Tuesday, October 7, 2025

Bat-Octoberfest - Batman Returns (NES)


A long long time ago, I attempted to spend a month playing through all of the classic Megaman games. The furthest I got before falling apart was #7. Today I'm looking at Batman game #10, yet I'm not even close to crashing out. It's a bit hard to believe, since so many of them tell the same story with the same locations and the same villains. I think part of it can be attributed to the diversity in genres and development teams. Even the seven games released by Sunsoft have unique qualities that differentiate them. It's why I correctly assumed that a second Batman Returns beatemup by Konami on weaker hardware would still kick some ass.

Yeah, I'm trying to get to the part why I like games sooner, so bear with me. Batman Returns on the NES is a showcase of how far Konami has taken the aging console. Its visuals are evocative and striking, all thanks to an incredible usage of the limited color palette. The backgrounds here are some of the best-looking I've ever seen on an 8-bit platform. Then there's the music, which isn't exactly fitting for the gothic overtones, but who cares when it's damn good. Also, I feel like I shouldn't even have to explain that the controls are great. I'll just throw out my usual descriptors: second nature, with as much ease as turning one's palm. You know, all the greatest hits. 


Rather than attempt to mimic the arcade-quality visuals and hit feedback of the SNES version, the smart approach was taken. The development team went for something a little more understated. It's not as flashy but still maintains the technical aspects that keep the genre engaging beyond "punch people in the face repeatedly." Batman's move-set is very efficient, with every move having strengths and weaknesses. He's got a series of punches, a jump-kick, and a slide. There's not much to learn, and that's good because you'll have to master everything to survive Gotham City. The Dark Knight has a lot of hit points, but frequent mistakes will whittle it down to nothing. 

Surviving what is essentially of war of attrition will also require that you know your enemy. The variety of foes is really impressive by NES standards and is further bolstered by each of their palettes having unique tactics. Indeed, the flavor of a clown determines what moves they're liable to perform. If you see one dressed in cyan, then you'll have to watch for his flying kick. Enemies attack in pairs or threes, which is unfortunate, since they never mix types or colors. The uniformity might get a little repetitive, but the constant threat of damage will ensure your constant attention. Hit points are replenished via hearts and for every 10k points, but don't be surprised if you have to go a noticeably long time without a restorative. This is further incentive to learn every adversary and when to counter their attacks.


Your limited yet important move-set receives its first real test in the form of the Strongman, the boss of stage 1. Defeating him is a matter of baiting his spinning lariat and then punishing with the slide when he tires out. Sliding is a fast means of getting around, great for landing hits and escaping. It's not going to work on everyone. For example, a swordsman you'll face later on will block slides. In several cases, the best thing you can is to focus on what the enemy is doing and respond appropriately. Acrobats love to flip and somersault around. Give yourself the necessary space and let them jump towards you before attacking. You might get hurt trying to chase them down. If an enemy suddenly changes direction and speeds up, then they're prepping an attack that you'd better interrupt or dodge. 

There are a couple other moves of... questionable effectiveness. Batman can perform a spinning attack by pressing B + A, but it drains health. Normally this is a great move in beatemups, but here it still drains even if you don't hit anyone. It's not even invincible! There's also a block, which might minimize damage, but not where it'd matter the most, like against the tougher bosses near the end of the game. Penguin's duck vehicle has a homing projectile that's sometimes hard to avoid. Being able to block it and only lose a little health would've been nice, but I guess that's out of the question.


The obligatory vehicle sections are both nice. The batmobile stage is actually a bit better here than on the SNES. Enemies actually continue their attack even after losing their cars or bikes by trying to leap onto Batman's ride and land some hits. Rather than contend with a large tank or an extra-durable van, the biggest threat is a massive cannon, courtesy of the firstborn-stealing train from the movie. Avoiding this chaos on the streets makes for a pretty fun time. The batskiboat also makes an appearance in a bonus stage. It's the last opportunity to power-up before the final showdown, so make the best of it.

One last design-decision that could be a little grating is the fact that the final stage has ice physics. As the kids would say, that's definitely a choice. The Penguin is also one tough bird with an umbrella that never runs out of ammo. Use the bat-grappling hook to shoot him out of the sky, then use the batarangs you (hopefully) saved for the last of his health. It's a tough finale in an already tough game. There are unlimited continues and passwords. Use those - or save-states - to give yourself a well-deserved break. Having to face a grueling series of encounters just to get another shot at a vicious boss that seems to counter everything is... well, it's a little draining. 

Plenty of good games were released during the twilight years of the NES, and Batman Returns is undoubtedly one of them. It can be hard game, harder even than the SNES version. The difficulty isn't set to "everything kills you instantly" but is instead designed to wear you down until your spirit is crushed. Still, learning how to handle the many adversaries lends the game its spark. Tactfully defeating everyone while keeping health loss to a minimum is compelling entertainment. Fans of all things Konami and/or Batman should give this game a shot.

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