Arcade Appreciation - Alien Vs Predator

One of the inadequacies that hounds my review is the lack of time. As you've no doubt noticed, a couple of hours is the most I'll spend on a written article. Worse, the time I dedicate towards playing the subject of the review is usually not much more, and sometimes even less. Conclusions, when I actually bother to write them out, are formed from however long it takes to see the credits roll. This might work decently enough for RPGs, as even the most expedient of them can take close to a dozen hours. When I say, "I don't want to see this shit ever again." about some piss-poor Dragon Quest clone, then you know it's a confident statement with plenty of backing evidence. Today's pick is Alien Vs Predator, an arcade game where it takes 45 minutes to reach the credits, and weeks if not months of nonstop playing to achieve a one credit clear. You know I didn't spend months, weeks, or even days to make this review happen. I have no achievement to share, so everything I'm about to say deserves to be scrutinized. 

Then again, I can't imagine many would argue that Alien Vs Predator isn't one of the greatest beatemups ever made. Sure, it might be a big statement coming from me, a tourist easily wowed by fancy moves, pretty pictures, and excessive body counts; but genre experts with their decades of research should agree that Capcom put out a masterpiece. What makes it so phenomenal is probably easy to explain, though I intend to make it difficult for myself. After all, I still have 1 hour & 50 minutes of review-writing time left. 

Would you trust an AvP review from a guy who can't 1CC past the 4th boss? Don't answer that.

Let's start with something essential: player expression. The genius of this game is that its hostile encounters are not the overdesigned products of a hundred tinkerers. They are often no more than a horde of aliens or humans. Sure, there are a sizable variety of foes, all with their own methods of attack, but they are not intricately placed to the last detail or designed in such a way that the ensuing battle feels rehearsed. No, you get a horde and all the messy moving parts that come with. Treat it like a blank canvas, a slab of marble, because everything you're about to do to your enemies is art. Trust me when I say that your creation is going to be beautiful and special. It might not seem that way at first, especially if you're as bad at the game as I am. Keep it in your mind that Alien Vs Predator demands its players create miracles while standing on the needle's point. There is nothing you're about to do that isn't great.

Let's continue running with this hypothetical that you haven't already played the game to death since its release in 1994. The artistic endeavor you're about to undertake will be a reflection of your character; the summation of your experiences, learned skills, and personality. Naturally, you'll want an avatar that you can squeeze into like a second skin. First up is the Predator Warrior. Choose him for his balanced abilities, a combistick that combines solid reach with speed, and some wicked mobility. Warriors don't leave a lot of openings, since even their down-up special keeps them fairly low to the ground. This coupled with his flying leap makes it easy to quickly shift from offense to defense. The Hunter uses a Glaive (Naginata?) and exchanges a bit of speed for additional strength. His down-up is a flying uppercut. Big damage in the right situation, but a massive commitment in every other. Both Predators have shoulder cannons. A well-timed shot can disorganize enemy forces and knock several of them down. They overheat easily, so try to keep from firing more than once every few seconds. Don't overlook their ability to fire from almost any state. A midair shot will clear a path to land or punch a hole in the horde. 

Then there are the cyborgs Linn Kurosawa and Dutch Schaefer. Dutch is, as you'd expect, a big dude who deals crushing blows to anything that gets close. The smart gun implanted in his mechanical arm will see a lot of use, as its pushback is essential for clearing space. Take advantage of it after a down-up special whenever possible. Also, don't worry too much about that slow walking speed, as he covers ground quickly with his slide and dash-attack. Finally, Linn is a technical monster. Her jab has a surprisingly large hitbox, making it an important poke. Jump-kicks, down-stabs, and air-throws, the hyphenated trifecta, allow her to dominate a wide space. Linn's handgun is insanely versatile, with tons of midair applications to bully the opposition with. You could have her gun down everything from afar, but she's getting clipped the instant she has to reload. Seriously, the one alien left standing could be way on the other side of the screen, and it'll still get to her before the reloading animation finishes. Point is, each hero has a ton of moves to work with, and using all of them is required to get anywhere.

Since the days of Final Fight, Capcom has established themselves as one of the masters of how a beatemup should feel. That delicate blend of hit-stop, sound design, and the way fists hit flesh repeatedly. They figured it out ages ago, so it's no surprise that Alien Vs Predator feels amazing to play. It goes beyond the already perfect controls. I can't praise enough how each hit links into each other. The way Linn and the Predators effortlessly shift from their magic series to a down-up special. Sliding after a big combo to scrape a couple OTG hits. There is a flow that travels through every combat instance. Getting into "the zone" has never felt so easy. For me at least, all it takes is for Linn to fly across the screen, landing multiple strikes with her down-stab, and then executing that air-throw. A handful of attacks actually cause dramatic slowdown when they're performed, and it's fucking amazing. 

I know I already called them perfect, but those controls... wow. Turning the jump button into an all-purpose evasion tool was a brilliant decision. Forward + jump to hop or dash, down-forward + jump to slide, up-forward + jump for a high jump. Inputs are kept light to the point that every move is instant. Besides (very easy) down-up specials, the execution barrier doesn't exist. Furthermore, it's impossible to perform an unwanted move, ensuring that nobody dies because of an accidental QCF or a forward-back-forward or a 214 or... you get what I'm saying. Despite everyone having an insane toolkit, all actions are handled with a simple three-button setup. Also, it has to be stressed that the considerable mobility options aren't just exciting, but also essential.

Alien Vs Predator is unquestionably tough, a stark reminder that the player can be given everything and still suffer immensely. Seeing as how our heroes can inflict serious damage and fly across the screen with hardly an effort, it only makes sense that they'd be made out of tissue paper. Healing items are common enough to never be an issue, but the severity of a single hit - let alone a combo - is shocking. One xenomorph lands a headbutt, the other a tail-strike, and suddenly that health bar looks like it ate back-to-back supers. Going through long stretches of the game without a scratch is very doable, but once that scratch occurs... bleugh. It ain't pretty. Also, beatemups where players have only two lives to work with are everywhere, but I still feel like I'm getting pranked by this one treating the second life as an extend. In the end though, I can't really complain. If the Predator loses 98% of his health to a single grab, then that's on me for allowing him to get grabbed. The evasive options are numerous, and I could've just done an attack + jump special. A negligible loss of health beats dying horribly.

Linn's charge-attack also kicks ass.

I know it gets said a ton in these beatemup looks, but knowing the enemy's capabilities is required. Xenomorphs come in several flavors, all with differing attack ranges. Never assume they're too far away to land a hit. I'll say that despite their similar body-types, it's easy to tell Aliens apart, and pick out the especially troublesome ones from a crowd. Combat encounters with humans tend to be a bit simpler, since they won't attack without a weapon in their hands. They also tend to leave plenty of guns lying around, providing plenty of opportunities to shoot through them without a second thought. The frequent shifting between alien and human battles keeps the second half of the game really exciting. 

As far as the bosses go, let me just say that I'm glad Razor Claws is only fought once. Even in pairs, Royal Guards and Chrysalis aren't too much to handle. Razor Claws though... I'm surprised that he's only the second boss. Damn thing has nasty reach and a propensity towards axis-shifting strikes. The rest of the bosses tend to rely on adds (either human or alien) and/or some moves that erase health-bars like they never existed. Still, boss arenas often provide a pulse rifle or some other weapon(s) that deal huge damage. Navigating the horde and killing their leader is handled well. I'd even go as far to say that AvP is one of the standards for boss + add encounters. They're appropriately balanced, with adds dropping in at the proper intervals. 

I believe I've used up more than my allotted time, so let's wrap this up. Alien Vs Predator is an immaculate gold crown decorated with gemstones. It manages to be both extremely harsh and extremely fair. Players are given all of the tools to create something incredible, even as the slightest mistake hurls them directly into the abyss. The depth is also unreal. Easily the sort of game that can last for decades. Play it again sometime.