For a very brief period, this review blog actually had scores. It wasn't exactly Metacritic-friendly though, since it was divided into a Game Rating and My Rating. As one might guess, the first score was determined by how successful the game was at... being a game. Are the controls good? Is there a lot of replay-value? All of the standard qualities a person would look for in an interactive product. My rating was a little more nebulous. Did the game's themes resonate with me? Was I able to connect with its atmosphere and unique ideas? Basically, it's rating all those things that make a video game more than just somebody hopping around and shooting things. A couple of titles that immediately come to mind are Deadly Premonition and Drakengard. Mediocre, sometimes poor by "objective" measures, but I love and cherish them. Like any piece of art, an unforgettable experience carries much more weight than mechanical proficiency. If I were to give a My Rating to Air Twister, it'd easily be a 10 out of 5.
There once was a Bubble, and everything was good. Along came a Needle, and now everything is bad. Princess Arch, member of the Royal Family, heir to the almighty Air Twister powers, lover of mushrooms, has taken it upon herself to destroy all of the Needles and restore Queen Bubble. Put those arcade skills to the test across 12 stages of shoot 'em up action. Enemies will approach in various formations. Shoot them down quickly with blaster bolts or lock-on shots. Any that are still floating are liable to counterattack, so be ready to dodge at all times. Arch has a health meter that replenishes slightly with every cleared stage, but stray projectiles will eat away at it and then some if left un-dodged. The most severe attacks will carve huge chunks out of the heroine.
Air Twister is basically Space Harrier from an alternate timeline or another dimension. It's a creation not of this world, the fever dream that didn't disappear, with an aesthetic that at first glance wouldn't look out of place in Red Hot Chili Peppers' Californication music video. Disparate ideas and themes are slammed together to form realms that are transformative and awfully charming. Honestly, I was sucked in moments after starting the game. It's got a wonderful weirdness to it that's intoxicating. A long time ago, back when Walt Disney World had an arcade*, I spent an unnatural amount of time staring at the attract screen for Sega's Ocean Hunter. Everything from the art-style to the female protagonist's hair fascinated the hell out of me. Arch and the world surrounding her carries a similar vibe. The sci-fi and fantasy elements are given a flair that dances gracefully upon a thin wire above the uncanny valley. For lack of any better descriptions, I'll just say that it's Prog as fuck, like some Peter Gabriel-era Genesis albums got in a shoot-out.
The tangential relation that this game shares with its 1985 forebear extends to how it's played, as well. More pointedly, you'll suffer quite a bit if you rely purely on reflexes and zip all around the screen. When an enemy fires a projectile, there is an extremely brief moment where it hangs in the air, almost like it's waiting for Arch to make the first move. Basically, these bullets are predicting where they think the heroine will go. Space Harrier is more straightforward with a "if you're not moving, you're dying" mindset. Here, you have to think a second ahead and lead enemy fire astray. It'll take a little while to get used to. Given enough practice, you'll develop a sixth sense for it.
If you're intent on unlocking everything in Air Twister, then you're guaranteed to get a ton of practice. Enemies drop stars when they're destroyed. This is the currency used in Adventure Field to obtain numerous special items. A substantial celestial investment will turn Arch into a force of nature. One of the earliest weapons she can obtain has a charged shot that'll instantly eradicate all onscreen enemies. Purists need not worry, because these overpowered weapons and other upgrades can't be taken into Arcade Mode. Enemy patterns are also the same in every playthrough, so even if your only concern is acquiring stars, you'll unconsciously memorize everything. Inevitably, the muscle memory will stick, and you might go from "I need the screen-clearing gun to survive." to "I need something harder than the 1 Hit = Death difficulty."
What takes Air Twister from solid to spectacular is its music. Yu Suzuki commissioned Valensia for the soundtrack, and this could very well go down as the best decision of all time. Every song choice adds delicious atmosphere to the onscreen action. I'd even go so far to say that they're intertwined like the chains of infinity, almost as if this was the video game adaptation of a concept album. Granted, a number of tracks are re-recordings from Valencia's previous albums, but they still work astonishingly well, and the handful of exclusives are just perfection.
Most important of all, this game embraces all the uncommon things. I love how confidently it strides into the surreal and strange. The melee attacks a few bosses use look like special effects from a 70s music video, and it's just... beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
*Maybe Walt Disney World still has an arcade. I haven't been there in almost 25 years.
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