Over a decade grinding away in the professional critic sphere has broken my brain like a cheap vase. Nowadays, the instant I write about a game, it's placed in the "finished" cupboard and locked away for a very long time, possibly forever. I operate on the logic that since there are so many games left to review; it would be unproductive to continue playing something when I've already shared my thoughts on it with the world. When you're caught in a bear trap, sometimes you have to gnaw off a limb to escape... or something. Seriously, if I don't talk about Warriors: Abyss right this instant, it'll drain another 20 to 30 hours of my life like it was vacuuming dust off of a cheap vase.
The plot of the game is quite simple. You died, went to Hell, and a punk kid has tasked you with slaying Gouma. Gouma sits at the bottom of the Abyss, guarded by hundreds of thousands of slimy minions and some elite monsters. What follows is essentially Dynasty Warriors meets Vampire Survivors. Form an alliance of heroes from across the Tecmo-Koei universe, gather as much strength as possible in nearly 30 floors, create the ideal demon-hunting formation, and attempt to crush an evil that not even Hell wants to put up with. This roguelite is both absurdly complex and ridiculously simple. There are, let's just say, a ton of playable characters, all with their own move-sets, who learn new abilities by collecting enough emblems. When certain thresholds are met, then likeminded heroes will synergize, unlocking even more buffs that last until the end of a run. The potential combinations are too numerous for the average human to memorize. Thankfully, that punk kid (I think his name is Enma?) will gladly design an optimal formation if you ask him nicely. In-between runs, karma can be spent to obtain more characters or give them permanent boosts. This is the kind of game that prides itself on stealing time until none remains.
The moment-to-moment gameplay can be summed up as "press attack buttons while avoiding anything purple". It's as I said, ridiculously simple. What I didn't say is that it's easy. Enemies hit hard and fill the screen with violet death. Depending on the severity of the attack, the player-character can expect to lose anywhere from 10% to 66% of their health. Getting stunned or knocked down will also halt their momentum, allowing adversity to create more chaos. At the end of each area is a boss. Defeating them is just a matter of dodging and countering their attacks, then laying into them with summons when the opportunities arise. Warriors: Abyss is generally good at teaching the important mechanics and streamlining the details, leaving you to focus on the slaughter.
Since this game utilizes both temporary and permanent upgrades, it makes shaking free from its icy grasp all the more difficult. During a run, your chosen hero's power is represented by a large number, and seeing it grow feels just as good as chugging serotonin. Warriors: Abyss constantly incentivizes experimentation via randomized recruits, and their synergies ensure that practically any formation will be strong enough to beat Gouma. Also, depending on whether or not they're "chosen", heroes might be able to earn extra karma during a run. Though you might start out just playing favorites, it won't be long until you're trying out the entire roster and getting all sorts of interesting results from the formations that are built around them. These endless possibilities are fun to play around with and help to make up for the mundanely structured campaign. I don't even mind that the same areas and bosses appear in every run, at least not anymore. Perhaps the repetition was a problem at one point, but now all I think about is how quickly my build is going to decimate everything it comes in contact with.
Apparently, the ultimate goal is to defeat Ruinous Gouma, the true last boss. In order to reach this fiend to end all fiends, players must clear Traversal Levels 1 through 5. Higher levels mean tougher foes and better rewards. Provided you've unlocked everyone and gotten a lot of practice in, clearing the first five levels isn't going to be a huge ordeal. Traversal Level 6 however... that level is designed specifically for the maniacs who have transcended all of their best characters and maxed out cumulative levels for the best possible starting stats.
I didn't believe it myself at first. Getting through Level 6 with a far-from-optimal character is tough, but nowhere near insurmountable. It wasn't until the final bosses that I realized "Oh. I need to grind like hell to get past this, don't I?" It's one thing to be taken from full health to death in a few hits, but Gouma and the legendary warriors that precede it go a step further by being absolute units. My character & formation must've been severely underpowered, because the most they could was tickle damage. Somehow, I managed to defeat them, and my perseverance was rewarded with a visit from Ruinous Gouma.
Words can't even begin to describe how poorly my attempt at the true last boss went. First off, I'm astonished that somehow the past 25 or so hours of Warriors: Abyss still wasn't enough to prepare me for its Cave shmup of a finale. While hundreds of demonic soldiers are capable of peppering the screen with danger, it's not hard at all to stop them before they strike. Ruinous Gouma though... that bastard does whatever it wants and there's nothing I can do except dodge. Naturally, the scant moments I had to land some hits meant nothing. I was using Rachel at the time, and her machine gun might as well have been firing scented cotton balls. Even her halberd was hitting as hard as soap bubbles.
While no attempt at Ruinous Gouma is ever truly a failure, spending an hour and a half on a run only to get crushed is awfully harsh. I'll accept partial blame for not realizing I was in over my head when the bosses prior to the finale were all tanked up. Plus, I mean, it's the maniac setting. Taking on the ultimate challenge is going to stretch all things "fair & balanced" to their breaking point. Still, it would've been nice if there was a way to practice the true last boss and learn his patterns. It probably won't matter until I build a character and/or a formation capable of actually scratching them, so... meh.
It's around this time that the realization struck. If I don't give myself an out, I'll sink even more sleepless nights in this monstrously addictive game. Warriors: Abyss is the kind of roguelite that appeals to me. It combines multiple things I love (The grind, Omega Force, random synergies, etc.) to create a time devourer that not even Serge and his friends could stop. The satisfying gameplay loop and easy-to-engage-with design make repeatedly slaying a thousand or so baddies a minute even more compelling than it sounds.
Still, I've got to move on. There are so many games that need reviewing.
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