You might've seen the incredible speedrun of Batman Forever on Awesome Games Done Quick. It is, without a doubt, a supreme demonstration and a ton of fun to watch. However, actually playing the game is much, much less fun. I feel like I should apologize for what's most certainly going to be a wet blanket of a review, but once I got past all of the batshit insanity, all that's left was... bat shit. I'd even go as far to say that this is one of the worst arcade beatemups I've ever played. If I do everything right and play exactly as intended by the game, then I'm treated to a brawling experience that's almost as enjoyable as staring at the wall during a techno rave. The millisecond I step out of line, every bone in Batman's body is broken into dust. Who is this depowering fantasy for?
There is a cycle to this game, and for what it's worth, I can see what the developers were going for. Basically, Batman and/or Robin moves from left to right, beating up everyone who appears onscreen. When adversity is dispatched, they leave behind bat-logos. Picking them up builds a power gauge. Once full, the heroes "power up" and gain more powerful moves. Once they hit the third power level, their moves are enhanced even further. An effective technique for the Caped Crusader is his jump-kick into punch combo. At level 3, the initial kick is invincible, allowing him to freely get in anyone's face and bash them brutally. Performing these enhanced attacks drains the power gauge, prompting the need to acquire more logos. "Powering down" is inevitable, and that's fine. In fact, the heroes recover life whenever they power up, so that's more than enough incentive to keep using those strong moves.
On paper, this loop of seemingly constant power-ups sounds pretty cool. Players are incentivized to pull off a spectacular series of combos that obliterate everyone onscreen. Sure, they'll expend their chosen hero's power in the process, but that'll be recovered in time for the next wave of enemies. Unfortunately, the execution is woeful. Sheesh! I need to find another word besides execution. It sounds like every game I dislike is being placed on the guillotine. (Note to self: Use "in practice" in the next review). To put it bluntly, so much of Batman Forever is just noise. Reacting to a series of split-second occurrences is made so much harder by the developer's insistence that keys must be jingling at all times. Everyone is always flipping and stretching like cartoon characters. The inconsequential events often drown out what actually matters, like being able to tell when someone is throwing a punch.
I like the giant explosions and the heroes yelling while lightning strikes around them, but a lot of the other visuals are incoherent just for the sake of it. Early on, there's an instance where a rowdy crowd is in the background. I didn't pay it any mind, though I wondered why Batman kept getting stopped dead in his tracks at random moments. Turns out, the crowd was throwing objects at him, they just got lost in the chaos. Ohhhh! That makes sense! Those indiscernible objects blended in with other indiscernible objects and became... yeah. Swear on my everything. There's nothing wrong with just making the bad objects red so that players know what to avoid. Red means dead. Flashing objects can work too, though maybe not in this game where flashing lights are already a constant.
Seeing as how the heroes have consistent opportunities to recover life, the game felt it necessary to institute a method for ensuring that they could still drag quarters out of whomever is in front of the arcade cabinet. This method is "give every enemy a 100% combo". That's... that's really extreme... isn't it? I mean, there are certainly other games in the genre where enemies can cleave a third or half of one's life bar with a couple of moves, but usually there's some sort of wind-up or it's an ability unique to particular adversaries. Here? Batman blinks and that's enough time for the nearest hoodlum to unleash a Raging Demon. You'd better start blocking the instant anyone starts swinging. I say this, knowing full well that I've never been fast enough to lose less than a third or half my life.
Adding to the general unwieldiness is that this game moves at an unsustainable clip. Most moves don't carry any impact. Something as simple as more hit-stop would've gone a long way. When everyone is zipping around the screen, those few frames where everything stops are essential. Give the average person a microsecond to plan their next move. There's no harm in that. Instead, every death feels unearned, as if the player didn't just make a series of mistakes. Whatever happened that causes the demise of its protagonists never feels like something that the player could learn from. This is a constant issue that sucks out the minimal entertainment value I'm trying to get from being a masked vigilante who picks fights with everyone around him.
I'm just going to say it: The only fun to be had from Batman Forever: The Arcade Game is in the AGDQ speedrun. Watch it, enjoy it, celebrate its runner who spent many long hours of practice in order to make it look good for a crowd. I absolutely do not recommend playing it.
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