You know something is very wrong when I'm writing about a Nintendo game. Well, technically it's a remaster of a Nintendo game with added content, but let's not distract ourselves with details just yet. Mainly, I'm under the (hopefully mistaken) impression that people aren't recognizing Zelda II: The Adventures of Link as the greatest side-scrolling Action-RPG on 8-bit hardware, and it's threatening to turn my skin inside out and set it aflame. You could show me a hundred essays, a thousand hours of youtubers crowing about every last mechanic in this 1987 masterpiece, and I'd still look at you with my "Is that all?" face. Much like how Super Mario Bros. became the standard for all platformers to follow, Zelda II is the pinnacle of sword-swinging stat-building excellence, yet...it doesn't really seem to the be case, doesn't it? The game seems to have fallen into a weird space. Unlike its predecessor, there weren't dozens of clones. Now, one could put forth the argument that everyone (including Nintendo) was actually copying Namco's Dragon Buster. I don't know about that. Half the time that game's protagonist can't seem to tell which end of the sword he's supposed to be holding. Let me be clear: even if Zelda II was nothing more than its sword & shield, it would still be phenomenal.
Explaining the greatness of this game's sword is simple: it's the perfect weapon because it has to be. In The Legend of Zelda, the sword is a great weapon that tends to be paired with an amazing sub-weapon. Early on, Link gets a boomerang, which unlocks a stun & stab combo that erases practically every overworld monster. It won't see any use against Darknuts or Wizrobes, but I wouldn't expect less from Link's toughest foes. Anyway, Zelda II throws all of Link's toys in the bin. Stabbing a fiend in the face is pretty much all he can do, and it's wonderful. The sword is immeasurably reliable yet bound by limitations. Its beam no longer flies clear across the screen, nor can it harm powerful foes. It does offer a micrometer's worth of pushback, which is kind-of incredible. A lot of what makes this game so immense gets taken for granted, and that includes the sword-beam pushback. The effect is so minute, but it creates a variable, or even an added challenge, since mashing the attack button could push an enemy just out of range.
What makes the sword brilliant is its dependability. This tool is precise, can strike multiple overlapping foes, and is both fast and strong enough to take down whatever gets in the way. The catch, of course, is getting past the enemy's defenses. Even the lowliest slime can throw the hero off their game with an ill-timed jump. Since health restoratives have become niche, monsters must be respected no matter their size or capabilities. Damage adds up quickly, and Link gets knocked back whenever he takes a hit. Nintendo didn't let the Action-RPG format dissuade them from crafting an adventure that punishes mistakes as hard as Castlevania. They knew players would persevere and overcome, most of them anyway... probably. As a kid, I never saw the inside of The Great Palace. The random encounters leading up to it are a nightmarish barrage of flying eyeballs and lava-pits. Working out a strategy for evading a series of instant-deaths can be a bit much. Still, it's not as if the sword failed me.
The shield didn't protect my childhood innocence from being shoved into lava either, but it did a substantial job otherwise. Seriously, this plank of wood & iron is unbelievable. All too often, readying a shield will force the protag in some sort of stance that minimizes or outright erases their movement. They stop the instant a projectile makes contact and get caught in some recoil animation. It's exhausting to watch and makes defensive play a chore. If the shield is an essential tool, then it shouldn't ever be an inconvenience. Nintendo had it right way back in 1987. Link doesn't have to give up his momentum to block a projectile. This allows for combat scenarios where multiple enemies can approach from different directions, melee or ranged attacks at the ready, yet the player is under no obligation to slow down. The shield has an understated presence. Never distracting, always there when it's needed. Plus, it makes blocking fun! Every rock deflected while Link is running or jumping is instant dopamine.
Another smart aspect of the shield is that like the sword, it has limitations. Players will learn - sometimes the hard way - that not everything can be blocked. Early on, protecting oneself from Moblin spears or the Iron Knuckle's sword is simple enough. Death Mountain is packed with Daira, and their axes cleave through defenses like nothing. Only here, in the bowels of hell, can one appreciate the smooth controls and appropriate hit-reactions. Landing strikes feels great, and dodging the counter is even better. There's a real dance to jumping in and out of attack-range that other action games of the era tend to struggle with. The conclusion I'm drawing is that a lot of work went into having enemies that move with the player. They're aggressive, but don't act out like a raging berserker. A Red Daira likes to stay a short distance away, where a throwing axe can cause the most pain. Some monsters are just tough to get close to, but it also makes them easier to predict, cutting out the clumsiness of accidentally jumping onto a foe instead of in front of.
Despite mustering all of my "it's 5:00 am and I couldn't sleep" energy, I can't find the right combination of words to describe the downstab's greatness. This technique is so flawlessly implemented that it's almost shocking. Forgive the sudden shift, but part of the reason I don't care to discuss Nintendo games is because it's overly trodden ground. Yes, they've made a number of classic games, and no there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about them. Nevertheless, I look at the downstab and think that there has to be something left to say. It's such an effortless, joyous move. Hold down while in mid-air. Crush weak foes. Bounce across anything armored. Perfection. The upstab rounds out Link's versatility, giving him a much-appreciated option for dealing with anything that's directly above.
In order to better explain the value of the magic system, assume from here on out that I'll be referring to how they're implemented in Zelda II: Link is Adventuresome. The most prominent change is that the fairy spell has been replaced. Now, Link is transformed into a cucco. He can flutter his wings to cross large gaps, beak his enemies to death, and crawl through tiny passages. While flying through keyholes is out of the question, being a smaller target does make bullet-dodging easier. Protect, Heal, and Jump are still liable to see the most casts, but I wouldn't ignore the rest of the spellbook...well, maybe in a vanilla playthrough. Mainly, what I'm saying is that the other spells become a lot more useful in a randomizer. Reflect turns the Red Gaira's throwing axes against them. Enigma transforms an army of Blue Iron Knuckles into blobs. Fire is a handy long-range weapon. They're still situational spells, but keep in mind that randomized enemy spawns tend to create a lot of situations.
Link is Adventuresome brings with it numerous expansions to the world map and dungeons. These are all handled tastefully. A temple usually has a few extra hallways and some new obstacles. Locations that were once barren have been livened up with small areas to explore. It's a larger game that still maintains the original's spirit. Dedicated explorers will be rewarded with some amazing gifts. There's a fairy who needs rescuing. Succeed, and Link (or whomever) will have a friend who'll haul their hapless butt out of an instant-death pit. Gather the wisemen's clues and open a path to the defense-boosting Red Ring. The most arduous task involves hunting down 12 golden slimes, but the magic sword they guard is worth it.
Between the new content and QOL features, this remaster is an easy recommendation. Its creator went above and beyond, doing justice to the original and rounding it out with new content that doesn't feel excessive or purposeless. The multiple soundtracks and playable characters are also quite fun. However, I must suggest that anyone familiar with the game should challenge themselves further with a randomizer run. The revised engine supports any number of unholy enemy combinations, and it's a delicious treat trying to find a way through a squad of Iron Knuckles or Fokkas with a level 1 character.
Above all else, the next time you revisit Zelda II, take some time to marvel at just how incredible it truly is. There's so much inventiveness to this Action-RPG that I never even touched on. Turning a random encounter into a short action stage is such a cool idea. Managing experience gains to rapidly boost attack power or get a full-heal in a desperate moment? Totally love it. These and many other wonderful ideas are tied together with top-tier combat mechanics. I... I think I've said enough. These reviews where all I do is heap endless praise are actually the worst to write.
