I've got some good news for everyone doing their best in the two thousand and twenty-six. Battle Mania: Daiginjou is still a fucking cool ass game. It reignites the dream that I live for. The dream that all data centers explode, all billionaires die horribly, and I can finally design the perfect video game website. You know exactly the one I'm talking about. It'll have that Geocities / Angelfire energy set to the maximum, random pictures of games that kick butt, gifs on top of gifs, and the piece de resistance; wallpapers that are so extra and so high-quality that everyone will take notice. They'll all start saying "Whoa! This is one serious critic! I'll have to sign his Guestbook and add him to my Web Ring!"
A video game's magic comes from its ability to make the improbable look effortless. This 1993 shmup by Vic Tokai isn't afraid to get a little crazy, poke holes in what we take for granted, and make itself the target of many pranks. All nine of its stages masterfully drag players through situations that ride the razor thin wire over total absurdity. There is so much that shouldn't work, and yet... and yet it's all so seamless! It's as if the Trouble Shooters were breaking all of the rules, rewriting them as they go, and not once did I ever feel like I was left behind.
Exactly like its predecessor, players must navigate Mania Ohtorii and Maria Haneda through another fine mess. It seems the two broke girls have crossed paths with Kikokukyou, a cult that's planning to assassinate the world. Multiple control schemes are offered, but the basic idea is that one button fires, another switches the direction Maria is firing, and the last unleashes a special weapon. Contact with enemies or bullets costs Mania a life, but it's hard to imagine a scenario where she actually runs out of them. Extra lives are - at least by STG standards - literally everywhere. Just make absolutely sure to avoid getting crushed by walls, unless you're curious about what the Game Over screen looks like.
I knocked the first Trouble Shooter for being too easy, yet tempting as it may be, I can't extend the same criticism to the sequel. Lives are exceedingly generous and a 1CC is enough to guarantee the max 999,999 score, but neither detail really bothers me. I look at the "hi-score" as how many lives are remaining when the final boss is defeated. Also, even though the jump in difficulty isn't as high as it could've been, this sequel is more committed to its philosophy. Each stage presents a completely fresh set of circumstances and challenges. Getting through them isn't too tough, but there's still a big incentive to play smart and keep losses to a minimum.
What makes the level-design work so well is balance. Expectations are toyed with regularly, but it never gets to the point where damage (or death) seems unavoidable. Stage 4 is a dangerous trip into Kikokukyou's bowels. All of the narrow corridors put players in a constant state of unease. The game will play around a little and even dole out a couple of mini-heart-attacks by forcing Mania into sudden tight spots. Even then, it has enough restraint to avoid cheap methods to steal lives and artificially extend playtime. There's a noticeable confidence that emanates from this STG. It knows it works in peculiar ways and ensures the player doesn't become the target of any jokes.
There's probably a lot more I'm supposed to say in a Battle Mania: Daiginjou review, but eh... I can't imagine what's missing. Sure, I'd love to have something to complain about, no matter how inconsequential. Any excuse to pad out a review is a good excuse. Sadly, that's just not happening. Maybe the recent string of middling titles has thrown me off, and I need the raise the bar again by covering nothing but greats, unlock the full extent of my analytical powers... How disgusting! I'd rather think about that dream website of mine, the imaginary place where I publish reviews that are just a thousand variations of "Oh my shit! This fucking rules hard! DANG!!!"
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| At least I have my kickass wallpaper for that mythical website. |
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