2025 Special - The Frog For Whom the Bell Tolls

I watched the Switch 2 presentation, and my first thought was "Maybe I should buy one." Seconds later I had a second thought, and that was "I definitely won't buy one." No disrespect to Nintendo's latest, but I've realized that I've got no business owning a $450 dust magnet while I spend the rest of 2025, 2026, and potentially beyond playing retro games. Assassin's Creed: Shadows, which I picked up at launch, has already fallen by the wayside. At least it got a couple days of playtime, which has to count for something. Point is, it's only been a few weeks and I'm already back in "review-mode". Awhile back, I posited to the void that is social media that reviewing 75 to 100 video games a year changes a person. It definitely changed me. My review schedule didn't allow time to enjoy games. Eventually, the culmination of hundreds of thousands of man-hours became as disposable as dental floss. After I quit being a critic in 2019, the next several years were spent learning to love video games again, without the need to summarize my thoughts and tack a made-up number at the end of them. 

I say all of this only to turn around and write 22 reviews in less than a month. Let's be real here, there is no way back for me. The Frog For Whom the Bell Tolls or Kaeru no Tame ni Kane wa Naru is game review #23. Released in 1992 for the Game Boy, this adventure-action game utilizes the engine that became the framework for The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening. Play both and you'll see a lot of similarities, including their usage of both overhead and side view sections. However, let's take a second look at its genre "adventure-action". I just made this up seconds ago, so no apologies if you think it's dumb. In a break from tradition, battles are entirely automated, with your stats being almost the sole determining factor whether you win or are hospitalized. The action is often found in jumping across platforms or avoiding fights entirely. You'll also be solving problems, just with a Zelda-like interface. To put it another way, you're essentially being taught multiple genres all at once: adventure, action, and RPG. 

Oh right, I should probably explain your role in this game. You are the Prince of Sable, the lone example of a good billionaire. He'll give up every last dime to help people in need, so don't get too attached to the 10,000,000,000 bucks he starts the beginning of his journey with. He's on a quest to find Princess Tiramisu, who went missing after the dastardly King Delarin invaded her kingdom. His journey to become a hero treads a little familiar ground, but any other expectations are bound to be subverted. I mean, you saw that part about "avoiding fights entirely" right? Storming the castle is out of the question.

Since battles are automated, there's absolutely no path forward for you if you skip out on heart containers and equipment upgrades. If finding goodies is what draws you into the Zelda games, then there's a lot to like here. Exploring the world is handled in a similar fashion. Hidden passages are found throughout the kingdom, though some require special items to open a path to them. Bear in mind that while being thorough is rewarding, it's not required. The game doesn't expect you to hunt miles away from your objective just to find the one stat-boost needed to pass the next boss. The pacing remains fairly smooth throughout your adventure, though some backtracking is expected. 

There's something else that I keep forgetting to talk about. What is it again? Something something bell tolls for the frog that- oh right right right. I should probably explain the whole frog business. Prince Sable, who is a little too trusting at times, drinks a potion that transform him into a frog. Frogs are unfortunately not much for fighting, but they can survive underwater and reach a lot of platforms that a prince can't. Later on, our hero can transform into a snake. Snakes have their own powers, like turning weaker enemies into climbable platforms. Switching between forms is a simple matter, and also a constant one. You'll have to utilize all three on your princess-finding journey. I want to stress however that these instances of problem-solving aren't particularly complicated. This is a game intended for as wide an audience as possible, so don't expect to find excessive puzzles. 

Do note however that the consequences for falling into spike pits are often harsh. Spikes tend to erase every last heart, and Sable gets hauled off to the last town he visited whenever he's exhausted his life. This is a teaching moment for the few out there who don't know about savescumming. This game features the option to save anywhere. You can save as much or as little as you want. Before boss-fights, in-between jumps, anywhere and anytime. This is an unexpected feature to have, at least by 1992 handheld standards. I really appreciate its inclusion, since it allows for Nintendo to get a little creative with late-game platforming sections. 

The Frog For Whom the Bell Tolls succeeds in creating an adventure that is quite unlike anything else on the platform. I'm shocked (but not that shocked) that it never received an official localization. There is a charming little story here that's packed with quirky characters. The replay-value is practically nil, but I suppose that's not too big a deal. Fond memories usually last longer anyway. 

Give it a try if you haven't already.

2025 Special - Daikatana

Let me go ahead and say it outright, Daikatana for the Game Boy Color was a disappointment. I had heard about this port for quite some time. Everyone claims that it's better than the PC original, and maybe they're right, but that doesn't make the GBC port good. I'm going to try and keep this review as short and sour as possible. There's not a whole lot of game here anyway. The average play-though takes two or so hours, and there isn't any real exploration or sidequests to engage in. In some ways, this felt like a scaled-back port that follows the same basic storyline but squishes entire levels into a handful of screens. It's like Kemco was trying to push me towards buying the "full version" available wherever PC games are sold. That's never going happen.

I suppose in the loosest sense this could be considered a Legend of Zelda-like. Hiro Miyamoto is a man on a mission to stop Mishima Zaibatsu and Team Ninja from using the Daikatana to conquer the world. He infiltrates Mishima's base and steals the legendary blade. Along the way, he rescues Superfly Johnson and Mikiko Ebihara. The three are then caught by Mishima and launched into a time warp. A cyberpunk game with cool swords and time travel should've been the greatest thing ever, but... well that's enough picking on the PC game. Much like the early days of Zelda, Hiro and his allies move from screen to screen, engaging enemies and puzzles along the way. The concept is sound, but mechanically there's little enjoyment to be had.

Aside from the titular weapon, Hiro can use a large variety of ranged or melee weapons. These are found throughout each level alongside limited ammo pickups, healing items, and armor. A menagerie of adversaries stalks the halls, typically in groups of two or three. The combat is... not great. Enemies that use guns try to keep their distance, but anyone with a sword will rush the protag. It's a sensible strategy for the enemy but fighting them always comes off as sloppy or mushy. There's none of the deft gameplay seen in other sword-centric overhead games. Even a little hit-stun would've gone a long way. Gunning baddies down with projectile weapons is probably the better idea, but ammo is limited. Everything that would benefit the player is in limited supply, disincentivizing combat encounters. This is drilled into the player's head once they realize that enemies respawn when changing floors. Basically, fighting isn't fun, and it wastes resources. Not a good look. 

Did I mention that there wasn't any exploration or sidequests? Yes, I did. Hunting for weapon and armor upgrades would've been a cool feature, except there's nothing of the sort here. The player receives a boost to their maximum health when a boss is defeated, but the damage scaling renders that boon awfully pointless. Over the course of a play-through, my HP went from 100 to 450. The final boss could still kill me in five hits. Sure, whatever. There are a few puzzles interspersed throughout. The most I can say about them is that they don't take up too much time.

Since I've already mentioned the final boss, I may as well talk about the final level as well. This place is awful. Hiro has to navigate a circle of rooms, turning dragon statues in multiple directions, all to open stairways to four mini-bosses. A fine concept but notice that I said stairways. Indeed, all of the enemies respawn every time Hiro returns from a mini-boss battle. The lack of resources and unfun combat make this entire level a painful slog. 

If you absolutely must play every top-down action-adventure game that stars a guy with a sword, then I can only hope that you're actually me from the future. Maybe future me will realize that he was wrong and go back in time to stop past me from having such insipid ideas. 

2025 Special - Illusion of Gaia

Warning - Before proceeding with the review, know that there will be spoilers aplenty, all unmarked. I recommend playing through the game before continuing onward.  

Got it? Good.

I'm not sure if it's the censored localization or my poor memory, but it turns out that I didn't know Illusion of Gaia at all. The second entry in Quintet's "Soul" trilogy, I had thought this to be a sometimes poignant but mostly cheery adventure about a kid who transforms into a kickass swordsman whenever there's danger. Saturday morning fare that's ideal for selling action figures or comic books. I didn't even notice all of the slavery going on, including children being forced to work in a diamond mine. Impoverished nations ravaged by starvation and disease being exploited by corporations. One slave outright says that there can't be a God when social status exists. I must've been too enthralled by the simple thrills of killing all of the monsters in an area for those sweet, sweet stat-boots. Everything clearly flew over my head like that "Wow!! Cool future!!" cyberpunk meme. 

Needless to say, a replay of the entire game was necessary. Rather than reattempt the official localization, I opted for Illusion of Gaia Retranslated. This romhack serves multiple purposes. It features a translation that doesn't plaster over the game's bleak themes and dark storytelling. While this may be an adventure designed for kids in mind, it doesn't shield them from the horrid truths about our world. The hack also adds a number of QOL features. The most significant of them, in my opinion, is the addition of a sprint button. Running is already possible (and required) in the original, and the button makes it a little more user-friendly. Besides that, none of the changes affect gameplay. 

Unlike Soul Blazer, which had its players rebuilding towns one monster generator at a time, this successor opts for the more traditional town > dungeon > town > dungeon > boss method of progression. It works quite well for this story and character driven game. You'll be spending a lot of time with a small group of friends, all of whom have their own arcs, and will even leave the protagonist when their goals no longer intersect. There is a surprising amount of growth shown by everyone, though considering the circumstances, they never had much of a choice. One early game example has the male and female leads being stranded at sea for several weeks. Another character reunites with his missing father, only to discover that he's lost his mind after an expedition went awry. I know the console gaming landscape has changed dramatically since 1994 but let me tell you that nobody else was doing coming-of-age stories back then. Quintet took on a very ambitious idea and the results are nothing short of impressive.

Towns in Illusion of Gaia are atypical. While there are NPCs that lament the uncertain fate of the world, and a few even drop hints for upcoming dungeons, everyone else treats the protagonist as just a kid... which he is. The towns are rarely the bastion of an idyllic society either. You're treated to a lovely facade that quickly falls apart the second you begin prodding. The beautiful city with the cherry blossoms flying freely in the wind has a slave market hiding in its backstreets. Though the protagonist is never in any real danger, he is witness to serious issues that his magical swordsman transformation can't even begin to address. It's a sobering feeling. There were times that I was more comfortable in a monster-infested dungeon than in a town. 

The dungeons are often landmarks of cultural significance distorted by the fiends that have taken them for a home. Your objective is to find mystical statues to prevent the world-ending calamity, but your immediate concern will always be the surrounding monsters. Each area is filled with anywhere from 5 to 40 fiends. You'll want to destroy them all, since clearing an area will award you a stat bonus. There is no other means by which to level up, so trying to rush past everything will make for excruciating boss battles. Traversing the increasingly complex dungeons will often require the protagonist to change back and forth between the Kid and Freedan forms. The swordsman's extra power is always welcome, but only the Kid form can slide through narrow passages or clamber up slippery hills. Much later on, a third form is introduced with its own skillset, resulting in even more switching around. It's practically impossible to get lost, but navigating each lair will require more from its explorers than merely running from point A to point B.

Slaughtering the plethora of monster that accost the hero doesn't take a lot of effort. I won't say effortless, because there is still a very real possibility of death. Each area typically has two or three types of monsters, all with their own behaviors and quirks. Learn them quickly, because these adversaries will be fought in more extenuating situations, such as in greater numbers or near traps. The Kid's abilities have a decent amount of i-frames, and Freedan can take out faraway enemies with powerful ranged attacks. Healing opportunities are limited to the few save points in each dungeon, or whenever life-upgrade is earned. All the more reason to kill everything in sight. I've mentioned it a thousand times already, but any game with constant fighting has to have a good combat system with solid mechanics. Again, this one delivers.

While exploring the dungeons, be sure to hang onto any herbs that you find. In fact, hold those herbs as tight as possible, even if it means having to retry a few boss fights. Illusion of Gaia allows you to carry more than one herb at a time, but they are limited, with no shops where the player can purchase more. In other words, whatever you use is gone for good. The game has a small number of bosses, but a few of them can be difficult, but keep saving those herbs. There is a boss rush at the end of the game, featuring multiple fights with no save points in sight. Is that a good time to use an herb? Well... maybe. Try to save a handful for the final battle anyway. The limited herb system might trip up some players, leaving them in a position that they may struggle to overcome. It's not a knock against the game, but something to be mindful of all the same.

Once again, we have an Action RPG that's a very easy recommendation. Illusion of Gaia is often dark, featuring moments that left me taken aback. Its moments of humor are understated. Sometimes they're how the friends cope with all they've seen and been through. Take this bit of dialogue for example. A young girl just watched her would-be assassin burn to death, and... I think she was making a joke here, a little gallows humor. 

On a sidenote, I believe players are more familiar with Black Panther's name in the official localization: Jackal. I prefer that name as well. I'm thinking that it might've been a reference to The Day of the Jackal, the 1973 movie about - you guessed it - an assassin. Anyway, it's really neat how there's this entire subplot about The Jackal stalking the main characters, leaving hints of his presence in every corner of the world. Neat stuff. 

Be sure to check this game out whenever you can. It doesn't have the gameplay depth of some of the Super Nintendo's most beloved classics, but a lot of thought went into its story and world. One could even consider the possibility that all of the game's fantastical elements are imagined by the protagonist, their escapism from a very painful reality. At least, that's my 2:00 AM interpretation.  

In any case, you're certain to have a memorable experience.

2025 Special - Beyond Oasis

Rather than waste a bunch of time writing up a review, I'll just refer to my previous Beyond Oasis write-ups that can be found here, here, and here...? Oh.

Oh no. 

Unbelievable! I've been singing the praises of this game for nearly thirty years but never wrote anything down. That's pretty damned foolish. Well, to be completely honest, I wasn't exactly head over heels in love with this game when I originally bought it ages ago. Let's go back to that ancient time, when the newest game by the Streets of Rage 2 team shared a shelf with the astonishingly expensive Phantasy Star IV. Beyond Oasis was a "much more reasonable" $70, and that's what I came home with. A $70 Action RPG that I finished over a single weekend. I can't recall Sega ever claiming that this game offered "hundreds of hours of adventure gameplay" but somebody out there had to have inflated the numbers to get my broke self to part with a dime. Not that it matters, the money was long gone, and my idiot self was stuck with an already finished game.

How does Beyond Oasis go from being a waste of money to one of my favorites on the Genesis? I suppose the simplest answer is because I kept playing. The replay-value isn't immediately obvious. There aren't any alternate routes or additional characters. I replayed the game many times over because it just feels good to play. I'll even go so far to claim that the movement and combat are some of the best the genre has ever seen. Ali is an exceptionally mobile character. He walks and runs in every possible direction, with none of the stiltedness that sometimes occurs in similar titles. Jumping takes a little practice, but the midair control is perfectly realized, allowing the developers to devise some nightmarish (and optional) platforming scenarios. The complete lack of contact-damage is a massive boon, and leads to appreciable details like standing on the giant rat's tails to keep them from moving. 

The combat ties everything together in a manner most perfect. Obviously, my expectations from the Streets of Rage 2 team were pretty high, yet they met them with effortless aplomb. There is a fluidity to every encounter that rivals classic beatemups. Ali's various techniques all serve a purpose and effect his enemies in ways beyond draining their health. You can hit someone with a charged attack, and their body will knock down anyone it collides with. Several foes have their own reactions when hit by fire. Giant rats are instantly roasted, often leaving behind delicious meat. Every interaction carries a weightiness to it, especially if there's violence involved. Inflicting pain and eventually death never gets old. The excellent movement ties into fighting in subtle but rewarding ways. Being able to move while performing a jumping slash attack adds a dynamic feel, allowing the player to maintain an advantageous position when dealing with mobile creatures. 

The bulk of this game's puzzles revolve around the four elements that Ali controls through his golden armlet. Most solutions are pretty basic, like using a water bubble to put out a roaring fire, or the long reach of a shadow to help the player cross gaps. This simplicity keeps the game moving at a brisk rate, especially when you consider the means to summon help are always nearby. Efreet, the fire elemental, can appear from a campfire, a torch, or... if your timing is right, an explosion. Summon the water element Undine from a slime if you're desperate for a healing. It's clever but not so clever that it becomes overbearing. You're not required to know intricate details just to progress or find secrets. It's all for the sake of efficiency. 

I think efficient is a good word for describing Beyond Oasis, and I'm not just talking about how it can be completed in a few hours either. There is efficiency in knowing where to position oneself in a fight, tapping the jump button at cliffs to quickly leap off of them, and even using the six-button controller for quicker menu navigation. This is a speedrunning game, every aspect designed to assist the player in cutting minutes and seconds off of their completion time. Dungeons start at just a few rooms in size, and though they eventually become larger, there is always a momentum to them. Backtracking is a welcoming surprise instead of a tiring norm. The same can be said for puzzles. They're quick and to the point, never requiring the player to push multiple blocks onto multiple switches. Perhaps I love this game simply because it doesn't have sliding block puzzles or "simon says" riddles or rhythm-based minigames or... let's move on.

What wasn't obvious to me in my first couple play-throughs is that there is actually a lot of optional content. Let's call them challenge dungeons. The first anyone will (literally) stumble into is behind a tree in the forest. It consists of 100 floors, all involving fights with the many denizens of Oasis. The benefits of efficiency are definitely felt here, because not once in my absurd number of play-throughs has this challenge dungeon ever felt like 100 floors. Enemies have slightly less health than usual but remain a threat due to enhanced aggression and reaction time. The aforementioned platforming dungeon features everything that has ever moved or disappeared under Ali's feet, with some added obstacles like powerful winds or obnoxious gargoyles. Another challenge dungeon involves false treasure chests that must be avoided to obtain the real reward. There's even a racetrack for Efreet to dash around. A neat idea, even if I'm not a fan. 

In spite of having one difficulty setting, Beyond Oasis has multiple ways for players to limit themselves for a greater challenge. The most obvious is to stop eating. Food is everywhere and Ali has incredibly deep pockets. Refraining from snacking makes encounters much more dangerous. Leveling up raises rank, increasing both strength and survivability. Avoid the hearts that occasionally drop from enemies to keep rank as low as possible. Other methods might require some serious planning or resource management, but the point is that you'll always have a way to push yourself further.

My initials thoughts on Beyond Oasis are long past irrelevant. Now, I recognize it as one of the greatest games of the 16-bit era. Maybe that is saying a lot, and maybe I've just grown more attached to it than most internal organs. Still, I have returned to this adventure too many times to count and have never found myself bored or merely going through the motions. Every aspect is exemplary, with hardly a wasted second or questionable design decision. It's a very lean game that know when to demand the most out of its player to keep them engaged and entertained.  

2025 Special - Rolan's Curse 2

Rolan's Curse II is good in all of the ways that Rolan's Curse I is not.

THE END

...Dammit.

Someday I'll work up the nerve to publish a single line review. It'd save me so much trouble, especially in the case of this game, where a single line does indeed serve as a sufficient review. NMK revisited the first entry, took note of what needed to change, then went on to exceed expectations. Exploring the cursed land of Rolan is no longer a smoldering plague. Everything moves at a faster rate. I can actually call the pacing methodical without laughing until I crumple into hysterics. Most important of all, the main character has a huge sword.

Look at it! Now that's what I call a sword! When it comes to top-down action-adventure games, the weapon should be so large that it bends reality around it like a rubber band. Notice how there's a monster below the hero. Also, notice how that monster gets hurt even when the sword is clearly not touching. Big sword. Bigger hitbox. Don't you just love it? If that wasn't enough, the hero's shining blade of excellence becomes more excellent as his level increases. Fancy slashing effects are added, increasing range and damage output. Maybe a weapon this awe-inspiring shouldn't be in every game, but it is totally welcome here. 

Rolan has seen a welcome overhaul when it comes to level-design. The repetitive hallways and lackadaisical mazes are gone. Now each location has a nice and distinct feel to it. A wide assortment of respawning beasties patrols the area or hunts the player-character down. They're easily dealt with, but their constant presence keeps things lively. 

While its predecessor opted for special items, Rolan's Curse II instead allows players to recruit other heroes, utilizing their special talents to explore the world or deal with baddies. The first of the recruits is an Elf who drops bombs, which serve a purpose that doesn't need explaining. Other recruits can cast healing spells or teleport to previous areas. Their full potential is unlocked by completing side-quests, which are often found near where you met them. Even if you have no intention of recruiting them, you may want to give them a hand anyway, since their dungeons provide leveling opportunities. In lieu of combat, you increase your level by finding specific power-ups. Oh, and by the way, there are seven potential recruits, though you can only have three at a time. The replay-value here isn't significant, but it exists.

No matter who you decide to recruit, a full party might be necessary for dealing with the bosses of Rolan's Curse 2. I know I've complained about bosses a LOT these past few weeks, but I'd say my reasons are sound. They always manage to come up with new ways to drive me up the wall. The first couple nemeses aren't liable to threaten anyone, but things take a turn shortly afterwards. There is a fight with a giant hand that chucks eyeballs. It seems simple enough, except the eyes are surprisingly hard to avoid, and it's not even worth the effort to try. Before long, this becomes the story for a number of bosses. Either they're firing too many projectiles or are just too difficult to dodge. You'll be locked in a war of attrition, relying on each recruit's HP, MP, and healing items to carry you towards the win. Be sure to swap out anyone who is low on health. The first person to die kicks the entire party back to the last checkpoint. 

The boss-fights are often the unexciting end to a decent dungeon, but they aren't so punishing that they bring the adventure to a screeching halt. No matter your skill-level, you'll quickly discover that this is a very breezy adventure. It only gets difficult if you purposefully avoid level-ups, or don't take advantage of the constant restoratives that are dropped in your lap. A complete play-through of Rolan's Curse 2 should only take three or so hours. Twice as long as its predecessor maybe, but several times more compelling and fun. Altogether, this is a fine game to play while doomscrolling or whatever else you're into.

2025 Special - Dink Smallwood

There is surprisingly little I can say about Dink Smallwood. 

No that's not it.

Dink Smallwood is one of those games where there isn't a lot to talk about.

That's no good either.

Everything that can be said about Dink Smallwood has already been said, and I have nothing to add.

Wow. Am I even trying here?

If sitting through absolutely worthless takes amuses you, then I'm sure you're having a wonderful time right now. Still, I have to be real here; this is just one of those games that you're better off playing than reading about. You can grab the HD port off of GOG for the low price of free. Dink Smallwood isn't complex, complicated, or convoluted. It barely has a learning curve. Granted, you'll want to keep multiple saves going at once, since there's probably one or two ways to make the game unfinishable. That's all you'll have to worry about, really. 

If you do decide to give this game a shot, the first feature that you'll notice is the D-Mod support. Since its release in 1998, Dink Smallwood has allowed for players to create their own scenarios and share them online. Indeed, there are nearly three decades worth of D-Mods to choose from. That's a lot of content. In another universe, I would've voraciously downloaded and played them all. Instead, I just settled for the main game. It's a short and kind-of sweet adventure. Dink utilizes weapons, magic, and a bit of problem-solving to complete quests. Standard stuff that's solidly executed.

Seriously, there's not a lot of meat for this reviewer to sink into. The combat is basic yet functional. Adversity comes in a few forms, but its tactics remain the same. They'll chase Dink down or wander around. Exploring the land for stat-boosts is fun, and trees can be burnt down to reveal secret passages. The simplicity of it all never even has time to become bothersome. The HD port goes a step further by offering a fast-forward button, erasing any lingering remnants of tedium. 

And that's it! Give Dink Smallwood a look if you're curious. Although, and this is important; there is some content that might be disturbing, including a scene depicting spousal abuse. Some dialogue options can also paint Dink (and the player) in a - let's just say - less than flattering light. Still, I'll hand it to this game. Unlike a number of other video games, there's nothing cool or rewarding about being evil. Dink never benefits from acting like an unrepentant sack of assholes.

2025 Special - The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

Before going any further, I'd like to question those out there who read reviews for validation. I mean, if that's all you care about and you're a fan of The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages, then let me save you a bunch of trouble by saying: This is a very good game. To all of the non-fans out there expecting validation, well... Sorry! The exit for both crowds is right around the corner. While I'm at it, the people who only read reviewers they agree with? Talk about a weird bunch. So, uh... what happens when the reviewer says something that they disagree with? Honestly, as if games-writers didn't have enough nonsense on their agenda, they have to walk some insane tightrope while jumping through flaming hoops. 

I say all this, because right now I'm questioning why I decided to pick up a keyboard again. 2019 really should've been the end. My writing career was already the last moments of Old Yeller stretched out over the course of a decade. The love I had for both video games and writing had turned into a piss-boiling hatred. Obviously, I'm not going to say that I've felt better since quitting, because 2020 to this very moment has been a shithouse rolling downhill for everyone. But... but I thought at the very least I killed my passion. The one thing I had - besides my brain - that has never done me any favors. "It sucked, but at least it's over." as I've likely said about so many video games that I've played. If I'm being brutally honest, it's unfair. It's unfair that my passion is still alive. It lives on in spite of... EVERYTHING.

I'm getting to the review... I think.

With that garbage out of my system, it's time to conjure up a hypothetical person who has managed to go nearly 25 years without playing the better half of Capcom's Game Boy Color Zelda duology. Let's be real here, it's not that difficult. I was that exact person earlier this month. Of course, now the question becomes, "Which is the better half? Ages or Seasons?" Saying that both games are great and commending them as equals is so boring. There can only be winners or losers. Condemnation has been powering Gamers since the advent of a second Pong game. Besides, I simply have to string the validation crowd along for a while longer.

First off, and this will be clear to anyone who has played both games, Oracle of Ages got a bit more time in the oven. There is a story beyond "Link takes orders from a tree." Unlike Din, Nayru has something resembling agency. Veran, the villainess, specializes in possession, which is much more interesting than kidnapping. The world of Labrynna isn't as confined as Holodrum, likely since it only has to account for a past and a present instead of four seasons. There is a spirit of adventure, something that wasn't always present in the other game. In fairness, Oracle of Seasons had the occasional wrench tossed in its development cycle. Originally it was planned to be a remake of the first Legend of Zelda. The fact that Flagship managed to turn it into something that was several times more ambitious is a little shocking and kind-of scary. Imagine them at the full extent of their powers and- oh yeah. The director went on to do Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom. That probably explains a thing or two.

Ages is also the game that I recommend everyone should start with. Think of it like going from Normal (Ages) to Hard (Seasons). Going in reverse is fine too, just don't be surprised when you're crushing bosses without a sweat. This Oracle entry simply isn't as demanding. Once you've determined the strategy needed to defeat your adversary, then there's little else to worry about. A boss in Seasons might have been more aggressive or had gimmicks that placed a greater strain on your abilities, but as I mentioned in the last review, if you start with Ages, the "that's it?" feelings will bubble to the surface on more than a few occasions.

Now, I have to point out the double-edged sword that extra time in the oven turned out to- dude... All of these sayings mixing together are melting my brain. Let me just square it with you: Oracle of Ages went overboard on the minigames. Since The Legend of Zelda's very beginnings, there has always been some sort of mini adventure between each dungeon. Finding the entrance typically involved reaching the destination and/or solving some a puzzle of sorts. Later games expanded on this aspect in many ways. For example, Death Mountain in Zelda 2 didn't have a palace at its summit, but you still needed the hammer it houses to continue on with the game. These mini adventures are what creates a grand and memorable epic. Unfortunately, Ages' mini adventures are sometimes just a series of minigames. It's... not great.

Again, anyone who has played this game knows exactly where I'm going here. Gorons; you're all on notice. In-between the fifth and sixth dungeons, players have to partake in a lot of extracurricular activities to be recognized by the Goron family or whatever. There's an item-trading chain that requires time travel, bomb dodging, shooting targets from a mine cart, and everyone's least favorite: Rhythm Hell. The Graceful Gorons hold the two keys you'll need for the sixth dungeon, and they won't give them up, unless you can match their rhythm in a surprisingly unforgiving minigame. 

Let me say right here that I must've lucked out. My worthless carcass has flunked everything from Guitar Hero to Elite Beat Agents, but I still managed to get both keys in less than ten attempts. There are a lot of players who didn't fare nearly as well. Getting the timing right is a big ask, potentially huge depending on the skill level of the player, so locking them out of the rest of the game is awfully rude. Why is a rhythm mini-game tougher than every boss, anyway? That's such a weird decision on Flagship's part. I guess I'll also lob a complaint about the 'bartering with the Tokays' quest, mainly because I have to barter just to get back the stuff they stole from me. It's an unnecessary inconvenience, but at least I'm actually engaging with the game and not just timing button-presses.

Dungeon-wise, and this really could've gone either way, but I think I'll give the win to Oracle of Seasons. Ages also has plenty of great dungeons, but I have to dock points for all of the minecarts. I'm not sure why there are so many instances where Link has to ride a cart around. I don't even know how fans of video game minecarts can exist. Nonetheless, they're in several dungeons, mucking up the theme and not adding all that much substance. One of the other puzzles is also noteworthy for its badness. It's a "paint the floor" puzzle where you move from space to space until the entire floor is a specific color, without skipping around or painting yourself into a corner. One in particular has a space you're supposed to cover up using the Wand of Somaria. I can't explain why it's a dumb solution, but it's a dumb solution.

It's a dumb solution, trust me.

Like I mentioned in the previous review, both Ages & Seasons can be "linked" by inputting passwords received upon the completion of either game. Also, special NPCs that only appear in linked games will dole out passwords that lead to awesome items. I think it's a fantastic idea, even if it left me slightly confounded at times. My play-through of Ages was linked, so upon completion of the main story, I had to face off against Twinrova and Ganon in a climactic battle. In preparation for what was certain to be a tough fight, I tried to get the Master Sword, but I must've messed up somewhere. Either I had to play through a linked game of Seasons, or I did something out of order, or... well let's just say I was in too deep to retrace my steps. Ganon is doable with the level 2 sword, though not without a ton of spin attacks. I'm sure kid me would've had a lot more patient to work this feature out... except I was already 20 years old in 2001... 

Wow. Another depressing thought. I haven't had one of those in several seconds.

After some careful analysis, I've come to the conclusion that the validation crowd won't be happy. Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages are equally great. Barring a very unfortunate run-in with Gorons, the world of Labyrnna feels more like a real place, and not so much a series of puzzles & secrets like Holodrum. Both games have excellent dungeons, with Holodrum edging ahead slightly. The boss battles could go either way. Look. Just play both of them. If you've already played both, then love both. They're deserving of that much. 

There is a play-through of Link's Awakening in my future, so perhaps then the decisive winner among the three Game Boy Zelda entries will be crowned. Then again, who knows? Maybe I'm secretly waiting to play the "Actually I don't think Link's Awakening is all that great." card. 

Nah. That's just sick and twisted. 

I really must not care about Link's animal friends to go two entire reviews without mentioning them.