2025 Special - Brain Lord

A retrogaming Twitch channel that I frequent was playing a TAS of Brain Lord. At that moment, I recall saying something to the effect of "This game kicks ass. It's got plenty of carrots, with just the right amount of stick." In other words, the classic 'carrot-and-stick' game design. Now that I think about it, that sounds really dumb. I mean first off, harming an animal just because it doesn't follow orders is disgusting. Secondly, there's very little about this Action RPG that I'd consider the stick. The most punishment a player is likely to face is if they die, and even that's just a trip back to the last place they saved at. What I should've said is that Brain Lord is carrot sticks, because it's a delicious treat. 

Never mind, that sucks too. Sheesh!

A sign of what to expect.

Seriously though, Brain Lord kicks ass. Produce! is a very underrated developer. They have a knack for creative takes on classic genres. They don't skimp on the QOL features either, a rare thing in the early 90s. The 7th Saga tends to get a bad rap for its bonkers level of difficulty, but that's more Enix of America's fault than anything. Elnard is classic RPG fun for players of most any skill-level. The community has also provided sweet romhacks that offer a balanced yet still challenging experience. Then there's Mystic Ark which... well I can't talk about that just yet because I STILL haven't finished it. One day I'll hunt that white whale down and settle things for good, but until then...

The gist of Brain Lord is that it's a dungeon-crawling Action RPG. Throw all of your favorites (Zelda, Ys, etc.) into a blender, and this beauty is exactly what you'll get. The protagonist - who I'm going to call Larz from now on - is your standard "quiet guy with a sword and a destiny" and travels alongside a group of adventurers. They're found throughout each dungeon, always willing to lend advice or an essential item. Of course, not every interaction is beneficial. At one point, everyone took a break to cook up some scorpion stew. Somehow, Larz was the only one who ended up getting poisoned. Maybe he just has a weak stomach. Still, I wouldn't trade that moment away for anything. Even though you're handling the puzzle-solving and monster-slashing yourself, you're never truly alone.  

The armor shopkeeper in Toronto is the best NPC ever.

Also, that part about the sword doesn't mean a whole lot in the grand scheme.  Sure, there are plenty of swords to wield, but there are also flails, axes, bows, you get the idea. Hell, at the end of the game, I destroyed the last boss with a freakin' boomerang. You're never stuck with just one weapon, since upgrades are doled out at a constant rate. New armor and a variety of stat-boosting items are also up for grabs. This helps to make the bulk of the game rewarding in manifold ways. You get the satisfaction of clearing a tricky puzzle, dungeon/story progression, and a valuable reward. Produce! definitely understands what makes the genre tick and how to keep the player invested.

Building Larz - or whomever you prefer to name your protagonist - is more than just giving him a favorite weapon. Early on, you're introduced to fairies. Two of these creatures can be equipped at a time, and they all have their own abilities, which become stronger as they level up. You'll probably stick to practical combinations, such as the healing and defense fairies. Don't let that stop you from getting inventive though, since the game's difficulty is fluid enough that everything is viable. Creating an identity all your own really adds to the Brain Lord experience.

Taking care of business with the ball & chain.

Discussing the "Brain" portion of this game is a bit more complicated. While puzzle-solving is all but a guaranteed part of the genre, there will be someone whose tolerance for rock-pushing or obtuse riddles is rather low. Furthermore, I myself am hesitant to say what puzzles are too easy or too hard. I've played over 25 of these games in the past month. My brain is a fried egg at best. I suppose all I can really say is to expect a little of everything, and don't think twice about consulting a guide if you're truly stuck. 

Oh, and I want to highlight that the last dungeon features rooms that are completely dark. All you can do is feel your way through. These rooms can be a pain, but I have to give some extra credit to Produce! here. In one of the rooms, there's actually a plaque written by the last boss that says- hang on let me just pull up the screenshot and voila!

This is actually a genius move on the part of the developer. In the midst of total darkness, the villain tries to bring Larz down further with some old-fashioned shit talking. When I read the plaque, a fire lit in my eyes, and my only thought was how much I'm going to enjoy crushing the final boss.

Inevitably, I have to complain about something. In this case it's the mediocre boss battles. There are only four, and half of them are basically gimmick fights. The boss of the ancient ruins is some giant robot thing that tries to suck you into its big body for immense damage. It's a dreadful piece of junk. On the bright side, combat with regular foes is more than serviceable, plus all of the enjoyment you'll get from exploring the dungeons is worth a few minutes of meh.

Altogether, Brain Lord is one delightful Action RPG. I'm a bit disappointed in myself for taking over 30 years to get around to playing through it. Hold on a second... 30 years!? I must've mistyped because there's no way that this game is... that... that's really old! Oh no. Suddenly I feel the urge to crumble into dust and disappear into the wind like the ancient being that I am.  

Wait! I forgot to nitpick the inventory limit!