While shopping around for material that I could use for the 2026 Special, I stumbled upon Swords & Bones 2. Being a mere 69 cents was pretty much all the reason I needed to scoop it up. From what glancing at their store page tells me, SEEP (the developer) puts out three to four games a year. These are often throwbacks designed to evoke the spirit of the classics they grew up with. Their latest game is Codename: Black Crow, and it shares at least a passing similarity with the likes of Final Zone 2, Last Alert, and other overhead shooters. I'll have to keep that game in mind when I start on the "Guns! Guns! Guns!" special in 2028...
Now as for this game, I suppose there's surprisingly little about it that's worth complaining over. Starting off a review with quarter-hearted praise isn't ideal, but this was literally my first thought once the credits started rolling. For all intents and purposes, I got exactly what I expected. This is a competently constructed hack & slash about a warrior named Berenice who fights through 51 stages to avenge her fallen kingdom. Each stage - which features the expected gamut of monsters and hazards - takes a minute or two to finish. Your goals are twofold: collect a trophy and reach the end. Trophies are often placed in locations that require special abilities to access and are necessary to achieve the best ending.
Sword & Bones 2 isn't frictionless, but it is designed to move you along at an almost constant pace. Upon completion of the first stage, you'll understand exactly what's expected of you as well as Berenice's strengths and weaknesses. Naturally, her weapon is a sword and while it lacks reach, it offers serviceable coverage. Enemies tend to move slowly or not at all, so even if most take multiple hits to down, it's never any trouble to back away or strike them from behind to avoid damage. Oh, and you don't have to worry about an infinite supply of monsters flying in from the sides. What you see is what you get, every time.
Berenice also carries a shield capable of blocking both projectiles and contact with foes. It's nice to have for emergencies and all but required for the bosses, who rely on their hefty bulk to bash into warrior princesses. I say emergencies because the shield has a limited number of uses per stage. Better shields can be purchased if you need them. One annoyance with this defensive option is that it doesn't protect the face, and there are several attacks designed specifically to sail over shields. I get that it's by design, incentivizing players to practice positioning and good judgment instead of just hiding behind a hunk of metal, but... you know how annoying it is when something hits you in the face.
Sword & Bones 2 also has platforming. There were never any feelings of "Wow! This is neat!" or "Wow! I hate this!" while hopping from one ledge to the next. It is just something that exists. Something I appreciate is that while a few ceilings are lined with instant-death spikes, Berenice isn't going to collapse and fade from existence if her hair happens to graze them. A bad jump is by far the least-likely cause of death, which might be a little odd for an action-platformer. I'm not saying I'd prefer the alternative, but it did feel strange just how smoothly these parts of the game went. Maybe I just can't appreciate a good thing even when it hits me... in the face.
Bosses take 1 to 3 attempts to defeat. They exist. I seriously can't think of anything I want to add besides try using the shield. Berenice gets a second of invulnerability after blocking an attack, enough time to land a couple hits.
While there are a few loose threads I should pull on, there's something about Sword & Bones 2 that pushes me away from even thinking about them. I guess it's simply because the game fell squarely in line with my expectations. No elation. No disappointment. I spent 69 cents and got an hour and a half's worth of playtime. Cool.
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