Tuesday, June 23, 2026

2026 Special - Panzer Bandit


Explaining Panzer Bandit is not going to be easy for me. It's Mad Stalker: Full Metal Force and Asuka 120% getting into a head-on collision, and I'm not remotely familiar enough with either to make an educated analysis. All I can give you are my thoughts and opinions, worthless as they tend to be. Fill in Cafe created a brawler that's fascinating to explore. Mechanics are piled on top of other mechanics, turning otherwise mundane encounters into an eclectic series of interactions. It has its problems, but none of them dissuade me from giving the game a wholehearted recommendation. A unique identity goes far in this overstuffed genre.

In order to explain the basics of combat, I have to begin with the most deceptively simple move: the jab. Pressing the X button repeatedly when next to an enemy will perform a short "magic series", but there's more to it than that. When two attacks connect at the same time, they clash. Repeated jabs are the most efficient method to winning clashes, especially if the opponent used an attack with a lot of recovery. However, it might take more than one hit to create a combo opportunity, as breaking out of strays is made easy with the Square + X heavy attack. Jabs by themselves also do very little damage, so chaining into strong attacks, specials, and supers is important. Even with these limitations in mind, jabs are still the core of anyone's gameplan. Take advantage of their speed and versatility whenever possible. The ease in which they're chained together can lead to better hi-scores as well. 

Another strong move is the throw. It doesn't do a ton of damage on its own, but the priority is absurd. Players willing to take the risk can grab the opposition out of anything. One example that springs to mind is the normally devastating supers that are performed with R2. This technique - which requires a full gauge - releases orbs of explosive energy that home in on nearby foes. If one is able to grab the enemy immediately after they perform a super, then they'll avoid almost the entirety of the blast. Throwing multiple baddies at the same time also works... somehow. No really, walk up to a duo or trio of mooks and toss them away. It's like the programmers found a bug, realized it actually kicks ass, and just left it in. Some characters (like Miu) get an extra exciting piledriver. It's always a treat grabbing someone out of the air and slamming them into a crowd.


In order to keep players from juggling all opposition into oblivion, there's a point when hits stop connecting until an enemy can touch the ground and recover. This is a good feature that incentivizes players to learn high-damage combos instead of linking a dozen plus jabs. I think most combos end after the second wall-bounce or launcher. It's hard to pinpoint exactly, but players will develop a sixth sense for optimal combos soon enough. Besides, enemies are typically training dummies. Some have annoying quirks, like grunts that are always trying to jump over the heroes to land a sneaky back-attack, though that also makes them susceptible to air throws. The most dangerous fodder can be found in stage 7. You'll know them when you see them, because they'll be tossing bombs in your face. As for the bosses... Well, they're an entirely different story, but that's a story for a little bit later.

Part of what makes Panzer Bandit so fun to play is its mobility. Fans of double-jumps, super-jumps, jump-cancels, back-hops, and everything in-between will have plenty of gravity-bending goodness to play around with. The ground-game is no slouch either. Heroes can dash through attacks, ensuring that the enemy's personal space will be invaded no matter the consistency of their anti-airs. Nobody feels weak to use either. Ein doesn't have Kasumi's incredible agility, but his guns and bombs have excellent range. There's support for a multitude of playstyles, yet none of them come at the cost of the game's identity. Playing fast, loose, and natural is rarely this appealing. 


The first seven stages are just different backdrops for the action to take place in. I mean, stage four has enemy-filled minecarts to knock around, and you can go left or right in stage 2's sewer section, but that's the extent of the "level-design". It's not a huge deal. Guardian Heroes had similarly flat stages, right? Of course, that brawler also had a half-decent selection of enemies to contend with. Bashing a series of hapless bots never truly gets old, but I think there should've been a couple mid-level adversaries; robots that don't need superior numbers to do some damage. That might've helped to bridge the gap between the weaker shmucks and skilled elites.

Bosses in this game are 1v1 fights against warriors that are just as talented as Kou and his bandit crew. Their AI is consistent with previous Fill In Cafe games (read: slightly overtuned). Expect to work harder to find openings. Mistakes are often punished with heavy attacks that have a lot of range. Not even the first boss can be underestimated, because he'll hammer his opponents with a barrage of gunfire and missiles. Towards the end of the game, bosses start taking the forms of huge mechs, all with hyper-armor. This can get a little obnoxious for characters like Kasumi, since she needs to land a couple hits to get momentum on her side. Oh, and expect that normally large supply of health to evaporate if the heroes get nailed with a big combo or super move.


The jump in difficulty from mooks to bosses is odd, but not a significant problem for every stage besides the last. It's rare to reach a boss with less than at least 3/4ths of a health meter, and the crew enter each new stage in pristine condition. Okay, so what's the deal with the last stage? It's a boss-rush. Players must defeat all eight bosses with just two healing items. This is not a great time. Most of the villains have their HP cut in half, but they still hit just as hard. A few wrong choices are all it takes for the continue screen to pop up. A series of fights that range from slightly tough to awfully rude is not the best way Panzer Bandit could've ended. Perhaps it's just something that needs a chance to grow on me. Also, some characters seem to have much better luck than others. Senka has a fire geyser move that'll chew through cornered opponents. If I thought the word unbalanced had any meaning here, I'd use it. 

A rough final stage is the biggest complaint I have about the game, and admittedly it's not that huge a deal. Sure, it'll blow up all of my 1CC attempts from now until the end of time, but I'll survive. The large roster of playable characters as well as a scoring system that revolves around huge combos more than make up for a last stage that didn't get enough tweaks. There's plenty of excitement in ruling the battlefield and watching coins explode from the enemies whilst they're being pummeled by huge super moves.

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