2025 Special - Neugier

Admittedly, there are only two reasons I played through Neugier. Reason #1 is that it satisfies the "topdown sword guy game" requirement for this year. Reason #2 is that it's by Wolf Team. When Wolf Team is good, they're good, but when they're bad, they're completely off the rails into batshittery zone. Everyone has to have experienced Earnest Evans at least once in their life. Then there's Anett Futatabi, which is just... boring and terrible. Okay, maybe I'm wrong and bad Wolf Team isn't that interesting. 

In this adventure, you are Duke, son of a royal asshole. Though you've been kicked out of the inheritance, you still feel responsible for your country and wish to return. On the journey home, your ship is attacked by pirates, a kraken, and the big bad. This entire opening level with the ship getting torn apart and all its passengers dying horribly is really something. However, I can't help but think that Wolf Team blew their entire budget here, as the rest of the game isn't remotely as compelling. The most you have to look forward to after the opening level is a castle, ruins, more castle, and an oversized platforming section. Just lovely. 

A few of the bosses have imaginative names like "Iron Ball" and "Stick".

The controls, which consist mostly of running, jumping, and sword-swinging, are firmly adequate if a tad sloppy. Leaping onto platforms is a bit more finicky than it should be, but luckily the punishment for falling often isn't that serious. Duke also gets a grappling hook. A neat feature, even if it doesn't see all that much use. Though bear in mind that you're expected to use the grappling hook to solve a baffling puzzle in the ancient ruins. I say baffling because it requires out of the box thinking that you normally wouldn't see outside of speedruns, yet it's required just to complete the game. It's a bit peculiar how this moment requires more effort out of the player than almost everything else put together.

Depending on how thorough you are, Neugier is either easy, or very easy. Most of the time, you're getting restoratives dumped in your hands whether you need them or not. Those instances where you find yourself running in circles aren't stressful, since you're extremely unlikely to ever be low on life. Permanent health upgrades aren't hard to come by either. Also included is a quasi-leveling system which rewards your murderous tendencies with increasingly more powerful sword swings. If you can stomach the meandering level-design and goofy platforming, you'll save the day with little trouble.

Slicing up golems in the ancient ruins.

Enemies, no matter their size, simply aren't a threat. A couple bosses might take you a minute or two to figure out their weak point, but that's about the extent of it. However, it's worth mentioning that the game utilizes a rank system. The faster you complete Duke's quest, the better the rank. It's a neat idea, but a bit of a waste when there's not much here worth replaying. One of the few legitimately good qualities about Neugier is that it's short. Most anyone can knock it out in 45 to 55 minutes. 

As much as I'd to pretend otherwise, this really isn't an awful game. It's just an unfulfilling romp that left me indifferent. Admittedly, I can't decide if I wanted something better or something worse. Maybe Wolf Team could've given me the Earnest Evans of Action RPGs, something totally busted starring a main character that controlled like a Gunstar Heroes boss. 

Well, whatever.