Everything wants you dead!
Oh, and you're going to be late for school.
That's the basic premise behind Kendo Rage, a hack & slash platformer where you rush through waves of ghosts and maniacal wildlife. At the end of each round, you'll contend with a vicious rival. Time is not on your side. You'll get bad endings if you're late... not that the good ending is much better. The difference between the two is mostly a matter of pride, something you'll need a bit of survive this adventure. What we have here is a video game that's very lean, but also a bit unforgiving. It was the style at the time. Release a game that most players can somewhat easily survive until the last level, then throw them in "the grinder". For some, it's an opportunity to push their gaming skills to new heights. Others will succumb to frustration and possibly rage.
Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Before going much further, I confess that maybe "somewhat easily" is lifting more than it should. As early as the first level, players will quickly realize that their adventure will not be a forgiving one. Josephine is about as squishy as the average Belmont. Four hits are all it takes to bring her from full health to full death. Enemies are also a bit more plentiful than the typical Castlevania and not afraid to attack from multiple directions at once. They don't respawn when killed, which is appreciated. The catch of course is the clock, doing psyche damage with every tick. Logically, you'll have a better chance of success if you play slow and methodically. That tends to fly out the window when you glance at the clock. At that moment, the urge to hurry along gets the better of you. Before you realize it, you've bumped into an enemy, lost your rhythm while dodging a series of attacks, or flat-out lost a life.
Again, the difference between endings is so miniscule that being late should mean nothing. There's something about video games though, how they make players commit to multiple play-throughs and deal with waves of emotions, all with just a line of text. The 16-bit era was particularly egregious. Several ending screens will tell you "Not bad. Now play normal mode." and then "Good job. Now play hard mode." and then "Great job. Now play very hard mode." and then "Fantastic job! Now play maniac mode." only to finally be told "Congratulations, maniac." Josephine being late for school doesn't lead to the end of the world. Nevertheless, the clock influences every action, compounding the player's chances of actually reaching the end. "It's a marathon, not a sprint." I tell myself repeatedly while myself repeatedly tells I to shut the hell up with the "loser" talk. Needless to say, we tried to rush through Kendo Rage and suffered for it.
The first boss sets the pace that should be followed: measured and consistent. Her attacks have a very clear pattern, punishing anyone who gets greedy with trying to land more hits. One thing that will become apparent before long is that while most enemies are crushed in 1 or a few hits, bosses get progressively more durable with every passing level. It's a tricky balance, designing a boss that takes a lot of hits but doesn't require a long time to defeat. I think the game is mostly successful at it. Players are encouraged to stay back and watch for openings.
Future levels play out in similar fashion. The locales and sometimes the architecture will change, but most time in levels are spent hacking through a bunch of foes while engaging with fairly basic platforming. A couple gimmicks come into play like the requisite underwater and auto-scroller levels. Getting around isn't the worrisome part, especially since there aren't traps, mazes, or bottom-less pits. There are, however, a lot of monsters all trying to take a piece out of Josephine. The level of difficulty is a very clear upward curve. The things originally taken for granted - full-healing items - become increasingly rare until they disappear entirely.
In spite of the odds, it shouldn't be too much trouble for most players to reach the final level. Josephine immediately respawns after dying, so defeating bosses through attrition is possible. That all changes in the final level, "the grinder" portion of the game. It's a Boss Gauntlet. Unlike refights in some other games, the rivals aren't weakened in any way. In fact, many of them have received new attacks and patterns. You can pick up yellow orbs, which allow the heroine to take extra hits, but no healing items. Naturally, the gauntlet ends with a final boss, who has three increasingly dangerous phases to contend with.
In what is essentially the last third of the game, I have to unlearn all of the bad habits I developed over the course of my playthrough, such as relying on attrition to defeat bosses. Providing additional stress is the fact that running out of lives means redoing the entire gauntlet, provided I had any continues left. Then there's the final boss himself. His three phases all have their own health bars. If that somehow wasn't enough, defeating the final phase will likely require some very particular attack timings. Basically, hitting a boss will cause them to flash for a few frames. providing just enough time for the player to run or jump through them without taking damage. This is exactly what being "the grinder" is all about. Backloading the most significant jump in difficulty isn't something I tend to like in video games, but I respect what the developers went for here. It gives Kendo Rage a spicy flavor that keeps it from being immediately forgotten, like so many other action-platformers of the era.
Uh... honestly though, I don't really like playing this game. Josephine is a large target, and her attack is delayed just enough that attacking on reaction sometimes doesn't work. This creates instances of cheap damage, typically inflicted by small yet quick creatures. Besides the yellow orbs, there are other orbs that changes Josephine's attacks so she can fire projectiles when her PSY meter is full. It doesn't seem to affect her damage output enough to matter. The 6th boss is a tennis match that instantly loses its charm in the gauntlet. Speaking of, I'm just not a fan of boss gauntlets in general. Just not a fan at all. Yeah, I know I said that it's what gives this game its flavor, but it's a flavor I can live without.
Give Kendo Rage a try if you're curious, but chances are you'll have more frustration than fun.
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