Game Boy Advance Look - Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

Seeing as how I've played Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance on and off again since its release way back in 2002, I'm left with no choice but to write something about it. This is an underrated entry in the series. It's overly lean and a bit messy in parts, but my goodness it feels great to play. It's a constant series of rhythmic button taps that compels me to continue until the credits roll. This is one of those games that I think really benefits from using an arcade-stick. Yeah, not exactly possible with the original hardware, but who cares nowadays? The Castlevania Advance Collection is a perfectly fine method for enjoying this classic. Although, as you've surely noticed, I opted for emulation. My most recent play-through uses the Visual Improvement romhack. 

One aspect of this game that I've never given enough thought to in the past is its art-direction. Dracula's Castle is described as a "Creature of Chaos", and this is one of the entries that best exemplifies that theme. The psycho-surrealist architecture and sometimes incomprehensible backgrounds make for a particularly unwelcoming yet intriguing visit. It probably says something that the only normal room Juste Belmont finds is the one he immediately claims as his own. Also, this is quite literally two castles in one. Both are in various states of disrepair, as if the "Creature" is still trying to form itself. Navigating between them is confusing at first, which is partly by design and partly bad design, but I can look past that. If anything, it makes a Randomizer play-through more appealing. Anyway, the amount of detail in each area is really impressive. Finding items and equipment in the castle's darkest recesses is always nice, but the real treat almost always lies in the background. 

Rather than attempt to discuss this game's music, I'm just going to say that the Castlevania 35th Anniversary Remastered Soundtrack by DavSound is incredible. It encompasses all four games in the Advance Collection and goes even further by creating additional arrangements for Harmony of Dissonance. Absolutely give it a listen if you haven't already. As for the in-game music... Hm... At least the compositions are better than in Gradius Galaxies. Yeah, I know that's a random aside, but I've been playing it recently and the audio quality is rough. All one can do is lament the Game Boy Advance's lack of a sound chip and move on.

Okay now let's finally dig into the real good stuff: the controls. I can't talk enough about how amazing this game feels. Initially, I was a little put off by Juste Belmont's Scooby-Doo run animation, but the amount of time actually seeing it is nil. In a genius move that unfortunately couldn't be carried over to subsequent entries, the dash-buttons are mapped to L & R. Dash forwards, dash backwards, dash any time and all the time. It's great! Cancelling out of a dash with an attack or jump is seamless. What are some of the things that I always say? Second-nature? As easy as turning one's palm? Yeah, those also apply. Still, I believe it's the act of button-pressing that really brings everything together. The consistent tapping sound and accompanying "swish" work in concert to create a really satisfying feedback loop, emphasizing that I am in 101% control. 

It only gets better once Juste acquires traversal powers. The first is the slide, and it's the best slide to ever grace a Metroidvania. I don't say this lightly, because Richter's slide from Symphony of the Night & Portrait of Ruin is no slouch, but Juste's slide is raw power. Tying its strength to the whip was such a brilliant idea. Sliding through the opposition is a marvelous way to traverse. The few enemies that take more than one hit add just the right amount of technical depth. Land those hits with the whip, then finish with the slide. Again, this is all in service to the rhythm of battle, the rhythm of exploration. Utilizing both means of attack to efficiently cruise through the castles never becomes tiresome.

The double-jump & dive-kick are also integral to Harmony of Dissonance. Mastering both will allow players to pick up certain key-items early. Dive-kicks are powerful enough to immediately dispatch weak enemies, perfect for all those rooms where Juste has to head downwards. They also serve as a means for him to hit the ground quickly, so he can resume sliding or set up the next maneuver. Whether on the ground or in the air, the vampire hunter has a lot of versatility. The final upgrade being the super jump is just perfect. Speed, momentum, efficiency; this game showcases an almost startling understanding of all three. 

Admittedly, I can't offer a thorough explanation of all the sub-weapons and spellbooks. They all have a purpose, with some being more useful than others. Creative uses of Ice + Fist can help you reach certain areas, and that's always cool. When I'm playing, however, it's all about Thunder + Cross and Wind + Cross. These two combinations kill bosses. The only difference is that Wind + Cross has a learning curve to achieving its maximum usability. Cross by itself is also very strong, suitable for those times when there isn't enough MP for spells. Other players can (and probably should) use the other spellbook and sub-weapon combinations, but who knows if I'll ever take that advice. The overpowered stuff is too much fun to do without.

Next on the review checklist is the boss-battles. This set of archfiends encapsulates quantity over quality. A few bosses are simply a regular enemy that's been super-sized, and occasionally they don't even get a chance to show off their moves before a maniacal Juste breaks out the most busted spellbook combinations. Perhaps these factors contribute to why I don't mind fighting any of the bosses in this particular game. There are a few adversaries that take it to the next level: Pazuzu and Maxim come to mind. Still, even when the fights are mediocre, I still have fun with them. Circle of the Moon is more peaks and valleys when it comes to bosses, and those valleys... Yikes! Only way I'd ever revisit the 2nd form Dracula fight in that game is if I lost a bet and my mind all at once.

I love just how streamlined Harmony of Dissonance is. Perhaps I'm starting to appreciate the action-adventure games where I know exactly what's expected of me, or that I don't feel it's necessary to have x item or x equipment to finish the game. There are rare-drops and a little bit of shopping, but neither serve a real purpose beyond being a nice little bonus or something to fall back on if the player is struggling. Everything I could ever need is easy to find and doesn't require farming or luck to obtain. That said, there are a couple of locations I tend to farm, such as the hall of glass skeletons, but usually that's only if I'm playing an unfriendly Randomizer. 

Mainly, what I want to say here is that the game is defined almost entirely by its fundamentals and movement. The basic, advanced, and expert techniques are all centered on creating the most efficient route around or through enemies. I can't bemoan the lack of abilities common to past and future Metroidvanias, simply because everything that this entry does, it does extremely well. The Castles aren't going to win over anyone on the first visit, but if they grew on me, then maybe they'll grow on someone else. 

2025 Special - Knight Quest & Deadly Towers (?)

When I started the 2025 Special, it was solely for the purpose of seeking out all of the Legend of Zelda & Zelda-like videogames that I've missed out on, as well as those that I thought were worth revisiting. For all those diligent readers* out there, it's clear that I've strayed from this purpose multiple times already. Just off the top of my head, there have been Diablo-clones, an adventure about a frog prince, oh and that really boring beatemup. Now I'm here with Knight Quest, a turn-based RPG for the Game Boy. Sheesh! If I keep bending the rules, I'll get stuck playing Dragon Quest until my body explodes into cosmic particles. 

There must be an explanation for such foolishness, and there is! Sort-of... Well, it starts with Deadly Towers. That's right! The very same Deadly Towers that acquired a reputation for being one of the worst NES games ever made. Originally, I had planned on covering it for the 2025 Special. I've played through worse, so this should've been no prob- actually no, this game is misery incarnate. It's like reaching into sack full of middle fingers to pull out a turd. It's Tower of Druaga made by people who hated Tower of Druaga.

Allow me to try and break down exactly what makes Deadly Towers such an ordeal. 

1. Before I can even think about tackling the towers, I have to head to the dungeons. Each dungeon consists of over 100 rooms but has only one exit. The goal is to find the shop that sells the best healing items and farm enough cash to stock up.

2. Getting cash is the easy part, since I can just farm stacks of balls for several coins at once. The problem is finding the shop and the exit. Afterwards, I have to climb cliffs to reach the towers. These cliffs have spots where the protagonist can fall to his death, and monsters aren't shy about giving him a little nudge.

3. Once I reach the tower, I have to find the hidden zones to obtain the best equipment. The entrances are invisible and basically require a guide to find. The alternative is wandering into every corner of every floor. Hidden zones also tend to be packed with severely strong enemies who kill in just a few hits. This is where those healing items are put to use.

4. After all of the necessary equipment is obtained, then I can finish climbing the towers and defeat the bosses that lord over them. However, reaching this all-important step depends on whether or not I've already ran screaming from this rathole of a planet after repeating steps 1 through 3 a dozen times. 

I'm not fucking with all of that. If there is a fan of Deadly Towers out there, then I hope that they can accept at least one of the thousand apologies I'm sending their way. If none of them are accepted, then they'll just have to settle with a look at Knight Quest. It was made by Lenar, the developer of Deadly Towers. It has to count for something! 

Moving along. The goal of this Game Boy product is to serve your king with loyalty and honor. That's accomplished by killing all of his enemies. Were you expecting something else? Of course you weren't. Anyway, you'll be tasked with finding a villain's lair, sneaking past or fighting off their minions, and eliminating them in one-on-one combat. It's a basic formula repeated five times, with occasional detours adding the resemblance of spice. Take control of a young man named Will. He walks in four directions. His hobbies are fighting and shopping. As far as protagonists go, he's a mayonnaise sandwich. 

The world of Knight Quest consists of a handful of maze-like areas, all of which packed with monsters that wander in predetermined paths or fly directly (but not speedily) at the hero. There is a very real level of thought put into this aspect of the game. You must decide whether to fight or evade. Fighting leads to gains in both cash and experience, and you'll need a lot of both to survive encounters with villains. However, fighting will drain your HP. Getting into too many fights might leave you too weak to achieve victory. The push & pull of this system is what gives its hook, providing just enough compulsion to keep the game from being just another mind-numbing process to waste a day or two on.

The battle system also has an interesting twist. Instead of just having a "Fight" command, there are four different attacks to choose from. Each type of enemy that you'll contend with is weak to only one of them, so a little bit of experimentation and memorization is required. Enemies also have a significant chance to strike first, so even if you can eliminate them in a round or two, it's still possible to lose a decent chunk of health. Consider this another reason to avoid unnecessary fighting. Grinding is a necessity, but it's just more convenient to take care of that business while next to an inn. 

Besides choosing a method of attack or drinking a healing potion, Will can also use magic. These are consumable items that do a fixed amount of damage. Their usefulness for most of the game is negligible, unless you keep an inventory stocked with crystals. Crystals do around 125 damage to an enemy, and nothing you face will ever have more than 900 HP. Also, spells never seem to miss, a luxury not available to your normal attacks. If you show up to a boss battle carrying a stack of crystals, then that boss is dead. 

If you're seriously craving a replay of Knight Quest, there might be some value in attempting to finish it at a lower level of experience. That would require avoiding more fights and being more careful with item usage. Otherwise, I can't imagine sticking around once that first play-through is over and done with. This is a short RPG, one where not a single dungeon consists of more than a few screens. The concept and execution are passable, but everything beyond that is just a mayonnaise sandwich with a few specks of pepper. 

I suppose it's better to be relentlessly bland than irredeemably insufferable. Not sure if that's nearly enough to warrant a play-through, but at least you'll get to see some neat battle animations. 

*Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

2026 Special - Catslevania: Portrait of Ruin - Maria +

Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin is a great entry in the Igavania saga. Sure, it might have had a troubled development, some corners were cut, and a few bugs remain, but whatever. It might even be my personal favorite of the Nintendo DS games. I think my favorite aspect is the rich combat mechanics. There are a lot of tools to play around with. The damage-stacking exploit is also lovely. Normally tough enemies exploding under the weight of a number geyser is absolutely wonderful. Shame the partner system doesn't quite reach its full potential. Charlotte just needed a little more flexibility, a proper dive-kick, mid-air spells... Well, at least romhacks have done a fine job of fleshing her out.

Today's hack isn't one of them. Instead, this is the Maria (and Byakko) show. Maria was already playable in the original, so here she received main character treatment. Now she can equip weapons, armor, and Jonathan's weapon skills. I'm aware of at least a couple of hacks that change the numbers around, so Jon can't immediately master the shuriken & dart to trivialize the game, but that wasn't the case here. If anything, this hack leans into the fact that Maria Renard is one of the most overpowered individuals to ever become a vampire hunter. Just to give a random example: you know how Jon can wield Zweihanders and other two-handed swords, but he has to sacrifice speed for raw power? Maria doesn't believe in sacrifice. In fact, she throws heavy blades around as if they were as light as her trademark doves. This is a boss-killer all on its own.

Taking Charlotte's place is Byakko. There are few things cuter than a spell-flinging feline, and that's exactly what he brings to the table. As a bonus, he isn't hamstrung with Charlotte's poor movement tech. Once the requisite abilities are acquired, the cat can perform diving somersaults, slide kicks, and other fun maneuvers. His claws are also quite effective, especially if you take the time to hunt down upgrades. Being cat-sized allows one to more easily dodge enemies and even engage in a little sequence breaking. You may recall the frog form in the original Portrait of Ruin. It's still here, but you won't need it since Byakko (and Maria?!?) can fit into tiny crevices just fine. No matter which character you favor, there's plenty of versatility to go around. Certain moves also have a ton of i-frames, so feel free to slide or back-dash through the danger. 

It also has to be mentioned that the drop-rate for EVERYTHING is at least 12%. That's insanely high by Igavania standards, and I love it! If I'm after a certain item, I don't have to loop a specific enemy for several minutes just to (maybe) get it. The romhack was clearly designed for the duo to have easy access to all of the toys. Builds that rely on particular skills no longer require farming. It's a beautiful thing. 

You're probably wondering if the castle and its minions have changed to meet this new opposition. That is absolutely not the case, I'm afraid to say. Brauner's forces probably could've used some boosted stats or greater numbers, but what's here is totally in line with the default game. Anyone with Portrait of Ruin experience is going to stomp massive holes into the opposition, and that's without digging into the damage-stacking exploits. I had a fight with Keremet - that slime boss in the cauldron - where it kept trying to target Byakko and failing miserably. The one-sided slaughter only increases in one-sidedness towards the end of the game. Final Guards will drop the Moonlight Greatsword. Yes, the same sword that appears in all those From Software titles. It's a light element blade, and almost everything in Portrait of Ruin is weak to light. If for whatever unholy reason that still isn't enough, you can fight Richter to unlock Maria's enhanced doves. I took these feathered fiends to the Death & Dracula finale, and the results were disgusting. 

I have to mention that Portrait of Ruin has a very fluid approach to difficult. There's a hard mode, and players are welcome to apply a level cap to challenge themselves further. If you're feeling especially saucy, you can choose to go without the overpowered stuff. I on the other hand love breaking the enemy into tiny tiny pieces. The creator of this romhack understood the assignment. Maria in Castlevania: Rondo of Blood was an anomaly. If there were any rules governing 1792 Transylvania, none of them applied to her. She was the anime protagonist crushing legions of undead with her animal friends. Catslevania continues on that trajectory, giving her even more power as well as introducing a partner who mastered every spell in the book. What follows is quite simply, a damn good time.

If you love Portrait of Ruin and want a fast-paced adventure with a fun duo who kicks comical amounts of butt, then you should check this romhack out ASAP. 

2026 Special - Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow - Persephone

I don't want to make a habit of reviewing romhacks, but since this is one of the few methods for playing through Aria of Sorrow with a female character, I figured why the hell not. Alright so the deal with this particular hack is that instead of Soma, you're playing as Persephone. In the original game, she's the maid who kindly greets you and then immediately busts out the kung fu. Here she's much more versatile, utilizing both kicks and magic to slay the adversaries who would dare vie for her lord Dracula's power. 

Besides a new story, a typical play-through of this romhack is quite similar to the original. You'll explore each area in the same order as before, contending with the same foes in the same places. Thankfully, that feeling of sameness never takes hold, and that's due to two factors. One is that Persephone is skilled in magic and can dish out some mean kicks, but her choice in armor leaves a lot to be desired. In short, she's rather squishy, so rushing headfirst into baddies is a bad idea. Two is that the order in which she obtains souls has been changed significantly. The drop-rate is also much higher than usual. This allows players more opportunities to customize their favorite butt-kicking maid. 

The first 2/3rds of the game are surprisingly challenging. It never occurred to me just how much I relied on decent armor, so having to go without led to some pretty rough sections, particularly in the arena. That said, it's around this point that Persephone can pick up some serious upgrades. The Valkyrie boots give her a Kaiser Knuckle-like multi-hitting attack that shreds most anything. The armor she picks up practically doubles her defense, which is huge. Several other weapons and accessories become available shortly afterwards, turning what was once a humble maid into a warrior goddess. I can't complain about that, since getting ridiculously strong is in my opinion one of the Igavania series' finest qualities. 

There's not much else to say here. If you're itching to replay the always enjoyable Aria of Sorrow, but are also craving a fresh twist, then the Persephone romhack is an easy recommendation. Increasing the drop-rate of souls and mixing up the order in which they're obtained was a brilliant move. Some of the skills are also entirely new, even offering a little synergy that wasn't seen in the vanilla game. Altogether, it's an enjoyable little romp. Head on over here if you're interested.

Genesis Look - Dungeons & Dragons: Warriors of the Eternal Sun

 

With his castle under siege by the goblin army, Duke Barrik rallies his troops to make a final stand. All of a sudden, a tremendous force rips through his kingdom, and everyone is sucked into a void. While the goblins have disappeared, the castle has been transported to a mysterious realm. Now it sits under the light of an eternally burning red sun, with impassable cliff walls in every direction. The duke has tasked you to form a party of four adventurers. Under your leadership, they'll explore this unknown land in the hopes of finding allies to trade with. Expect danger, expect death, expect to reload your save when everything goes horribly wrong. This is Dungeons & Dragons: Warriors of the Eternal Sun, and I am already sick of saying the full title, so don't expect to see it again in this review.

Released in 1992 by Westwood Associates, this RPG provides the joys and pains of a D&D campaign, in a quaint package designed specifically for console gamers to enjoy. I can't help but recall my experiences with the Gold Box games that were released on PC in the early 90s. The two games that immediately spring to mind are Forgotten Realms: Unlimited Adventures and Dungeon Hack. Unlimited Adventures allowed users to create their own campaigns using a massive array of tools, sprites, and artwork. Its turn-based combat engine required strategic positioning. You'd move your party members around to directly assault the enemy, shoot them from afar with arrows and spells, or take a defensive formation to protect weakened allies. Dungeon Hack was basically a real-time dungeon crawler with randomized floors. Almost any foe could be dealt with by deftly moving around them, taking advantage of their slow response time to get some attacks in. Mastering this "dance" is required in order to survive fights with high-level fiends.

What the Genesis game does is mix the two in a manner that's feasible for a controller with only four buttons. Exploring the kingdom as well as the surrounding wilderness is done simply by moving the d-pad. Conversing with NPCs is accomplished by invading their personal space. Take some time to explore the castle, especially since it features a handful of dungeons hidden in the corners. Any and all indoors exploration is done via a first-person view. Besides the lack of a strafing, getting around is very easy. Anything noteworthy - such as items - are automatically picked-up, so don't worry about fumbling with a cursor or pixel hunting. The start button enters the camp menu, which encompasses everything from inventory management to resting. Provided their class allows it, your party members will immediately equip the best armor that's handed to them. Weapons and spells are assigned to the A & B buttons. This can be done via the inventory menu at any time, even during battle. The UI is really intuitive, allowing players who don't have the luxury of a manual to understand the basics. That said, familiarizing yourself with D&D fundamentals like resting to memorize spells and armor class (the lower the number is the better!) beforehand will be a big help. In short, Westwood did a great job here. 

Ah right. Before going any further, I should probably mention the four characters I used in my play-through. They were Flandre Duskrat the Fighter, Jennique Stokes the Cleric, Battle Bakraid the Magic-User, and Reika the Rogue. Yeah, I have a handful of OCs who tend to appear in party-based games. In fact, I believe I still have a screenshot from back when I used a few of them for a complete run of Baldur's Gate 1 & 2. 

Yes indeed. That's Flandre Duskrat, she's a Half-Elf / Half-Dwarf multi-classed Cleric & Ranger. I guess she's a pirate too, because why not. Okay but enough about her. The class-system in the Sega Genesis game isn't nearly as robust, but it does the job. A fighter takes the lead, wearing the strongest armor and swinging the mightiest blade. Clerics provide healing support and ensure that I'm not sleeping for 64 hours just to replenish 8 hit-points. Rogues specialize in spotting hidden doors and disarming traps... when they feel like it. In the original game, their "hide in shadows" ability was pretty broken, allowing them to practically solo the entire quest. I'm playing a romhack that fixes this. What the romhack didn't fix is the ridiculously good magic-user. Darkness can be cast on most any monster, causing them to miss all of their attacks. Tangle is even better, as it ties down even the mightiest of foes. I've slain a ludicrous number of red dragons with a basic level 2 spell. There are other classes like the Elf, who can cast spells and wear decent armor, but they're not really necessary. 

As I mentioned earlier, this is a D&D campaign on a cart. It's not especially lengthy but is designed in a manner that rewards the contributions of the four classes you've chosen. Everybody has a role to play, even if that role isn't properly realized for a while. The rogue, for example, isn't particularly useful for much of the adventure. For one thing, there aren't trapped chests to disarm. That changes when the party reaches the Azcan Temple, as its hallways are packed with dangerous traps. It's the rogue's time to shine! Well, sort-of. Sometimes Reika disarms a trap, but most times she can't be bothered. Thanks, I guess. On the bright side, there is something oddly strategic about finding safe areas to rest while in a dungeon. The party won't rest if monsters are nearby, so finding these "safe zones" is engaging gameplay. Also, saving the game isn't allowed in dungeons, which creates some very real tension later one when they turn into large multi-floor labyrinths. The means to revive dead characters are often in the least convenient places, like back at the castle or a magical puddle out in the farthest corner of a swamp.

The wilderness is where a sizable chunk of the game takes place. As far as overworlds go, it's pretty simple, with the areas you need to investigate located in three of the four corners of the map. Standing in your way are the occasional monsters, but mostly it's foliage; lots and lots of foliage. Sometimes, it feels like the simple act of walking is met with hostility. I'd spend an inordinate amount of time getting stuck on trees or having to make my way around stretches of forest to reach a destination. To be fair, sticking to the hardest to traverse areas ensures that enemies will almost never be encountered. In fact, if you really want to avoid a fight, you can just save your game the second you catch a glimpse of adversity. Load that saved game, and they'll be gone. 

If you choose to fight, then be aware that low-level D&D is grueling. It consists of hoping that your single-digit HP heroes aren't immediately clobbered by a light sneeze. These turn-based fights leave your weak heroes at the mercy of RNG. Grinding the 1 or 2 level-ups needed to keep the party out of the "immediate squish" zone is also tedious, because nothing in the vicinity is worth more than a few experience points. There are ways to minimize casualties, such as with the consistently underrated sleep spell, but sometimes we just want the easy answers to the hard questions. If you're up for it, there's a hidden dungeon that's packed with minotaurs. One of them is standing in the middle of a 9 x 9 room. It's a perfect setup, allowing players to circle around the horned foe while stabbing him repeatedly. Enemies respawn after leaving a dungeon, making this a primo spot to get those necessary early levels. Is it fair? Not really, but sometimes that's what winning a D&D campaign is all about. Sink or swim. Play to win. If the game allows it, then what's stopping me from exploiting it?

While equipment is generally found in the deepest corners of dungeons or behind secret walls, some of the best stuff can be bought, provided your level is high enough. Seeing as how ferocious red dragons are easily undone with a common spell, they're among the easiest targets to farm. A late-game dungeon even has one sitting just past the entrance. The catch of course is that anyone hoping to reach the level cap will have to slay hundreds upon hundreds of dragons, because 2,500 experience points doesn't go far when level-ups can require over 120,000. Hey, remember how tough the red dragon was in Capcom's Tower of Doom? Or the amount of preparation and setup necessary to defeat Firkraag in Baldur's Gate 2? Clearly, we should've called upon those Eternal Sun warriors. Considering the nonexistent effort required to destroy these overgrown flies, I suppose I shouldn't complain too much about the lack of experience points. Besides, reaching the cap isn't required to survive the endgame. If you're that adamant about it, then throw on a podcast or favorite band before getting your grind on. The music is good, but not "still listenable after killing the same enemy a thousand times" good. Admittedly, that's an impossibly high bar to clear.

This paragraph is usually reserved for nitpicks and complaints. Honestly though, I don't really have anything negative to say. Westwood took on the task of adapting a D&D adventure and nailed it. The story is mostly light, but offers some interesting twists, including one that was practically unheard of back in 1992. Both the overhead and first-person battle systems function quite well, especially so if you're actually invested in giving the enemy a fair fight. Even if you choose to break everything with overpowered spells, the adventure remains compelling thanks to its solid dungeon design. You might be able to dance around a foe with ease, but getting flanked or attacked from behind guarantees a quick end for your defenseless spellcaster, and it's a long trip back to the nearest priest. Dungeons & Dragons: Warriors of the Eternal Sun is a remarkable RPG for the Sega Genesis. 

Actually, I lied. There are a couple of issues. The inventory limit is quite small, resulting in a lot of item shuffling. Also, Wights and Wraiths can drain levels. Call me a hypocrite, but I don't think that's very fair. The only way to get that level back is to kill another hundred or so red dragons. 

Oh well.

Genesis look - Phantasy Star 2

Phantasy Star 2 is one of those classic RPGs that I've started to realize is a struggle to write about. I just finished a play-through less than a week ago. However, once again I'm staring at the infinite whiteness of a completely blank screen. I claim to be a fan of the classic Phantasy Star series, yet the only entry I can wholeheartedly recommend without a conga line of asterisks at the end is part 4. This is one of those times where I'm caught in the internal debate of how much of a game's problems are a result of the actual game and not just because of a particular way I decided to play through it.

This review needs at least one definitive statement, so here goes: Phantasy Star 2 is best experienced today with a romhack. You're absolutely going to want one that increases walking speed, doubles or even quadruples experience/meseta gains, and alleviates other issues such as the screen flashing whenever party members take damage. Here's a great hack that does all that and more. I've been playing this RPG off and on for almost 35 years, and there's absolutely no going back to the original. There's only one other serious problem that isn't nearly as easy to fix, and that's the lack of an auto-map. 

In fairness, this RPG is a dungeon crawler first & foremost. It lives and dies by the complexity of its dungeons as well as the brutality of its random encounters. Otherwise, there's little else to talk about. I mean, what can I possibly say about the whopping three boss-fights? They're tough no doubt, but so much of the game is spent on the lead-up, that players are liable to find themselves over-prepared. Some might think "Oh that Dark Force is going to be a serious pain". They'll show up with a wad of trimates, an average level of 38 or higher, only to be met with a boss that can be bumped off relatively easily. Heck, you could probably just have everyone but Rolf and Rudo dual-wield shields and tank both final bosses into oblivion. It's all about the journey and not the destination. This is where my attempts at a PS2 write-up hit a brick wall. If the journey is so important, why am I suggesting the means & methods to sand away all its friction until there's nothing left but the destination?

My internal deliberations on this subject are still ongoing, so my attempt at reaching a conclusion is almost entirely in service of this write-up. Either this piece ends or it ends me. With that said, let's consider why Phantasy Star 2 would need an auto-map. Look, let me just say it right now: some of this game's dungeons are too convoluted to be enjoyable. They're teleporter mazes, yet they're also not? Those panels that the party uses to jump between floors are called chutes. They're functionally the same as taking the stairs. In multiple instances however, dungeons come off as a series of teleporters, bumping the party between this floor and that floor. At no time does a location ever feel real. I can excuse part of the "that's by design" argument, because most of the facilities were built by Mother Brain, and not for humans to easily navigate. Still, I would've expected to see at least a little efficiency. If something breaks down, a technician should be able to - oh right. A central theme of this game is machines doing everything, leaving humanity without purpose. It creates a society that collapses the second the rug is pulled out from under them and - did another brick wall just magically appear in front of me?

Perhaps I'd be more forgiving of this game's philosophy if it wasn't for particular locations that exist solely to screw with me. Ikuto! No idea what anyone was thinking with this mess. Just look at it. You're supposed to fall into the right combination of holes to land in the rooms where the Neishot and Neislasher are kept. Imagine not having a map for such an ordeal. Granted, I'd still probably deal with this again over most anything in The Bard's Tale 2, but if I dare to invoke that ridiculous game, then perhaps there's a major issue here. Ikuto isn't a dungeon. It's that Plinko game they play on The Price is Right. I'm not even certain that an auto-map could save it, but having the full map just renders it pointless.

It's probably worth noting that the party is going to be hassled by monsters the entire time. Encounters are brutal early on and stay consistently mean for nearly the length of the adventure. Although, it also has some of Final Fantasy 1's reverse difficulty working against it. Upon reaching the Dams, you'll likely stumble onto incredibly useful (and overpowered) items like Amber Robes and Storm Gears. These cast a mid-tier healing tech and a mid-tier AOE, respectively. The Snow Crown is top-tier since it's a free Deban. Deban buffs the party's defense for the entirety of the battle. Enemies that did 45 damage might end up doing 15 or even less. It's very strong, and occasionally I wonder if I could ever imagine the late-game without it. However, the cycle of Snow Crown, Attack, and low HP party members using the Amber Robe or Crescent Gear in their pocket, starts to get pretty mind-numbing. The repetition is massively compounded by messy locales such as Ikuto, Menobe, Green Dam... Just thinking about all that has got my head spinning two different directions at once.

With every solution in my hands, reaching Mother Brain and achieving victory was less a game and more a process. All I did was go through the motions and slide through a frictionless series of locales. I was even fast-forwarding through the fights because they were foregone conclusions, and I've already seen the - admittedly fantastic - battle animations a thousand times over. If M2 could've done just one more Sega Ages release, they could've slapped an auto-map on Phantasy Star 2. At least then I'd feel obligated to earn something. Perhaps, I've just gotten soft. Too quick to soften the experience, even when it's unnecessary turmoil. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that however you decide to play through Phantasy Star 2 is the right way. If that means busting out the graph paper and grinding an hour just to afford Ceramic Knives, then sure, go for it. In the end, it's your experience that matters. All I offered was my point of view. 

... Yeah, that's it. There's likely a better realized conclusion I could've written, but that's a brick wall I'm just not in the mood to scale. 

Game Gear look - Ninja Gaiden

Ninja Gaiden on the Game Gear sounds like it could be cool, but this feels like a product thrown together on a whim. Ninja Gaiden in name only.  Now, it's not a completely different game. Players can still expect to run and jump through enemy-filled stages, using Ryu Hayabusa's dragon sword or sub-weapons to take down whatever gets in his way. That's absolutely the extent of the similarities though. All you really have to look forward to is a couple of side-scrolling stages that vaguely resemble the NES trilogy. Stage 3 is a climbing section where unseen enemies drop flowerpots and fire extinguishers on your head. Finally, there's a gimmicky series of pillar jumps that are designed solely to eat up the clock, making the final boss more stressful than it has to be.

I suppose this game should get at least a few points for having workable controls, a decently sized hurtbox, and... actually that's all I've got. There's only so many ways I can describe how little meat is on these bones. All Sega did to stretch out the playtime was fix it so that bosses do comically large amounts of damage. The invulnerability period is also short, so a couple of seconds is enough time to go from full health to dead. Best of all, when Ryu dies, he's kicked back to the very beginning of the stage. Talk about miserable game-design. 

Inevitably there comes a point in our lives where we feel obligated to play through every single game with ninjas. If this is you, then there's nothing that I can say that'll change your mind about playing through Ninja Gaiden on the Game Gear. Just don't expect much of anything beyond mild frustration.  

Super Nintendo look - Gradius 3

A year after its arcade debut, Konami released a port of Gradius 3 to the Super Famicom. It's this port that I'll be looking at today, mainly because it gives me the warm fuzzies. This is one of those times where I can't even pretend to be impartial, especially since this is one of those shmups that I've played on and off again for over 25 years. Comfort games are important. Everyone should have at least 10 or 1,000 of them. 

It is pretty humorous that Konami turned one of its hardest games into something that gives "warm fuzzies". I mean, why do that in the first place? The maniacs aren't likely to be interested in a scaled-back port that's missing enemies, stages, and most importantly, that soul-sucking level of difficulty that breaks players until they're nothing more than dust. My assumption is that Konami wasn't really concerned with reaching that particular audience. Their only concern was porting all of their games to every platform. Trying to find any deeper reasoning is a waste of time. Gradius 3 on the Super Nintendo is fine. It's functional, entertaining, and mild. The aggressive spiciness was toned down to make it more palatable to a wider audience. There's nothing wrong with that.

Before beginning the game, you're prompted to choose a weapon loadout or design your own with the edit mode. This is basically an expansion of the "type select" feature introduced in Gradius 2. I don't often go in-depth into the weapon systems in this series, since most of the time it's just a matter of figuring out whether you need the double shot or the laser to proceed through the current stage. Here, the various choices combine with the lighter difficulty to create a system that allows for flexibility. Concerns over whether or not your build is optimal enough to give your Vic Viper a chance at survival simply don't exist. If you want to get playful and use E. Laser & R. Option to create a boss-killing super weapon, then go for it. That build's limitations in other areas can be covered for with sufficient dodging skills. Minimalist playstyles are also possible and tend to present the added challenge of less slowdown. A ship with a full suite of options firing all at once places a sizable tax on the SNES hardware, making it easier to get through spicy situations. It's your choice in the end, so get creative and make your own fun.

What follows is a Gradius 3 experience that's appropriately scaled for console gamers. Meaning that however much they spent to acquire the game allows them guaranteed access to its entirety, whereas that single coin in an arcade machine wouldn't get them past the first stage. Anyway, this is a pretty solid introduction. You'll have to contend with the usual menagerie of air and ground-based targets. The rare sand dragon will rise from the dunes, which serves the dual-purpose of introducing stage-unique hazards and providing depth to the hostile galaxy you've started navigating. It's also a neat spectacle, even if it doesn't provide much of a fight on Normal difficulty. Perhaps this goes back to what I was saying earlier about comfy fuzzy wuzzy feelings. Effortlessly slaying dragons with my elite space-fighter? That's basically a power-fantasy, a way to unwind after the struggles of trying to maintain a job and a mortgage.

If you'll allow me to get sidetracked for a second, I want to mention the AM Show version of Gradius 3. Once thought to be lost forever, it's now readily available via Gradius Origins. One thing I picked up on while going through it is what appears to be Konami's approach to level-design. Basically, the stages in this version are long, excessively so. The 2nd stage with all of the bubbles is particularly outrageous. It's like the Vic Viper is flying through it multiple times just to pop more bubbles. This gives me the impression that Konami starts with excessively long stages crammed with every idea they come up with, which are then pared down to a reasonable length, while keeping whatever can maintain the player's interest. Perhaps I'm completely wrong about their approach, but that's the impression I'm being given.

More to the point, the bubbly stage is fine for what it is. There's the setup, the variety of different threats, and they're all blended together to create a scenario for you to shoot through. The stage ends just as soon as those "Alright. I've seen enough of this." feelings become apparent. I suppose that's not the most exciting description, particularly for a genre that lives and dies by this stuff, but there's not a lot to complain about either. This is still a checkpoint shooter, and concessions are sometimes made so that players aren't trapped in overly difficult situations. To put it another way, if a stage can't be completed with the barest minimum weaponry, then it has to be retooled. Gradius 3 often puts functionality over flair, which occasionally leads to bland scenarios.

I don't have to go very far to find an example, because stage 3 is right around the corner. The first half is a fun romp akin to the previous entries, but then it becomes a digging section where you shoot dirt and rocks for a light year or three. I'm not against dig stages as a concept, particularly since Konami themselves put out a fun one in Gokujou Parodius a few years later. This on the other hand just doesn't have the sauce. For all my complaining, this section only takes up a minute and a half of the entire game. Maybe it's because the slowdown here is massive and it's one benefit - making it easier to dodge projectiles - doesn't really factor in. 

Thankfully, the game picks up shortly afterwards thanks to having a variety of fun locales to visit. The trademark Moai stage is always a good time. There's a short yet potentially rough trip through a fiery cavern. I appreciate that the other trademark speed stage has gotten streamlined a little, lessening the trial & error routing that made the previous entry more arduous than it should've been. A decent set of final stages caps off this space adventure. On normal difficulty, every situation presents understandable problems with clear solutions, paced so that I never felt overwhelmed or bored. Maybe you'll feel differently, which is fair. Expert gamers aren't going to have a lot to chew on it when it comes to this port. There is the Hard level of difficulty, and the second loop presents a significant bump in challenge. However, 40 minutes spent waiting for the "real game" to begin is asking a ton. 

It's also worth noting that among other features, Gradius Origins has easy modes for every game. This setting shrinks the Vic Viper's hurtbox, making it a smaller target. Players are granted a large stock of lives to work with. Other changes can include more slowdown or rank increasing at a slower rate. For those players who have tired of SNES Gradius 3 but struggle to make meaningful progress in the arcade original, the easy mode serves as a great halfway option. I highly recommend checking it out.

Speaking for myself, I still enjoy playing through this port. Perhaps it belongs on my "comfy games" list next to Soulblazer and... Huh. Well, maybe I'll come up with some other games later. Point is, this is a fine shmup that I can just throw on and relax with. The gratuitous slowdown is bound to be a sticking point for some, but I'm fine with it. Everything moving like it's underwater just adds to the relaxation.  

PC Engine CD Look - Gradius 2

To put it simply, "Gradius Syndrome" is when the player is trapped in a hopeless situation. It's a term not limited to Gradius games, since dying at certain points in R-Type or anytime in Darius 2 will lead to the same result. What is considered a hopeless situation? Well, it starts with a lack of power. Typically, STGs feature power-ups that enhance the player's weaponry or provide some boon, such as a boost to speed or even a shield. Naturally, all of those upgrades are lost upon death. Additionally, the player is sent back to a previous checkpoint. In most cases, this is an opportunity for them to figure out where they went wrong, and obtain a few power-ups. If they can't recover, then it is either a failing on their part, or in especially rare cases: Gradius Syndrome. 

To understand how such a calamity can occur, we have to consider the nature of difficulty in video games. Difficulty does not exist in a vacuum. What might be too easy for one person could be impossible for another. Finding the right balance between the two extremes to provide an appropriate challenge for both players has been a part of game design since forever ago. It's a deeply human and endlessly fascinating subject. There's no real science at play here, just multiple people sharing their personal experiences, and pushing themselves as well as each other to limits unknown.

An arcade game is guaranteed to be tough to balance. On the surface, it's a game that the player could see the entirety of with just one quarter, or a single token, or just 100 yen, or... you get the idea. When games for the home consoles are priced to be dozens of times more expensive, then the thought of getting a full experience at a fraction of the cost is really enticing. However, it's also bad for the arcade operator's business. If the player can get 30 minutes of game time with one coin, then that's lost revenue. To avoid potential losses, the difficulty has to be cranked up, until that 30 minutes become 10, 5, or even 3 minutes. Now, if someone wants to see the end of the game, then they either have to keep feeding coins into the machine or spend hours, days, even weeks practicing until their lone coin can take them all the way to the credits. No matter which path you choose, the arcade operator and arcade manufacturer will get their money.

Over time, arcades started to produce individuals known as maniacs. Through years of practice, the maniac honed their skills to a superhuman level. They are the ones who can sit at machine for hours, all on the same credit. At times, their insights can be helpful to developers, provided they don't end up a nuisance who (sometimes literally) makes things harder for everyone. You see, the "early access" of yesteryear was known as a location test. Developers would bring an unreleased game to an arcade, and allow goers the chance to test it. Their feedback would be used to tweak the game before its official release. Worst case scenario is that maniacs show up to every location test, all with suggestions on how to make the game more difficult. Eventually, the final product ends up being too tough for the average gamer. When your entire audience consists of only maniacs, your ability to make a profit is drastically diminished. There have been cases where the console ports of arcade games were redesigned to be easier in the hopes of attracting non-maniacs. 

Now I wouldn't be saying all this if exceptions didn't exist, because we're looking at one right this minute; Gradius 2: Gofer no Yabou, a console port of Konami's classic shmup for the PC Engine CD. Before I go any further, I have to mention that this was released in December of 1992. That's two years after Gradius 3 was ported to the Super Famicom! I suppose this raises a few questions, but if Konami can release a Salamander port to the PC Engine in the prior year, then that's their business. Besides, maybe it was an opportunity for them to create arcade-quality ports of their games on hardware they're familiar with. Ports designed specifically to appeal to hardcore fans.

The second entry in Konami's most well-known shmup series is in a lot of ways the blueprint. It's a landmark title in both concept and execution. Every subsequent game, whether it's a Gradius, a Parodius, or perhaps even a Salamander or XEXEX, owes at least something to this trailblazer of a shmup. Right out the gate, the stages in this adventure are designed to invoke epic one vs many space battles. You're in control of the Vic Viper, an exceptionally powerful craft that is - as always - one tiny scratch away from oblivion. It is in your nature to persevere against insurmountable odds, fighting through the Bacterium horde, and conquering a galaxy's worth of enemy ships, cannons, and so much more. It is rich experience where every stage offers unique challenges to contend with, cruel situations to test your resolve, and suitably epic bosses to shoot down. 

It all starts with the first stage. Imagine flying through a field of red hot suns while facing the unrelenting assault of serpents. These devious beasts are not content with flying at you like some amateur. They twist and turn, all the while spitting molten rocks. Oftentimes they'll team up in an attempt to crush you between them. This is a free-range stage, allowing you freedom to move up or down. Be mindful of what's above and below, lest you find yourself flying straight up into a dragon's gaping maw. 

Now that you have an idea of what to expect, know that Gradius 2 grows more intense with every passing stage. The theming is exceptionally good here. There's an ice stage that packs the screen with as much ice as the hardware will allow. Their erratic movement and overwhelming supply make for a constant threat. Larger blocks will explode into multiple pieces, potentially compromising the route you'd like to take. A sound mind is one that can think of a way out in less than a second, and that's the bare minimum needed to survive a frozen hellscape.

In keeping with its status as the blueprint, this entry also introduces series traditions such as the speed stage. Moving much faster than usual, the Vic Viper must dodge cannon fire and crushing walls. The steep angular structure of the stage is almost iconic, and certainly deadly. Sharp maneuvers are a constant, and there's exceedingly little room for error. Then there's the boss rush, where you'll be facing a series of fiends not seen anywhere else. It's a great spin on the usual trope, which all too often settles for refights. Surviving those nightmares will lead players to the final stage, which has a massive assortment of obstacles designing specifically around crushing one's will. No doubt there's a lot to contend with here, and Konami managed to fit it all in a practically svelte 35 to 40 minutes.

If that sounds a bit longer than usual for Gradius 2, then it's because I'm accounting for the PC Engine CD's exclusive stage. Flying between the dunes, you'll have to be wary of columns falling both downward and upward. A few statues will come to life, leaping at you with their outstretched (and stony) claws. It's a fun little detour, and the last respite before the game enters maniac territory. 

A new stage is a nice extra, but what players really want is arcade accuracy, which is where this port does a really good job. Each section of the game has been deftly recreated. Every encounter, every possible scenario, it's all there with hardly a hint of slowdown. The occasional flicker is noticeable, but not too big a problem. This conversion is almost perfect in every other respect. I say almost because there are couple suspect hitboxes that aren't in the arcade original. I stumbled into one of them during the fight at the end of the boss rush, which stung pretty badly. 

For being the first of its kind, the speed stage in this entry is just plain mean. Besides the frequent sharp turns and dozens of cannons waiting to take their shot, you can expect to find a surprising number of dead-end paths. The few destructible walls require some heavy button-mashing to survive. There are frequent checkpoints here, but it's really in your best interest to avoid dying, because the boss rush is immediately afterwards. Yeah, um... that was not a great idea on Konami's part. They probably could've spaced that out better. Also, if you were expecting leniency from the first boss rush in the series, then that's just a damn shame. Dying to any of the bosses will kick you back to the beginning of the rush. 

The cruelty is cranked up to 12 in the final stage. Some of the most intense fights take place here. If you lose a life before destroying the mid-boss, then you're guaranteed a heaping dollop of Gradius Syndrome. How do I describe it? Well, imagine a serene hallway being turned inside out as your ship is obliterated by an instant wave of shrapnel. There is no escape here. Hit the reset button and try again from the very beginning. The other checkpoints are in the realm of manageable, but the cold reality is that Konami expects players to complete the last few stages without dying. That's an absurd ask for anyone who isn't a maniac.

Amusingly, one of the other instances of Gradius Syndrome can occur way back in the Moai stage. There is a mid-boss encounter where you'll face four statues all hopping this way or that, pelting the screen with untold numbers of rings. It's not a difficult fight for a Vic Viper at full power, but you absolutely don't want to mess up. Fighting these particular statues without good weapons will age you a century per minute. Now what makes this funny is that originally the fight was much easier, at least in the arcades. The problem was twofold; it was an easy fight, and the statues were worth huge points. This led players to repeatedly farm the leaping Moai heads for tons of extra lives. Konami was not the slightest bit thrilled about this discovery, and Gradius 2 saw multiple revisions before its time in the arcades had ended. It seems that the PC Engine CD version assumes that only maniacs would die to the Moai statue bosses, so the fight without power-ups has gone from doable to impossible. 

If all this sounds like a bit much, don't lose hope! An easy mode is available. I know that choosing such an option is an affront to one's pride, but I'd still recommend giving it a shot. There are some noticeable changes that should make it a smoother experience for anyone who doesn't consider themself a maniac. If that isn't you, then feel free to stick with Normal, or bump it up to Professional. Pros also have the second loop to look forward to. From that point on, enemies gain the ability to cough up revenge bullets aimed directly at their current position. Some people just enjoy the pain, and I can't shame them for that.

Gradius 2 on the PC Engine CD is everything you could ask for in a STG port. However, don't go into it expecting restraint. Konami was well aware that only maniacs were purchasing this in 1992. What starts as a reasonable challenge will eventually become needlessly sadistic. Either you're in it to push your skills to the next level, or you're a sicko like me who wants to see just how far a game is willing to go to devour someone's spirit. However, its 95% arcade accuracy might not be enough for aficionados, especially since that 5% can make or break an attempt. I think it's still an impressive effort and worth checking out.

Oh, and definitely grab Gradius Origins if you haven't already. 

Game Boy Look - Nemesis

Guess what? I totally forgot that Konami put out not one but two Gradius games for the Nintendo Game Boy. They just decided to call it Nemesis, because of course. It's bad enough that was the North American edition of Gradius 1: The Arcade Game. My mind is doing back-flips and curls trying to keep up with all of these nonsensical names. God damn. Imagine if there was a third entry. It'd probably be called Vulcan Adventure or A Very Salamander Christmas or bleaugh.

It's fine though. Absolutely A-OK. This is another solid shmup that manages to eke some shootin' goodness out of primitive hardware. Now fair warning, this entry is just as choppy as its successor, perhaps slightly more-so, but it is still very playable. If nothing else, the professionals at Konami were well aware of the Game Boy's limitations. They didn't do anything outlandish like cover the screen in bullets or give the player's ship a hurt-box the size of Minnesota. 

In fact, there is something I forgot to bring up in my review of Gradius: The Interstellar Assault. The shield power-up is actually incredibly useful. Like other entries in the series, the shield produces two star-shaped objects in front of your ship. Much unlike other entries however, you can take three hits before that shield disappears. I'm breaking out the italics here because I'm specifically referring to you, and not just your shield. An enemy flies into your rear-end? That counts as one hit. Your belly get rubbed by a bullet? Just the same. This isn't like other shields that dissipate the second you get within spitting distance of a wall. Gosh, I might have to stop playing these handheld games because they are spoiling me with their fairness. 

The five stages you'll be flying through adhere pretty strictly to Gradius traditions. Mobygames describes it as a "Greatest Hits" selection, and that's exact on the money. Expect to curve around mountains as enemies walk past firing bullets this way and that. A trip through fields of Moai statues turns deadly for the fourth(?) time. The action is pretty straightforward, with the biggest threats being the enemies that assault you from both directions. Obstacles such as walls are also commonplace, but don't expect anything too eccentric. There aren't mirrors that reflect lasers or waterfalls that push you into the ground. It's a very "meat and potatoes" shmup.

It's a basic game, but that lends it a slight edge over its sequel when it comes to replay-value. After defeating the final boss, the second loop aka stage 6 begins. The bullet-count is slightly higher, so there's a little extra stress to look forward to. That said, experts still won't have anything to sweat about. As far as first-timers are concerned, this is a very easy STG to hop into. They're welcome to set the starting stage as well as the starting number of lives. Why settle for 3, 5, or even 30? Go ahead and give yourself an even 99 lives. When I first discovered this I thought I accidentally entered a cheat code, but nope it's enabled by default. Very neat.

Nemesis is worth at least one play-through. It does exactly what it sets out to do, while also providing some kickass visuals and a good soundtrack. The 5 stages and their accompanying bosses are fun to tear through. I suppose the difficulty could be a lot higher, but making that work within the constraints of the Game Boy might involve some cheap nonsense like bosses requiring a dozen lives' worth of trial & error to find a safe-spot. What's here is fine. 

Absolutely A-OK.

Game Boy Look - Gradius: The Interstellar Assault

When it comes to Gradius, it's not often that expectations are played with. Typically, players will control the Vic Viper through a series of stages, all of which take place in a variety of sci-fi locales. In-between stages are brief sections wherein some enemies can be shot down for extra power-ups. Those who manage to survive long enough will inevitably face a "speed stage" where they must navigate tight corridors, all the while hounded by cannons and closing doors. Then there's going to be a boss rush, with all those circular ships appearing out of thin space. Oh! I absolutely can't forget about the giant walker robot near the end that tries you to crush you with its legs. What if there was an entry where the developer said, "Nah. I'm not doing all that." and shredded those expectations? It'd probably be a Gaiden of some sort... never mind. Let's just talk about this short yet solid STG for the Game Boy.

Gradius: The Interstellar Assault almost feels like a day in the life of an elite spaceship pilot. Predictably, everything goes to shit within the first minute. Just as soon as you're given control over the ship, the realization hits that you're being chased by a particularly ornery spacecraft. This sequence is not what anyone would expect to see in a shmup's first minute, and yet it works quite well. The less-than ideal framerate quickly becomes a distant memory thanks to the great controls. Anyway, after that harrowing escape, the first stage begins. It's distinctly Gradius, adapted to work for meager hardware. The pacing leans close to methodical, frequently punctuated by a variety of air & land-based craft, with a couple surprises to keep you on edge. The "free-range" portion of the stage, where your ship can scroll the screen up or down, is also finely crafted. Whatever difficulties you might run into are not the result of cheap enemy placement. 

After defeating the first boss - which looks awesome by the way - the music changes to something peppy, like you'd hear in-between the stages of the usual Gradius entry. Let's just say that doesn't last for long. In fact, you're immediately captured and imprisoned inside of a mothership. Also, they took your powered-up weapons away, which is pretty cute. After breaking out of your cage, you'll face a different set of enemies as well as new obstacles. It's a smart method for keeping the experience fresh. There's a whole galaxy out there, and you're just one ship causing a lot of trouble. Anyway, the prison breakout ends with an inspired boss-fight that relies on its giant fan to push you into laser walls. Destroy it and the mothership is history. Try to avoid celebrating too much, since there's still at least 10 minutes of shooting action to go.

Again, this is a short game, and also pretty easy. Anyone with experience in the genre will cut through it painlessly. Still, it's a fun adventure that doesn't dare waste a second of its limited runtime. Repetition is nonexistent, every stage has its own creative hook, and you'll see something pretty cool at least once per minute. The replay-value is close to nonexistent though, so if you're looking for more than a future pleasant memory, then look elsewhere. 

Still, I give Gradius: The Interstellar Assault a recommendation because it's clear the immense talent at Konami put a lot of love into it.