Steam Look - Disillusion

Disillusion is a first-person dungeon crawler. Taking the role of Golem, you must climb three towers and confront whatever awaits at the top. Expect plenty of surprises as you navigate the twisting passages. Interact with numerous NPCs; be mindful of your words, as they can affect the story's conclusion. The battle system is standard RPG Maker fare, with the difference between surviving and dying being as simple as knowing when to fight and when to heal. I'd nitpick Golem's low accuracy if it wasn't balanced out by his enemies being mostly ineffective at fighting. The game would've fallen apart if anyone used their turns to cast damaging spells instead of pointless buffs. That said, there is a semblance of resource management. Experience and money are finite, but the possibility that you'll put yourself in an unwinnable situation is devastatingly low. If you have a few dollars and six hours to spare, then consider giving this unique experience a shot.

Alright, now that we've gotten the perfunctory review out of the way, I'm going to run with the assumption that you're still here and wondering if I have anything of substance to say. Calling Disillusion a unique experience is a massive understatement, but I can only say so much without diving headfirst into spoiler territory. In other words, this is your first and final warning. Not only am I liable to give away some of the events that transpire, but my interpretation of the story and the world could potentially have a lingering effect that'll dampen your eventual playthrough. In case the flurry of one sentence reviews on the Steam page didn't give it away, you're expected to know as little as possible. Play this for yourself. Whatever interpretations you'll have are correct. That's just how good art works. 

Still here? Alright then...

I talk about dreams, far more than I reasonably should. The nether regions of the subconscious tend to be about as interesting as drywall. Dreams always end. There isn't a point to dwelling on what happens when there aren't any real-world consequences. Nevertheless, it's nice to dream. As the barriers to travel grow higher and our purchasing power continually dwindles, escapism via a night's worth of sleep is all we'll have left. What happens when that's taken away from us? Wait. I'm asking the wrong question. Ignore what I said seconds ago and let me talk about my dreams. In most of them, I see my grandfather alive and well, as if he hadn't already left this world back in 2008. What if, when my time comes, I don't see him again? The afterlife could just be a prison that takes away our dreams, and with them, the single connection to everyone we ever loved. Instead, for committing the sin of existence, our forever sleep was turned into a sleepless eternity. 

Disillusion is a story of fear and acceptance in the afterlife. We can't undo the pain we inflicted during our mortal years, but maybe we can understand. Of course, that depends on if we're able to figure out who we are and what we've done. At the heart of this D-RPG is Samsara, a purgatory that an unimaginable number of lost souls are trapped in. Some are thrown back into the cycle of life and death, though without anything resembling karma. If your first life was one of poverty and anguish, then that will be your next life, and every life thereafter. Those who aren't returned to the world of the living become increasingly isolated and prone to madness. If you'd like to avoid going insane over the course of several millennia, then you can climb the towers. You might fail, lose your sense of self, and become just another obstacle in somebody else's climb, but whatever's at the top must be worth the cost.

I should probably explain who or what you are. Your name is Golem, but everything else that defines you as a person is scattered into hundreds of fragments. Talk to everyone, repeatedly if it helps, because they all hold a piece of what could be conceived as your identity. I'm not trying to be vague, but the truth is, I finished the game and I still don't know Golem. However, I get the sense that they committed multiple heinous acts. The word Golem implies the possibility that he's not a being of flesh, rather an incomplete homunculus that absorbs the thoughts and memories of whomever it converses with. About the only concrete detail I recall about this creature is that it once told someone they struck their son while driving. Sickening, but that really doesn't explain Golem's identity. It probably just relayed a memory received from someone else. This might just be one of those blanks that you have to fill in yourself. Don't worry though, because whatever you believe will be the right answer.

You won't go on this journey alone. Melpomene is a Muse, a sort-of guide through Samsara. She is one of nine sisters who control the fates of the world. Her job is to ensure that there's always enough tragedy in one's life, but I don't think Disillusion fans mind that at all. Even if you can't ever figure out Golem, you'll eventually understand why "Mel" is accompanying them. Plus, I mean, it's nice that there's a guiding presence. One of the likely reasons why so many fail to reach the top of the tower is because they lost their purpose. That's likely the intent, because holding onto an identity means fighting the cycle of death and rebirth. Imagine if someone succeeded where hundreds of billions have failed. The purgatorial establishment would be overthrown, putting the afterlife at risk of being wiped out. If Mel is willing to help someone who could rend chaos on an incalculable scale, then she's a friend worth hanging onto. 

The towers of Samsara are like trying to run from a dream. Maybe we've seen it before and know how it ends, or maybe we're just tired of never having good dreams. Normally, these would be better described as nightmares, but I see more than that. I see the disorganization, the lack of texture, the total incoherency, and yet it gives me comfort. If a dream always ends, and a nightmare can be escaped, then each floor of the tower represents the in-between. It could be neither, it could be both, but whatever it is, it's home. Yeah, it's not much to look at, but the garish walls and peculiar soundtrack bring a sense of comfort. This game was created with an older version of RPG Maker, so playing in full screen will force your monitor into a funky resolution. I chose to play in a small window. A tiny viewing space surrounded by the rest of my world. Bit sad, really. Maybe they were right that one day I'd be living in a computer.

A complete playthrough of Disillusion will most likely require a guide, especially if you have an interest in seeing the true ending and completing all of the side-quests. I wasn't thorough enough and missed out on what might've been some crucial pieces to the puzzle. Samsara is home to many crows. The means to learning their language is hidden somewhere, but I might've given away too much by saying that. For at least my entire playthrough, I believed that the meaning behind every crow saying "CAWCAWCAW!" was just something that I had to figure out on my own. Knowing that an actual translation for their words exists, I... honestly don't care to know what was said. Their tendency to be in the right place at the right time says just as much as words.

My time with this remarkable game has led to multiple conclusions, but I'm not sure if I can share any of them. I've been thinking about the afterlife more than not at all lately and have come across the worry that I may never see my loved ones again. Whatever happens is just going to happen. If that means I and anyone I've ever cared about will disappear from existence, then... I don't know. I guess, when I come to face-to-face with the all-encompassing void, all I'll be able to do is shrug. 

It could always be worse.