon it.

I must also show some love for the changes made to boss battles. They're noticeably more pronounced and effective than before. Tropicallo is - would you believe it - actually a bit of a threat. Tougher, more climactic bosses were moved to different locations. The big boss at the end of the Emperor's Castle isn't that guy with a speeder bike. Due in part to Turbo doubling everything's HP, battles tend to be much more involved than stacking spells. Since bosses respond to practically every instance of damage, you'll want to hit them as hard as possible, i.e. with charged moves. Weak hits provide them more opportunities to counterattack, and that can get devastating if the party is under-levelled. That said, I'd be really surprised if you were anything besides over-levelled for each boss. Experience is doubled in the Turbo version. Something to keep in mind though is that a handful of bosses ramp up the intensity, even going so far to engage in spell-stacking of their own. Even if every fight ends up being pretty easy, there's still enough to them to warrant the player's focus. 

Considering that I dropped everything to play a game I thought I had enough of decades ago, it's easy to see that Secret of Mana: Climate Crisis accomplished exactly what it set out to do. This is a really thoughtful and enjoyable hack of a SNES classic. A lot of love went into breathing new life into the dated combat mechanics and wonky balancing. Oh, and Turbo mode? Amazing addition. I'm really glad to see it as well as a wide range of difficulty options. 

Definitely check out this new spin on an old favorite.